Posted 12/28/2014 8:22 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks, Park12, for the response!
In answer to your questions, no I don't have a therapist, not anymore. I live in a small town, 1 psychiatrist, far too few mental health workers. I did see this psychiatrist for a few years, only because he was the only choice, but his "help" was less than, to say the least. When my insurance changed 18 months ago his office informed me they could no longer see me which put me out of luck completely. The meds he had me on which were semi-working were abruptly stopped, a disaster all on its own. Within a very short time my symptoms were no longer manageable and my day to day activities dwindled to nearly nothing. My communication with others stopped.....lots of reasons there.
Last time my anxiety/panic was this bad, I was 25 years old, experiencing something I had no knowledge or understanding of, eventually becoming agoraphobic. I was fortunate to have at that time a very supportive husband who was very goal oriented! He researched, read everything he could find, located an outpatient clinic specializing in agoraphobia, got me admitted to the program and life changed! We lived in a larger city with options for doctors so we "shopped" until finding one more specialized in panic/anxiety disorders.
In the intervening years I have learned to deal with all this through pharmacological help at times, behavioral techniques, making accommodations........some good times, some really great times, some bad times, and now a really bad time. Unfortunately now the situation is exacerbated by the fact the supportive husband is now a vindictive ex-husband. I moved across the state to a small town in order to care for my parents who needed help, a task that was much more than I had anticipated and with far less sibling support than I had been promised. My life was caring for Mom and Dad, and a full time job it was! I lost touch with most of my friends, primarily because I was unable to leave town to visit anyone, nor could I have visitors in the house because it would be so upsetting to mom. My two kids, 20 and 24 at the time were already somewhat estranged from me, the result of a malicious divorce. My move to care for my parents was something they couldn't/wouldn't understand and they basically told me I was on my own. Which I was.
What a rambling answer to a simple question! Just recently I finally answered one of dozens of previously unanswered phone calls from my primary care physician's office reminding me lab work was overdue. I blubbered out the reason I was unable to drive the 8 blocks there, recounted some of the most crippling aspects of my shaky mental health. She got me in the following morning, before other patients arrived, had me meet privately with her and with my doctor, resulting in getting some prescriptions and a lot of compassion, sympathy, empathy and sincere conversation. With the meds I am gradually "coming to", but it's very slow and without the family support I once had, it's just so lonely. One day at a time...........