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Posted 3/9/2015 10:57 AM (GMT 0)
Hi there, this is my first time ever on a forum, always read but never posted.. So here goes ☺️
My anxiety first started about 4 years ago when I was 18 years old, like most others I thought I was going to die, 10 or so trips to a+e even in the ambulance with blue flashing lights (embarrassing) but after a longgggg time I accepted it was anxiety. I received CBT after being referred from my doctor and this was just amazing, leaving out the nasty details I honestly felt like she had saved my life. So for about 1 year after this I was great, yes I still had my anxiety but I could cope until now. I have never felt in a more lonely dark place, every day is a total struggle and I can't even leave the house. I feel each day is getting worse and worse with brand new terrifying symptoms but the most scary is just feeling 'weird' how can I explain that to my doctor? I'm terrified because I feel 'weird' just not right in my body. I know I have managed to cope before and I'm praying I will again and I'll get through this bad patch but I just need someone else's reassurance, in general I only have my mum to talk to and I feel I am totally burdoning her with stress and worry she doesn't need. Thanks for listening
Posted 3/9/2015 11:19 AM (GMT 0)
Dear Rowan - I can definitely relate to what you're saying. Oftentimes anxiety makes you just feel totally "weird" and most of us who suffer with this affliction can relate to that. It's an awful, awful feeling and one you just have to fight through and know that it will pass. Anxiety is something that can occur sometimes without reason...nothing in particular that triggers it...other time we can recognize what's bringing it on. When we get, however, it can manifest in many different ways....one being that weird feeling you're describing. And when we have that, all we want to do is feel "normal" again. I am going through a similar condition right now so I feel as bad for you as I do for myself. We can get through tho....some days will be better than others. Yesterday I thought I felt better than I had in months, then this morning I awoke feeling pretty good, made my coffee, was watching an old movie and then an anxiety/panic attack hit out of nowhere making me feel completely "weird" and shakey and completely freaked out. Who's to say what, if anything, brought it on but just having it for whatever reason is so scarey. Maybe what I really experienced this time was more of a panic attack because my heart started beating wildly which doesn't usually happen with straight anxiety but why I should suddenly have a panic attack out of nowhere is so overwhelming and terrifying. I hope you will find the same comfort I do when visiting this site. The people on here understand more than any therapist really can, although I realize they can also do alot of good if you find the right one. I wish you luck and keep posting for support!
Posted 3/9/2015 12:49 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks so much for this reply, it has already took a slight weight off my shoulders knowing someone understands how I feel, the worst feeling in the world is being totally misunderstood and that your losing the plot. So many times people have joked about my condition saying 'your going to end up in the mental hospital' I suppose it's the stigma with mental health. I have an app for next week with my doctor as I am physically and mentally exhausted. I'm so sorry to hear you had a bad day yesterday, I always try and change my train of thought when it comes on usually distraction works well, start doing dishes or run my daughter a bath etc. simple things. But this isn't so simple when it comes out of nowhere and u have no thought to change it's just there, and takes over. Again thankyou for your reply and I hope today is a better day for you.x
Posted 3/9/2015 12:57 PM (GMT 0)
I want you to know you are not alone. I've had more success lately and this weekend it all hit me hard and now I'm a mess. Weird feelings, shaky, waiting for something bad to happen and more.

Why?

When it happens you think you are the only one that is suffering and no one else can possibly have these horrid feelings but I know we share this with so many others.

Wishing you peace and calm. It will come once again.
Posted 3/9/2015 1:15 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Rowan - Just wanted to say glad you reached out here and sorry you are feeling this way.

It is very hard because as tela said when its happens you feel like no one else feels this way, and can make you feel alone.

i definitely understand the feeling "weird" feeling.

I still have a long way to go but I went through a few months around this time last year when every day - every hour - was a struggle. leaving the house was terrifying, being home alone was terrifying.

my anxiety is not gone but is so much better than those few dark months. it seems like most of the ongoing, unrelenting moment-to moment anxiety has faded, but I still get panic attacks, which as you describe, seem to come out of nowhere - or under certain circumstances.

just wanted to let you know you are not alone, and you will get through this. it will pass.

i find it very hopeful that there are long-time members here in the forum that have gone through everything we are going through and lived to tell the tale - and even those who no longer have anxiety or panic.
Posted 3/9/2015 3:44 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Rowan and welcome!

We are glad that you have joined us! I hope that you find the help through support that I know I have here at HW.:)

There are times in our journey, where it may seem as if we have gone backwards in our recovery...but anxiety just tends to come and go...sometimes without a discernable trigger.

It is now that you can re-visit your CBT exercises and pick up some new coping skills as well for help!

We have both in our Resources here! Check out the link below, and see what looks most helpful for you. Practicing these type of skills daily will hopefully see you getting back on track soon.

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=104206


Talking with your doctor about other treatment options if you continue to be challenged would be a consideration as well.

...but keep on posting with us, and we will be cheering you on...sharing with others who understand in a very healing step in and of itself!!

Talk to you soon,

Scaredy Cat

Posted 3/9/2015 4:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Rowan. We're glad you're here and are always ready to lend and "ear" or support when needed. I can also totally relate to what you're feeling. Anxiety knows no bounds, no time frame, no gender, no age. It just does its thing which can feel so frustrating when you actually feel good for awhile then BOOM... Hello, I'm back! You do just feel "weird" and may feel like the doctor just looks at you and thinks "I need more than that to help you". I've been through it with my doctor too. The good thing is that once we have discovered some coping mechanisms that help, we can beat it and feel stronger. Those days in that dark place are so scary and can feel like eternity. But they will pass and things do get better. We are all here for you and happy to support you whenever you need us. You aren't alone!
Posted 3/9/2015 5:28 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Rowan

Welcome to the forum I am pleased you have found us you will get good support here.

Sorry to hear you have had a setback and your anxiety is bad again this can happen and I am currently going through a setback myself. What you need to tell yourself is that you have got through it before so you can do it again. Have a look at your CBT notes and put back in place the same plan as you had the last time.

I hope you feel better soon

Hibee
Posted 3/9/2015 9:32 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks so much for everyone's lovely and more importantly comforting comments, I already feel such relief in everyone saying I'm not alone, maybe I can stop thinking I'm going mad! Today has been ok, not the best but ok, so I'll take that. Here's to the start of better days and with the help of this sites fantastic support x ☺️
Posted 3/10/2015 2:47 AM (GMT 0)
Yes...I'll cheers to that!! Keep posting...the support here has helped me more than I can say! ;)

It is all about sharing our common concerns, challenges and victories...we hope you stick around!

Talk soon,

S.C.
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