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Husband is going away for two nights - so nervous

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Posted 3/1/2015 5:14 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there,

My husband is working away for two days and nights and I am so nervous. I rely on him so much when I feel panicky, especially to look after our young daughter if I feel like I need to go and lie down or take some time out.

Logically I know I will be fine but I am so nervous that my throat has closed up and my dinner feels stuck in my throat... He hasn't even left yet :-( He has to go and I don't want him to feel guilty, but I am laying down on my bed feeling miserable and starving and my throat feels horrid :-(
Posted 3/1/2015 5:29 PM (GMT 0)
I know exactly how you feel. I am the exact same way about my husband. He is my comfort right now and if he leaves for just a while I get anxious. Start doing your resources your guided meditation and your deep breathing that will help. Best wishes.
Posted 3/1/2015 5:29 PM (GMT 0)
Sometimes anticipatory anxiety is just as bad as regular anxiety! But I know exactly how you feel, as my husbands travels quite a bit for work. I've somehow learned to put the anticipatory anxiety aside, but still am a bit anxious right after he leaves. I have small children too, so I just really try to throw myself into taking care of them.

Wishing you well.
Posted 3/1/2015 5:34 PM (GMT 0)
I know exactly how you feel. My son, who is 23, has applied to the Peace Corps and just the thought of him going away has sent me spiraling into anxiety/panic and depression. In my case though, I know he has to live his life and not stay with his mother forever but I feel the same sense of comfort when he's around as you do with your husband. I suggest you do the same thing as I do when I'm feeling lonely anxious and depressed....keep posting on this site, reading other people's posts and possibly replying to them. It gives me the feeling there are people out there who understand and it also gives me a sense of purpose if I feel maybe I am helping someone else. Good luck to you...I know you will get through it with your own inner strength and all the people here to help.
Posted 3/1/2015 6:28 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone, it is nice to know you understand. I wish it wasn't so hard though. You are right of course, I should do some relaxation / meditation exercises, try and distract myself and try and have fun with my little girl.

So... He has gone now and let the bedtime routine begin.... With a bit of Frozen music...

Trying not to let things overwhelm me x
Posted 3/1/2015 7:05 PM (GMT 0)
SMD,

Great job on getting going on some distraction, and having a good mindset about making the most of the situation!!

We are here for you, so post as often as you need to for the next coupld of days. We will keep you encouraged and cheered on!

Also, do you have a friend or family member close by that you can call if need be?

You are stronger than you know, and will be able to get through this just fine.:)

S.C.
Posted 3/1/2015 7:24 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there,

Unfortunately my parents are on holiday at the mo. If there is a real emergency I could call my in laws, but they will only help if they have no plans, like they wouldn't rearrange a hair appointment or something - which means it is very hit a miss whether they could help out.and the only friends that I know I can confide in either have little ones themselves or work so wouldn't want to bother them...

I don't like wishing time away, but I will feel so much better once it is Tuesday morning!

Well my little girl is in bed, singing away at the top of her voice :-) here's hoping she sleeps well. I am now going to have to try and do some studying :-s

You lot are lovely by the way, I do feel a bit better knowing that you understand and that you are here for me if I post. Thanks again x
Posted 3/2/2015 8:25 PM (GMT 0)
I am glad you have some mechanisms to help you move through this time. It will be over before you know it. Are there some special things that you can do with your LO while your DH is gone? -Cookin'Quiltin
Posted 3/2/2015 8:33 PM (GMT 0)
Yes, we are stronger than we know...got me to thinking how I've made my life work ALONE after divorce umteen yrs ago....worked 40 yrs, raised a child alone and had fots of fun too....for me re-marriage was not an option, once was good and enough. Take care and you'll be find. J
Posted 3/2/2015 11:01 PM (GMT 0)
Wow, JH - that is inspirational - I don't know how dingle parents managed!

Thanks also, Lisa - I have just been doing the usual with my little girl, as I just don't feel up to doing special stuff. But we did make it out to see some friends and played Lego, and I let her watch a film - so she was happy.

I got through last night and today, I am at the half way point. I am knackered though and haven't really eaten enough. Last night I could sleep for ages and woke up having a panic attacks at 3am, so awake till four :-(

Hoping for a better night tonight as my daughter wakes me at 6.30 regardless!
Posted 3/2/2015 11:12 PM (GMT 0)
You're halfway there and doing great keep it up. Yeah!!! Hope you're able to eat a good supper and get plenty of sleep tonight.
Posted 3/3/2015 8:59 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Barb, I started off ok, managed a small supper and got yo sleep... Then I had a dream I was being sick (I am phobic about throwing up)... Cue waking up in a massive panic attack and took me ages to get back to sleep again.

So tired this morning as only got about 4 hours sleep in the end. Still no more nights to get through, just today. Very much wishing that my husband hadn't booked a dentist appointment forme and my girl this afternoon!

Thanks everyone x
Posted 3/3/2015 5:41 PM (GMT 0)
SMD,

I am sorry about you bad dream and waking in panic.:( That is miserable!

Still...you did GREAT!!

...and you are on the home stretch!

Wishing you are relaxed evening after your appointments...rest, relax and go to bed early if you need to.

Well done.:)

S.C.
Posted 3/3/2015 5:54 PM (GMT 0)
I know how you are feeling . My husband went away on September 9th and im with our three kids. I was 8 months pregnant at the time. He's the one who calms me down keeps me cool. Now our 10 year old daughter has taken that place and talks to me when I'm panicky Ive even had to jump out the car and she had to talk me out of panic. It's awful but I get through it and forget about it until next time. You'll get through this!
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