Health worries making everyone around me angry

I admit, it must be hard to listen to someone with health anxiety. I don't know what I expect, but the anger upsets me so much..

Ive been doing really well for about a week. Which is wonderful because I had such a terrible time for a few weeks previous. Today though I found myself feeling anxious again and worrying about my symptoms... My right leg has been bothering me on and off for well over a month. Its like I'm more aware of it than I should be and sometimes I get sharp pains in it, while other times (like right now) it hurts a little and feels slightly numb. I've also been continuing to feel fatuige, especially after eating. Along with the fatuige after eating I feel kind of dizzy and off balance, and my head feels funny like along my brow. during these times I also often feel very cold. Especially in my arms and nose.


It's so confusing, because everyone tells me it's all in my head but I dont feel depressed, and I only feel anxious after the symptoms start and persist. I feel so frustrated with this and having absolutely no support or understanding makes it so much harder to just ignore. I tried telling my husband that I was concerned about how I felt today and he immediately started yelling that he's tired of dealing with this, that I need to take medication, that this HAS to stop NOW, etc.. all anger, not one ounce of support, understanding, or even acknowledgement that I'm suffering too. It hurts because hes only been dealing with it for a few weeks. Prior to that I was doing pretty well and prior to that I used to hide my anxiety from him because I knew he would be angry if I did tell him.

How do I not let my lack of support bother me? I can understand that it must be annoying to listen to.. but I feel like I need to be able to tell someone and get support from somewhere. When he yells at me I cry and then I just end up feeling worse.

I really understand where you are coming from. Although my husband does not USUALLY get angry he does not, can not and has no desire to understand my depression and anxiety. If he catches me crying all i get is" oh stop your blubbering". Some days my depression is so bad it's hard to get off the sofa. I always try to get something done even if it's just wash the dishes and sweep the floor. He does get upset about that telling me that he can't do everything. If I talk about my anxiety he's all "just don't worry about it< get over it". It is very frustrating. The past few days he has even begun calling me crazy. When they were talking about Robin Williams on t.v. tonight and his show The Crazy One's he said "yep he was a crazy one" Which really pissed me off. I guess it is all part of the stigma that goes with mental disorders. Maybe one day people will "get it". In the meantime I'm seeing a therapist and that does help. I also see a med nurse who just changed my meds so hopefully it will help.
Good luck to you and (((HUGS)))

I'm honestly not sure if theres somewhere I could go. Husband is military so we are kind of displaced. Even worse his job has him away from military bases so that isolates us even more. Top that off with small children and no baysitter and it pretty much sucks.

I had a therapist but she was mean and told me that I think like a scared child and that I'm essentially rediculous. On top of that since im forced to see someone in a military setting my regular doctor has access to my therapists notes so the last time I was in there he was going on about how I need to keep seeing my therapist because obviously this was all about my childhood. Something my therapist keeps insisting upon even though I've made it clear that I have no memories of anything from my childhood that would warrant that suspicion.

I appreciate the responses. It sucks to hear that I'm not the only one without aupport but its comforting to know I'm not alone as well.

Sometimes we 'project.' When you said your therapist was "mean"...is it possible that is your interpretation? That you are assigning an emotion onto a delivery of a message she was trying to relate to you?

If we are feeling defensive or self-conscious, it is not uncommon to assume and anticipate discord. By doing so, we attach negative emphasis on what other people say, even though it is not intended that way. It's how we're choosing to receive their message.










M.

At this point my doctor is 100% convinced that nothing I say could possibly be anything but anxiety. I have a follow up scheduled with him this week to dicuss medication and I will mention it but I doubt he will think its anything other than anxiety.

As for my therapist Merrida I'm not 100% sure. I had been seeing her since last fall and I felt like all she ever did was point out my flaws and make me feel bad about myself. She upset me so much once that I sat in my car and cried hysterically for 15 mins before I could drive home. Here's a few examples of what I mean..

My kindle wasnt charged for one trip to the waiting room so I brought my rubix cube. On the way in she asked about it and I kind of pushed it under the table saying that it was actually really easy and that anyone with a good memory could do it, it only took memorizing the algorithms and a little practice. she later accused me of talking down to her and rubbing it in her face that I could do the rubix cube stating that I clearly wanted her to feel like I was smart becuase I used the word algorithm. This angered me because not only do I have little self confidence but what I said was true. I'm no genius.. I just memorized a bunch of moves and the reality is that once you know how to do it it really isnt all that impressive anymore.

A different day I came in and said that I didnt want to talk about my sister that day. She lives with me and had been the topic of at least the last two session which just amounted to me *****ing about little things and I felt that I had other things that needed to be addressed. I didnt think this would be an issue considering she usually asked me in the beginning what I wanted to talk about. I then told her I wanted to talk about my health anxiety and she responded by saying "ok then, how's your health anxiety going". I said that I was in the process of getting an event moniter for my palpitation so that I could be sure that they werent anything to continue worrying about. She then starting trying to give me advice, ask me if I thought my palpitations were all in my head, told me I should try deep breathing to slow my heartrate down, etc and I kept trying to tell her that my palpitations were single beats only, that my heartrate was not fast before or during them and then she got frustrated and told me that I'm combative and that she didn't know what to tell me about my palpitations, as if I was searching for medical advice from her. Then she got on me about "coming in and telling her whats what and what I didnt want to talk about that day" as if I did something mean or wrong by saying I wanted to talk about something besides my sister and our petty arguments.

More recently I told her that my uncle died of cancer and her response was. "How old was he?" I said 60. So the next thing she said was "oh great something else for you to have anxiety over, you know since he was young and died of cancer".

Then later that session she tells me that she has to report my husband to the family advocacy program in the military for emotional abuse because of the way he reacts to my anxiety. Family advocacy is a program designed to report child and spousal abuse and I felt that her choice to do that was way over too extreme for the circumstances.

She claimed that any negativity was projected by me but I truly felt that all she ever did was point out my flaws and make me feel bad without ever giving me any advice on how to improve other than saying unhelpful things like "oh come on you know better" and continually telling me that I think like a child.

Either way, I wasnt comfortable. I have had many therapists and none of them have ever made me feel so low and uncomfortable. I recognize that I have issues and one of them is a social awkwardness problem. I wasnt comfortable talking to her and having her throw it all in my face because im aware of it all and making me feel bad about it doesnt help me and it doesnt fix it..

As I see it, you have a few options.

One is to accept that, at least at this point, you really do have anxiety and follow the prescribed course of treatment for that, and give it time to take effect.

Two is to also discuss directly, in person, with your therapist, why you feel uncomfortable with her. If you've felt uncomfortable for months, explain why. She may not even know since you've never said anything, so she never changed tactics. Someone cannot change something they do that's bothering you if they're unaware of it.

Third would be to (after the 2nd) find a new therapist. I found mine on www.psychologytoday.com and whether it was fate, fortune, luck of the draw, intuition,....who knows, but I got a GEM and I wouldn't trade him for the world! And I've only been seeing him a few weeks!

Other therapists I've had for a year, another one 8 months. And yes, I am very guilty of not telling them directly why I was displeased,....because I was more concerned that *they* were the professional, I was *just* the patient, *I* didn't know as much or know better, this was their *job*....

In short, I was meek and submissive and did not stand up for myself. Totally insecure.

The right match makes all the difference in the world!











M.

I may not be following *all* of your post completely (I just woke up),...

But based on the accumulation of things that you're saying, then in my humble and personal opinion, I would fire her and find another therapist.

The way I found mine, yes it was on that website. But I also typed in my specific concern/s, and local area, and I was given a list of therapists the specialize in my own problem/s.

Your therapist may just have a different specialty.

It dawned on me with my last therapist after a good year (yeah, I know, but it took that long for me to bite the bullet and have it dawn on me)....I was mentioning that as we (Hubby and I) were preparing our move, that I felt very proud of myself for having all my doctor visits in order in advance and planned ahead.

She made the comment that my primary focus seems to be revolved around medical care.

Then *WHAM* it hit me. She's actually a Family Therapist. She doesn't deal with people who have been traumatized, abused, or who have CP. It's just her training and background which left her unfamiliar with how to deal with someone like me.

That was our last visit.

So I know it can take a while but the bell finally rung! :)

Big, big, big emphasis here: The RIGHT therapist makes all the difference in the world. There is no rule or guide that says they're all the same, nor that they are all good, nor that they are all right *for you!*

There has to be a good fit.










M.