This agoraphobic has to go to a family event tonight.

Oh Deborah, I feel so sorry for you. I am already stressing about Easter Day with my family. Everyone of them will be there...cousins and all. And yes...the alcohol thing too.....
Just take it moment by moment. This is something you just have to do (or you could fake an illness as I have done many times). If you are like me, I always wish I could be excited and enjoy my family like they all do....but I just can't. It brings me to tears each time. What I have found helpful is to keep taking little breaks and step outside for some fresh air and kind of re-group myself. This helps break up the intensity of the event. Try to do this from time to time. Go out by yourself and take some deep breaths and tell yourself you are not like them but they are your family and want to be there for them.
Hope this helps.
Good luck!

When I was married to my ex, they always had to have alcohol at every function and it drove me nuts, even though I drank at the time I didn't drink alot and they always ended up smashed falling down drunk. So I understand how you feel.

I also have agoraphobic although I'm getting better at going out. I have no problem going to the store, going to therapy gives me anxiety but I still don't have much problem going out. I also go out just about every weekend with one of my boys to thrift stores, it is nice to have someone with me, helps alot. other then that I don't leave the house.

I did have to go to a baby shower last weekend, my mom was suppose to go too but she wasn't feeling well and bailed. There was too many people there, half I didn't know or don't know well and it was uncomfortable. It was too hot inside, so I kept going outside to smoke and to get away from everyone. I ended up winning both games we played, lol. It turned out not to be so bad, but there was no alcohol.

I hope you end up having a good time, I agree with lindamine and taking breaks to go outside to take a few deep breathes would help you get thru it. Try not to think the worse.

D.S.

Understood...you have to do what is best for you at the moment...but if you change your mind...

...I remember one of the last times you went, and it was not nearly as rough as you anticipated...and you actually ended up having a pretty okay time?

Wishing you the best in whatever you decide!

With understanding and support,

S.C.

Hi Deb

How did your husband react? What is his feeling about the family over-drinking?
Shame on mom who has never walked in your shoes judging you. Have you not for 30 years done everything you possibly could to do what was right for him? You know what's best. I feel for you. You are in my prayers. Hang in there.

Thanks for the nice comments and support.  I'm hoping that today I feel better about things.

D.S.,

I have a friend who made the same decision for her disabled son a few years back.

He has been so happy with the new social life, activities and stimulation that he did not have at home previously.

Even though my friend was a great mom and caregiver...a group situation is what really helped this young man to blossom.;)

Have peace with your decision, and don't let anyone else's comments or opinons affect you...it is not their place to say anything.

With support!

S.C.

Deborah,
In the same boat. Have to attend my best friends birthday dinner. Couldn't come up with any valid excuses :P. WE CAN DO THIS!