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Just keep Swimming, just keep swimming

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 7/4/2015 10:16 PM (GMT 0)
Just keep swimming -- it's what I've started to tell myself when my the scary thoughts start to consume me and my anxiety takes over.

Sometimes it works because all I can picture is Dory the fish from Finding Nemo flouncing around in the happiest tone of voice possible. Sometimes I just have to keep repeating it.

Being diagnosed with GERD has literally turned my life upside down and my concerns have been focused on my heart. I think I have mentioned this in other posts, but I have been to the ER so many times in the last 6 months for chest Xrays, ECGs, being hooked up to heart monitors and 4 day heart holters and all the blood work done for the heart. Everything comes back normal. This is good and normally when my GERD acts up, logically I know this, but the anxiety part of me takes over.

Normally in a panic attack, or just on a regular day, my left arm can get numb or hurts as well; but over the last week I've eperienced something brand new -- had a constant sore upper back and pain that radiates down my RIGHT arm? Why the switch? Why does my body have to play games on me??? Is something wrong that doctors aren't catching?? Or is it GERD??

I was at the ER last night due to a panic attack and ativan wasn't helping. So they did an ECG and that was fine. I explained my upper back pain and right arm pain and nothing was done and he had no concerns. My gallbladder was checked in December and came back normal -- but I did ask if it could be gallbladder changes or something like that and he gave me a prescription for more ativan and told me also to start taking cipralex....

Sometimes I just feel like I am crazy....
Posted 7/5/2015 1:03 AM (GMT 0)

S.S.,

Sorry to hear the anxiety and symptoms are challenging you at the moment.:(  Rest assured that with progress...therapy, self-help, and support here, things will get better.

For now, here are some helpful links: 

Health Anxiety - A Self Help Guide:

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/hypochondria/pages/introduction.aspx

Helping health Anxiety

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_id=53

Health Anxiety- The Super Scanner

http://www.get.gg/docs/SuperScanner.pdf

12 Minute Meditation Focused on Relieving Physical Symptoms

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2_UfFIszkY

Hope you are feeling some relief soon!

S.C.


Posted 7/5/2015 1:50 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks. It's a terrible thing to have your mind play tricks on you and presumably manifest or amplify physical symptoms.

I'll review the links you posted for me. Thanks so much.
Posted 7/5/2015 2:10 AM (GMT 0)
Yes, it is astonishing what anxiety can do to us in terms of physical symptoms...but the body and mind are in much closer connection than most of us realize!

The good news is that we can use our minds to reverse the anxiety effects through use of the above type of skills.:)

I do hope they help...

S.C.
Posted 7/5/2015 4:18 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry to hear you're struggling! But I'm glad everything checked out OK!!👍. Anxiety can cause so many physical problems! Trust me I know! You can zero in to one specific part of your body and feel all sorts of 'abnormal' things. Over the years, the pains I've had come and go that have turned out to be nothing! To to relax and be comforted in the knowledge that all your tests came back fine!
Posted 7/5/2015 11:45 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry to hear of all your anxiety troubles. I love your mantra..."just keep swimming" perfect for anxiety sufferers. This is very much like mindfullness meditations. Alot of what is found on our resource page is designed just like this. Positive reinforcement for ourselves.

Many of us here have had our fair share of trips to the ER with strange symptoms and sure we were dying. It's horrible. How long have you been suffering with anxiety? Are you new with this??

Anyhow, I'm glad you found us. This is the right place to be. It's a wonderful place to come and vent and most important to me-is getting validated for my anxiety. My family doesn't support me much in my struggle. How is it for you? Do you get support? How about medical support? Are you able to attend therapy? I know, I'm sorry , alot of questions. Just want to know how I can support you.

Hang in there and just keep swimming.....
Linda
Posted 7/6/2015 12:22 AM (GMT 0)
My muscles like to tighten up, and cause me to have pain in my neck and down my arms. That really stinks.

I agree that your mantra is awesome. Sometimes that's all we can do.
Posted 7/6/2015 12:52 AM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone.

Thanks for your replies. I really do appreciate them. They help me feel a little less alone when I often do feel alone.

My boyfriend has been very supportive through all this. My family on the other hand thinks they are helping, but with their opinions and judgements, ultimately just creates more anxiety feelings for me. For example, I had started an online blog to express myself and just document some things and well, that came back to bite me with opinions of how I should tailor my writings and how I should care about what other people would think of me.

Anyway...my boyfriend has been supportive and I am grateful for that. I live in small town Canada where mental health help is a long wait -- so I haven't been able to attend any therapy other than one visit at the ER where the doctor actually brought me a psychiatrist. I do like going for walks and colouring and drawing though.

The scary part about this all is how much weight I've lost since being diagnosed with GERD and becoming anxious. I've always been small to begin with and I'm now starting to lose muscle mass. I just can't seem to get enough food in me no matter how much I try. I swear there's more happening in my GI tract that what has been diagnosed so far -- but again that could be my anxiety talking.

I haven't had the best help on the medical side of it as well. Basically I think with every physical symptom I talk about - they just smile and nod; humour me for a moment and send me on my way.

Tonight, I attempted to eat a little more than I've been able to and now the right side of my abdomen beside my belly button is pinching -- I just need to vent this part. Makes me want to run to the ER again. I hate Google and I hate my need to have to look everything up.

In the meantime, to everyone -- just keep swimming... it'll be okay.
Posted 7/6/2015 3:42 AM (GMT 0)
S.S.,

Don't google or look anything else up...it just leads to more questions and anxiety. I honestly don't think anyone has ever googled a symptom and felt relief or enlightenment afterward!!

That pinched feeling is surely just the feeling of being full...which is somewhat new to you again after not being able to eat much...it will pass.:)

Do some coping skills and try to stay in a calm and peaceful place.

S.C.
Posted 7/6/2015 3:58 AM (GMT 0)
Logically I know Google is bad for me...but it's like so weird obsession or addiction...that somewhere I will find something that will make me feel better. I have these memories as a kid as well.of looking everything up in my parents' medical encyclopedia before the internet existed. Unfortunately, mental health was never acknowledged or talked about back then.

And yes...the more I start eating, the more new feelings I get. Now try to tell my mind that :-)

I appreciate this space to vent, talk it out and share. It means a lot.to me. Keep on swimming.
Posted 7/6/2015 4:23 AM (GMT 0)
Hi S.S

I love your term keep on swimming so much because right now I feel the phrase "time heals all" is so so applicable. I don't know how many times I have doubted time and I guess it's normal and Im gonna doubt it some time again but no matter how hard it is it ALWAYS gets easier with time. We may not see it now but we will find the answers. Keep swimming!

P.s I'm losing weight because of my anxiety issues too and it's bothering me quite a lot since I'm already super skinny to begin with and always had body image issues regarding weight n being skinny. Sigh :/
Posted 7/6/2015 2:02 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Breathenrelax,

Thanks for your reply! Losing weight is incredibly unnerving especially when you're small to begin with. I've weighed between 125-130lbs all my life and yesterday when I stepped on the scale, I am 113lbs -- SCARY.

I can't seem to absorb food and my massage therapist said I am starting to lose muscle mass as well.

I try so hard to eat. I want to eat. I want to eat a big slice of pizza -- but I physically can't. It would make me sick.

If you have any tips - let me know!

Have a good day!
Posted 7/6/2015 5:00 PM (GMT 0)
S.S.,'

Have you tried adding in Ensure or Boost to your diet? If you can drink 2 or even 3 of these a day...in addition to whatever solids you can tolerate...you will be getting needed nutrients, protein and calories.

They are pricey, but maybe you can buy them in bulk at a warehouse store for a discount...and it will be worth it for your overall health.

It won't be forever either...you will make progress with both the GERD and the anxiety, and be back to feeling like eating regularly again soon.:)

S.C.
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