Social anxiety - violent thoughts?

This post may be overly vague, but I'm trying to be careful for fear of breaking forum rules... If I failed to do that and my post has to be edited or deleted, I whole-heartedly apologize.

My husband, who has very severe social anxiety and generalized anxiety/panic attacks, recently confided some things in me that have me pretty shaken.

I was just wondering, how do you differentiate between intrusive thoughts vs. violent fantasies?

I've had intrusive thoughts but what he's describing seems much different to me. As in, they bother me and I try to put them out of my head. He... enjoys them to a degree? indulges them? expands on them?... though he wonders why he thinks that way, I'd call them fantasies... scary ones. He says that way of thinking is more why he doesn't like being around people than his anxiety issues/panic attacks. He doesn't want anyone to "set him off."

I've got to say, the whole thing has my anxiety at peak levels... it took me over a week just to post here. I'm kinda terrified.

Hoping others can offer insight that might put my worries at ease...


(P.S. miss y'all! Sorry I only pop in when I'm troubled these days!)

Thanks S.C.,

Thanks for always being there with an encouraging response. :)

It's been a number of months since I saw my psychologist, as I had gotten my panic attacks under control and my depression to a point where I could kind of manage. I think I may see if I can get back in with her to discuss this. He's never seen a counselor (other than one joint session with mine before I went inpatient last year). He always refuses.

It's funny that you mention the thing about writers and the horror genre. That's something my counselor brought up to reassure me when I was bothered by my own intrusive thoughts.

I keep trying to tell myself that my "anxiety brain" is just in overdrive, but I'm kind of obsessing over this and putting things together that *hopefully* don't go together.

Hey Lisa!

Good to hear from you. :)

I'm doing well. After I got out of the hospital, I stayed on effexor, geodon and xanax for quite some time. I've tapered off of them all for now. Wish I had stayed on the effexor, though. I have a prescription for it in my glovebox, which I sometimes look at but never go fill. haha!

Overall, I'm doing really, really well with my issues. I've only had one real panic attack in months (got my heart rate too high at the gym, focused on it, freaked out). I still have heavy waves of depression once or twice a week, but that's always been my normal, as long as there are breaks I do okay.

How have you been, friend?