Progress

Hello!

I just want to share the progress that I've made so far. It's been 15 months since anxiety and panic attacks became a significant part of my life. And 5 weeks since I fell into the depersonalization hole. Since then, I've been able to pull myself out little by little. I've been seeing a therapist for a month now, and although I look forward to my weekly session, I've not accomplished much in my meetings.

The hardest part of my dp is the existential thoughts. But with research and understanding, and finding people who have gone through it and overcome it, I'm better able to understand it and live with it. I think the trick to overcoming my own anxiety is that I sought help as soon as it got to the point where I thought I couldn't live with it. I'm restoring my faith in God and in myself, which personally was a huge step for me. I see my progress every day and actually look forward to the things that normally caused me panic, such as the train or bus, because it's another opportunity for me to overcome and conquer this beast.

Acceptance is key in my recovery. Looking back over the past month, it's hard to remember anything other than my mental trauma and it makes me want to put myself in every day life more. I wake up in the morning and instead of seeing another day of anxiety, I see another day with potential for happiness. It's really a shift in my outlook on life, and for me that was an essential part of moving on and getting past this.

I know that there are many people who have been suffering for years, and I don't want to make you feel like I don't know what you're going through because I haven't suffered as long. But I do understand, and although I'm So very grateful that I was able to get relief, I sympathize with anyone that has dealt with this for a day, a month, a year, or ten years. It's the worst experience I've ever gone through and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But know that the power is within you to recover and you will not be lost forever if you have the will and determination to stop taking your thoughts so seriously.

I'm taking it one day at a time and looking forward to each day of progress, even the off days. And on those off days, I'm very thankful to have all of you for support.

Thanks again, and bless you all!

I'm happy things are going well for you. Keep it up and take it one day at a time.

Thank you! Today was my first day with no existential thoughts, so I thought it was worthy of a share. I also recently posted about the medications I was prescribed (citalopram and lorazepam) and decided not to take the citalopram. And I haven't taken lorazepam in 4 days! I also stopped the st. Johns wort because it was giving me some crazy dreams. It still is 3 days after taking it, not sure if it's that or just the anxiety. I've been waking up at all hours of the night, which is different because when I was in my darkest days I was so exhausted that I usually slept until my alarm went off. Kind of backwards. I also think I'm coming down with something, which might be why it's hard to sleep. I'm guessing anxiety compromises your immune system, at least I wouldn't be surprised if it did. I haven't been ill in years! But anyway, I'll take whatever comes my way. I'm ready for it!

Marj- thanks for the inspiration. I wish I was as wise as you when I was your age. Not putting you on a pedestal (don't want to add any pressure hehe), but you've already come a long way with a good attitude & "sharing is caring" so please continue to share your experitnces & progress- it's much appreciated!

Sending you all the best!
Lisa