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On the brink of good things?

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Posted 5/11/2015 6:14 PM (GMT 0)
All,

Well, I was just in the Crohn's forum and was told blood work isn't enough. I need a scope and I tend to agree. That's kind of a bummer, but I'm about due for one anyway. It's also time to drop 30 pounds. Pants are getting tighter.

I did a lot of cleaning this weekend. While I'm sore, it was nice to finish that task.

My psychologist says my bouts of anger could mean I am coming out of my depression. Is anyone else familiar with the correlation of the two?

I have many concerts to attend this summer. I'm going to California in October no matter what because I deserve it.

Pop passed in 2013 and still has no headstone. I feel as if Ma and I have disrespected him. That will be taken care of this month. It boggles the mind why the funeral director didn't cover that.

I just feel something good is coming soon. Do dudes have intuition?
Posted 5/11/2015 7:02 PM (GMT 0)
I could see anger as a sign your coming out of your depression as you are showing a sign of emotion and acute at that. IMO more logical question to ask are you feeling more like yourself?
Posted 5/11/2015 9:18 PM (GMT 0)
I'm not even sure who I am.
Posted 5/11/2015 9:24 PM (GMT 0)
I'm happy things are working out for you, and glad to hear dad is finally getting a headstone, I'm sure that will be one thing you've worried about and good for taking care of it.

Keep your head up, something is bound to happen good for you, I just know it. :)
Posted 5/12/2015 1:13 AM (GMT 0)
Dudes can have some great intuition. It sounds like you've hit a turning point in your life. Love that you're coming to Cali-- you do deserve it
Posted 5/12/2015 1:20 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Smooth,

I hope that all goes smoothly in the last step to honoring your dad. You did so in many ways while he was here...and now you are going to get to see things put to right with his resting place. This is no doubt going to bring up many and mixed emotions. Let them come, and know that taking this step is going to be carthartic.

This along with the feelings of optimism and resurfacing of feelings are all good things, that I do think are heralding a change in the postive direction for you!

With hope and encouragement.:)

S.C.
Posted 5/13/2015 5:43 PM (GMT 0)
Lisa, thanks. I feel worse about Pop's headstone now because I do not even have to go down there to have it done. The funeral home can handle it. Why in blazes wouldn't they tell me that? I try not to question women as they're always right, so there has to be something good coming down the pike!

Sophie, hi, sweetheart. Thank you for all that. You're getting squeezed in October. I love hugs. :)

SC, I tried. I never really caused him too much trouble. I cried a lot Sunday. He was too beautiful for this ugly ol world anyway. Most people miss his laugh. I'm battling my tears now. I won't ever get over it, but every day, I get closer to him as we are all mortal. I'm just very ashamed of many things. It's taken me this long to handle the headstone. I didn't give him the grandchildren he deserved. That one hurts the most. I talked to him about it and he understood. I'm sure he wanted them, but I am just no good with women. I also had to be rational. Having a kid just to have one is a poor reason. It is a lifetime commitment. He knew it just wasn't meant to be yet. I can't even take care of me.

All I want is to be a little happy and for people to want me around. I haven't always made that easy.

Love you all.
Posted 5/13/2015 6:24 PM (GMT 0)
Smooth,

As a parent of a young adult...I can tell you this:

I first and foremost want her to be a good, kind, healthy and happy person.

Grandkids will simply a bonus...

You did your dad proud...and continue to do so.:)

S.C.
Posted 5/13/2015 7:17 PM (GMT 0)
I love the love that you I'd and still have for your father. You are a wonderful man and I am sure he is so proud of you.

If my son is as kind and compassionate as you are when he grows up, I will call that a giant success.

Hugs!
Posted 5/13/2015 10:05 PM (GMT 0)
John,
You're a spectacular human being. I agree with Park. If I raise a son that's half as good as you are I will have succeeded as a parent. Also I'm showing you around Cali when you're here.
Xoxoxox love you
Posted 5/14/2015 9:40 AM (GMT 0)
john, your a good bloke.
Posted 5/14/2015 5:36 PM (GMT 0)
Scaredy, thank you. I am sure he wanted the same for me. Recently, I found pics of him with his sister's grandchild when he was really little and Pop was beaming, so it breaks my heart a little. I'm glad I got to talk to him about it. Was he sparing my feelings? I don't know.

Megan, I have never really considered myself a success, but giving it some thought, it can be measured in different ways. I hope your son exceeds me by leaps and bounds. Engrain these things in him early... have him learn Spanish. Children are sponges. When he gets to school, tell him he will need help sometimes and sometimes he will provide the help. My departed friend Jeremy struggled with academia, but he was an incredible carpenter. Have him try sports. This will show him not being the best is okay and there will always be someone better. That in itself is a good thing. It prevents complacency.

...to be continued.
Posted 5/14/2015 9:34 PM (GMT 0)
Sophie, *blush* ...love you, too. Can't wait!

HT, thanks. Likewise. :)
Posted 5/15/2015 2:32 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Smooth, for whatever reason it took me and my mom almost 2 years to get a headstone on my Dads grave. Maybe I felt a little bit bad about that but in the end it's just a stone. I love my Dad dearly, I think of him and miss him every day, I carry his memory close to my heart. That's what's important!!!!!! Let go of the baggage, the would ofs, should ofs, and move forward!!! I'm sure in the end all your Dad would want for you is happiness!!!
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