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Posted 5/26/2015 8:18 PM (GMT 0)
The world feels like it's closing in on me. My husband controls the money, my son is abusive to me, my mother and sister don't come see me and talk behind my back, my niece hates me and on and on and on..... All I do is stay home and care for my son, I don't socialize have no friends, I have noone to go to when I'm in pain. I have been crying about my bil ignoring me and my sister, and today my husband starts yelling at me for spending money out of the checking account, which is my money to, we are talking $60. We make over $100, 000 a year. He says that I'm the reason he works so much and I need meds etc....I feel like I'm being bullied. I lost my cat yesterday she suddenly died, I'm having a ruff time and have nobody to talk to. Im in a very dark place right now

*I had to edit your title to keep in line with the forum rules*

Post Edited By Moderator (Scaredy Cat) : 5/26/2015 2:22:56 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/26/2015 8:23 PM (GMT 0)
OH Deb, I'm so sorry you are in a hard place right now. Please know that we are here for you now and always. I'm sorry your husband is being a bully, you have every right to spend money and with the amount of money you make a year, 60 bucks is peanuts and he shouldn't be throwing a fit over it. Perhaps something else is bothering him and he is just nit picking instead of saying what is really wrong. I don't know just trying to think of things.

Please know my email is always open for you, just click my name to go to my profile and my email is there. Also remember we can't talk about self harm here per the rules, so email me and we can discuss what's going on. :) I would be your friend in a heart beat, heck I am your friend now but if I was there we could go do some fun things, :).

You need a outlet, you need to find something you enjoy doing besides taking care of your son 24/7. Is there any local groups, maybe a craft group, sewing group, church group or something you would enjoy doing if even for a hour a week?
Posted 5/26/2015 8:24 PM (GMT 0)
D.S.

Due to your original title post...I would be remiss in not posting this information:

Crisis Information
If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately.

If you believe you may be suicidal, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) immediately, or consult their website at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. They are available 24/7 for anyone in suicidal crisis in the United States.

S.C.
Posted 5/26/2015 8:35 PM (GMT 0)
Now...

Hopefully that was just a formality, and you were just having a vent...

I too have times when it all piles up on top at once...and it can be so overwhelming!

However, I will let you in on a little secret...one that has changed how I view unpleasant interactions with people so very much...

People can only take advantage of us, or get under our skin if we give them permission to do so.

That is a powerful realization!

For example, if my husband said what yours said to you in regards to the cost of meds...he would be saying his next words from a hospital bed...

...okay not really, but you get the idea...

I simply do not allow the words of others to affect me, because I shut it down and self advocate. This was not originally in my nature...it is a skill I had to learn.

I would encourage you to stand firm...speak up to the things you need to...and let go of the things you can't control.

You are an amazing person, who gives of herself so constantly...

...you need to give good gifts to YOU as well!!

With support and encouragement,

S.C.
Posted 5/26/2015 8:42 PM (GMT 0)
Deb, I'm so very sorry you are feeling so lost. No one deserves to be abused or bullied. I hope you will look for someone to help you advocate for yourself, and start healing whatever issues have caused so many strained relationships in your life.

You have to have at least one person you can turn to. Do take AngelLisa's advice about finding a church group or some sort of support system. People who can help you find your strength. People who will be there for you. You have to find your self value if you ever want others to value you.

I wish the best for you.
Posted 5/27/2015 5:24 AM (GMT 0)
Hello, deborahscinder! I’m so sorry you’re in this situation…so much pain in your words. Have you been able to talk to your husband openly about how you feel? It might also be helpful to get in touch with a trusted adult. I will be praying for you, asking God to fill you with His wisdom and comfort as you figure out what to do. Hang in there, friend! Blessings and hugs to you! mindovermatter  
Posted 5/27/2015 6:00 AM (GMT 0)
Deb I'm sorry you are having a hard time. But remember you always have someone to talk to. GOD. Turn all you problems over to him ask him to lead you in the direction he wonts you to go. He will be there any time you need him. Just pray to him and have faith. It will get better.
Psalms. 34:18. The LORD is near to the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit.






All Glory to GOD
Posted 5/27/2015 8:54 AM (GMT 0)
Deborah I am so sorry to hear you are in a crisis. But like all, this one is also temporary.
I've always believed that you are a very strong woman and a fantastic mother. You will definitely find a way out.

Is there really no one you can talk about your situation? Of course it's easy for us to just give advice but, if I were you I would definitely raise my voice and talk to those people honestly about how I feel.
I agree with what others said above, also S.C. is very right. If these people give you nothing but pain (except your son because you know you need to help him) then why the heck are you keeping them in your life? (sorry no offense, I just put myself in your place for a second)

Maybe search for a work opportunity? Then maybe you can afford care help for your son. Then you won't need your "husband's" money.

I am thinking about you, please don't give up <3
Posted 5/27/2015 12:04 PM (GMT 0)
sorry to hear your having a rough time.. Maybe you should look for a part time job.. then you would have your OWN money and also maybe meet some friends and get away from the house for awhile.. Even if you dont need the money per say...It will still be nice to get out of the house and meet people....

Post Edited (Stormlover712) : 5/27/2015 6:09:35 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/27/2015 1:32 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Deb. Hope things are better for you today. Please check in.
Posted 5/27/2015 2:38 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Deb,

I hope you are feeling better today. I suggest you make a step by step plan of what's important and do it, don't dwell on things you can't change. Talk to the people that are causing you anxiety and let them know what's happening, I know some people are not understanding of person with anxiety disorders.
Posted 5/27/2015 4:06 PM (GMT 0)
D.S.

Please check in with us! We are concerned for you.

Let us know how you are doing...for better (hopefully!)...or not, so we can support you in either circumstance, okay?

Hugs and encouragement!

S.C.
Posted 5/27/2015 4:15 PM (GMT 0)
bump
Posted 5/27/2015 6:00 PM (GMT 0)
Deb???????? Please check in with us, we are concerned. :) Many hugs to you.
Posted 5/28/2015 3:33 AM (GMT 0)
Deborah, please let us know if you are alright, Peace

Larry ***
Posted 5/28/2015 4:08 AM (GMT 0)
Deborah,
Sorry you feel like you're in such a bad place. We are ALWAYS here for you. Any time of day or night. This is a community that cares so deeply about you, and will not let you fall.
Let us know that you are okay.
Posted 5/28/2015 5:46 AM (GMT 0)
I hope you find the strength to pull your self out of these feelings and find healing ..
Hope all is well God bless you !
Posted 5/28/2015 4:32 PM (GMT 0)
Deb,

Please check in...

...you don't have to post anything other than an 'I'm okay' if you don't feel like talking...

Just please check it as we are concerned.

S.C.
Posted 5/29/2015 3:50 AM (GMT 0)
Deborah, Please! "We really care". Peace

Larry ***
Posted 5/29/2015 12:35 PM (GMT 0)
Im sorry I didnt check in sooner, thanks for all your support. I confronted my sister about her husband and she said he was just crabby? I'm dropping it, you guys are right I can't change the way people are. I prayed hard and my husband apologized. I was in a deep dark place and all the crying and pain left me without any energy. I feel much better, and again want to thank you all for your support it means so much. I love this site, it has helped me so much.
Posted 5/29/2015 1:03 PM (GMT 0)
I'm so happy to hear from you. Thank you for checking in. Everyone needs to take some time to recover from such an upsetting set of circumstances.

Definitely mentally & physically draining. ((((hugs))))
Posted 5/29/2015 2:44 PM (GMT 0)
Oh Deb,Thank you for checking in I was so worried about you, just my nature to worry. I'm happy you are feeling better. Keep on chugging girlfriend. :)
Posted 5/29/2015 5:29 PM (GMT 0)
We can sometimes be a pain in the ***** Deborah but keep in mind we do Love You! Peace

Larry ***
Posted 5/29/2015 9:42 PM (GMT 0)
Glad to hear you are feeling better, Deb!
We are all here to support you!
Posted 5/29/2015 10:18 PM (GMT 0)
thanks so much
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