Blubbering Idiot

Yea...that was me today. I was supposed to have a doc appt (45 mins away), but I didn't make it. I haven't been able to make it more than a couple miles down the road in 3 weeks. Even with a Xanax I could not get in the truck. Needless to say, my hubs was very frustrated and I ended up being a blubbering idiot in the driveway. Thank heavens we live in the country and no neighbors saw. It was so embarrassing and awful! And of course, I missed my appt to get my FMLA ppwk filled out. Gah!

Hi SK.,

I am so sorry that you had a rough time of it today! I understand, as I do not like going to doctor's appointments either.

Were you able to calm down and feel better once you got back into the house?

Would you say this is more of an agoraphobia issue than seeing the doctor...or both? Figuring out precisely what is triggering your fears may help with success in future trips.

What are you currently doing to treat your challenges?

There are lots of helpful suggestions in our Resources here on the main page (1st thread)...or I will be happy to pull up some links for you at your request...just let me know what would be most helpful for you.:)

I wish you much progress in getting to your appointment eventually. So...it did not happen today...but it will eventually with some work to conquer your obstacles!

With understanding and support!

S.C.

S

First of all, here's a hug of warmth and understanding because I know how you feel :)

Now, did you reschedule your appointment? If not please do so. Next time around I know you will do better!

Remember your coping skills, healthy distractions, and medication. You may have to pull out all your "big guns" but I have all the faith in the world in you!

It's the 'little victories' and baby steps that takes us to a place called "Healing"!

God bless

Cornell

Thank you all for your kind words!

I have been in a dark place the last 24 hours. My hubs is so frustrated and stressed. He has been a bit harsh with his words and all I can do is sit there. I can't even argue with him. I have no fight in me. I know he loves me and he is just stressed, but it still stings.

Thanks Mom! I love my doctor so much I could never think about changing and when he moved his office 45 minutes away it was no big deal...until now. And he is the one who diagnosed me years ago and knows ME.

SC - I was in quite the tear fest when I finally made it back in the house. I haven't cried that hard in a long time. Like I said, my hubs was frustrated. :-/ I was almost like instant relief the moment he told me to just go back into the house. Although I still had to calm myself down. I don't think I was nervous about the appt so much as the distance. I have seen my doc for 10 years now and I know I need to see him to have mine and my hubs (so he doesn't have to travel to Japan) FMLA ppwk filled out. My current treatment is a xanax and pacing until I can breathe again. Helpful, I know. :-/

Hibee - I would give anything for my doctor to come see me. We just don't seem to have any around here who make housecalls.

Cornell - I did reschedule. He is out of the office, so the first available is Nov 7th. I chose a morning appt (as opposed to yesterday's afternoon appt) hoping I won't have all day to dwell on it. I might go smoother. Fingers crossed.

Thanks Lisa! I plan to push myself and go for drives or rides a little further each day. And hopefully by my next appt it won't feel like such an undertaking.