new here...

Ive been on the RA forums but wanted to post here for a little advice.

Heres my story. I just graduated college, moved to a new state, and started a new job, my first 'real' job. Ive always had a little bit of underlying unease going on but managed it fine. But now its just getting out of control. I'm constantly worrying about if I did everything I needed to, planning what needs to be done tomorrow, worrying about work things in general and then worrying that my worrying is showing outwardly and affecting my performance. Sometimes I just feel panicky for no reason at all and its hard to sleep. My brother died last year, unexpectedly, and I'm expecting that as I get closer to my birthday (I'm turning the age he was when he died) and the anniversary, that it all will get worse. I do not want to take meds but Im not much of a talker either. Definitely not a fan of the ssris. Ive taken cymbalta for fibro before and it just makes me feel not like myself. Plus they're hideously expensive. So I'm just looking for some advice on other options. I'm planning to make an appointment with my pcp and go from there.

Hi Calen and welcome to the A/P,
I too am sorry to hear of your loss of your brother, and the recent anxiety that is causing issues for you.
It is not hard to see a conection between these things...along with the added stressors of a new home, job, ect...
You have been through a lot in the last year. Anxiety is going to naturally be a part of the equation...
...still when it gets to the point that it is affecting your quality of life, and holding you back from doing what you need and want to do...then you are wise to seek help.
Hibee has advised you well...so I am just going to add the link to our Resources, and one other idea.
If you don't care to seek one-on-one counseling, I suggest going to your library, and checking out all of the books on anxiety management you can find. Look through them and copy the sections that look pertinant/helpful to you.
I did this and essentially custom made my own self-help program!
I also suggest buying at least one CBT workbook. (off of Amazon for example) You need to purchase this so that you can write in it, and complete the necessary exercises.

Here is that Resource link....check out all of the suggested coping skills...they really work if practiced daily.

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=104206
Keep posting with us if you find it helpful...we understand, care and support is key!!

Best wishes!
Scaredy Cat

Calen,

First of all congratulations on your achievement of graduating and finding employment! That is such a huge step, especially moving to another state. I am proud of you for taking on something so big. Very brave!

I cannot identify with losing a sibling as I've never been there before. I have a twin sister who is my best friend. My world would fall apart if I lost her. I'm so sorry you have to go through the loss of a loved one.

My grandma lost her husband five years ago and she attends a bereavement group every week. She doesn't talk much (she's very shy) but listening to people who are going through the same thing is helpful. Maybe they have a similar resource in your area? That way maybe you can alleviate some of your anxiety and find new friends since you're in a new area :)

Ask your PCP about natural options! Mine is very good about alternative approaches... and if you and your doctor don't jive with the way you view treatment seek another one.

Hope you feel better! I just graduated college and am job searching so I feel connected to you in a way.

Hi Calen

I am pleased that you have seen your pcp and agreed an action plan that's good news and your first steps towards recovery.

I am on Prozac 60mg and have found it to be a good medication I hope it works well for you. It can be a difficult time starting up on medication and unfortunately it's the norm for your to feel a little worse for a few days until your body gets used to the medication but if things don't start to improve it's important to let your doctor know.

It's also good that you are going to see a counsellor as it is that which I feel will be very beneficial for you so hope that goes well for you keep us posted.

hibee

Hi ya'll just a little update. I'm up to 20mg prozac and it's going well. No side effects, feeling less of that constant little panic. I made it through my birthday with no major trauma.

Next hurdle is mother's day and first anniversary of my bros death within like a week of each other. But I'm more confident that I can manage.

Still haven't taken that plunge with a counselor yet. I'm not convinced it will help.

Also adding to the stress is that I'm suddenly being told that I don't really have ra after all. Or well I do but on top of it I probably have mixed connective tissue disease which would be ra + lupus + scleroderma + myositis. Just when I was starting to figure out how i was going to manage in the future if my hands got worse. As a musician and rn this is particularly difficult. The s word (scleroderma) scares me but I guess this isn't really the forum to muse about that.

Happy thoughts to you all.

Hi Calen,

Glad to hear that things are going well for you in general. Good job on getting up to your theraputic dose of meds. I hope things continue to improve...and that you feel your best very soon!

Best wishes on the upcoming challenges and meaningful dates on the calender. Many healing thoughts and prayers for you!

Yes...keep an open mind as far as therapy goes...it helped me more than I can say! It is however a personal choice...

As far as finding old threads...if you click on you screen name...it will take you to a page with your last 10 or so posts. ( this can be done for anyone actually...just click on their screen name)

If you need something beyond what this page shows...you may need to do a 'Search'. Do this by hitting the search button in the toolbar, and inputting key words.

Continued peace and progress be yours, and keep posting!

S.C

Hi Calen:
Just wanted to tell you that you are not alone. I lost my brother 6 years ago and have recently discovered that I never allowed myself to properly grieve, because I felt the need to be there for my parents and put my feelings away. Postponing those feelings made everything worse and I started getting panick attacks a couple of years after.

Talking will surely help, so try to consider it.

I hope you are feeling better.

Hi Calen,

Anniversaries of when we lost loved ones if so hard. I am sorry that you are getting feelings of increased anxiety. Know that this is expected and part of the grieving process that you are still going through.

I hope that you and your mom can be a comfort to each other during this time.

How wonderful of you to go and spend time with her now!

Use your Rx as needed, and really rely on your coping skills during this time.

Meditation, stress relieving exercises, journaling, ect...are all great, and links for such can be found in our Resources if you need some refreshing on these techniques.

Keep posting with us. We care, understand and support is key.

S.C.

Not yet. I have a tentative sjogrens diagnosis but my labs are essentially normal and the rheumy seems fine treating me just based on symptoms. I go back in a few weeks and hope to get something more concrete. But my xrays were negative which means despite all the pain in my hands, the joints aren't being destroyed and i don't actually have ra as I was originally diagnosed. So yay