Severe health anxiety & vision issues - please help!

Hi everyone, I'm new here. I'm at the lowest point I've ever been in with my anxiety & I'm desperate for someone to relate to. I'll try to give a brief summary so as not to ramble on too much. Prior to May, I was not suffering from any anxiety problems. I have general anxiety disorder, social anxiety, occasional panic attacks, etc. The typical anxiety sufferer. But most of the time I'm ok. Not great, never totally happy & relaxed like "normal" people but I do well, have a job & lots of friends, etc. So before May of this year, everything was pretty much ok. Then I felt like I started to notice some vision changes. I wasn't worried. I hadn't been to an eye doctor in 10 years but still, I assumed I just needed glasses. I resolved that I would make an appt. soon & went about my day. Then one afternoon I noticed the Blue Field Entoptic Phenomenon while looking out of a window. I didn't know what it was or that it was normal. I got very scared. That was the trigger that started me focusing on my eyes 24/7. I started to notice all my floaters ALL the time (whereas they hadn't been bothering me) & new floaters I'd never seen before. I saw some blue dots & silver sparkles in my vision too. This was all taking place from Mid-May to late June. Finally, in late June, I went to the eye doctor.

The doctor said my eyes were healthy except for cataracts. I was floored. I'm in my 30's & developing cataracts? He told me that since I took prednisone as a child that it almost always causes cataracts later in life. Well, ok then. I was upset of course but if you can believe it, that wasn't the most upsetting to me at that point. It was me constantly seeing floaters & other visual disturbances. A few weeks later, after feeling so anxious I could barely function, my eye doctor sent me to an ophthalmologist for a second opinion. He was very flippant but looked in my eyes & took some x-rays of my retinas & told me I was fine & to just put the floaters out of my mind. That would make a normal person feel better but it did not help me. I spend every day looking up eye conditions & reading about eye problems. I've convinced myself I have every problem in the book. Sometimes I'm so upset, I can't even read (the words on the computer will vibrate or shimmer). I'm afraid to read, I'm afraid to go outside during the day (floaters), I'm afraid to go outside at night (cataracts give me the halo effect with lights), I'm afraid to look around because I've convinced myself I have problems with afterimages, shaky vision, you name it. It's so bad right now that my vision flickers a lot during the day (on & off). I wake up with a brick in my stomach, I shake, my blood pressure is high...

How do I make this stop? I'm desperate to make this stop. And even if I can convince myself that this is mostly anxiety related - I then have to deal with the fact that I'll need cataract surgery in both eyes in the next year or two because it's getting harder to see at night. That terrifies me & triggers my anxiety.

I've never been like this before. I've been anxious or upset. I've had terrible social anxiety & general worries and depression. But never have I felt this bad or this scared.

I apologize in advance for how negative this post sounds. I'm just in a state of terror this morning!

Any advice or words of wisdom? Does this type of health anxiety eventually ease up? Am I giving myself all of these visual problems by obsessing over my vision?

Thank you...

Thanks for the response. I know I sound "crazy" in my post - I'm just having a bad day. I've made my anxiety all about my vision & I'm literally scared to read a book, go outside, look towards the sky, watch TV, drive at night, etc. I'm convinced I'm going blind. I'm so uncomfortable looking at anything right now! I keep telling myself that I'm doing this TO myself but you know how it is when you're in the grips of anxiety, you can't reason with your own mind.

I have an appt. for a physical with my GP in two weeks & I've been seeing a therapist once a month. My health insurance is awful so I can't afford too much. But I'm trying to help myself. I've also been exercising, eating healthy & drinking lots of water.

Hi PH and welcome!

I am really sorry to hear of this recent anxiety troubling you. Health anxiety can be a challenging adversary...and many of us here deal with this fear, so don't feel alone. This issues differ (heart concerns, various diseases, fears of dying, ect.) but the issue is basically the same...worry about our health in some form.

It is great to hear that you are being pro-active in getting the help that you need! As DS mentioned, you are doing all the right things...so feel good about that.:)

I was going to suggest talking with someone regarding your anxiety...but I see in your last post that you are talking with a therapist. This is good! Have you been able to directly address your health fears with him/her? Are you working on CBT, or other methods to diffuse your anxiety regarding your vision/symptoms?

In our Resources, we have great self help material that could supplement what you are doing in therapy. You'll find this at the top of the main forum page. We have stress lowering coping skills to use for overall anxiety management...

...as well as specific health anxiety self help work that is very effective if practiced daily.

Check this out, and get started today if you like! If you would like me to post direct links for any of the help I mentioned...just say the word, and I will be happy to do so for you.:)

Wishing you the best in your recovery journey. You've found a great place for understanding and support...so post with us anytime, okay? :)

Scaredy Cat

Deborah,

Thanks as well for your response. Yes, I think if something was terribly wrong with my eyes, the doctors would have seen it. My optometrist was much more thorough than the ophthalmologist but I'm sure any major issues would have been obvious. The anxiety then was redirected into thinking I have a neurological problem with my vision (which eye doctors would not be able to see) & since thinking that, I swear my vision has started flickering & doing other weird things.

Living like this is so exhausting. :(

Hibee,

Thank you. Could you point me in the direction of CBT exercises for health anxiety? CBT helped me overcome my social anxiety but I'm not sure what I should be doing specifically for health anxiety as I've never had this happen to me before.

So grateful for you guys today.

Hello :)

I know how you feel with having vision problems and anxiety, for the past few months I've been experiencing ghosting (double vision), blurred vision, eye fatigue, after images, halos, blue dots, and general eye problems. I have been going to an optometrist who also specializes in glaucoma and she's ran about every test she can to figure out what's going on. We've changed lense prescriptions twice because she said my astigmatisms have changed. She did the orb scan and said everything looked normal, the only thing that came up was from a topography that said I've got some type of problem with the top part of my eyes. What was strange is even with the new lenses and keeping my eyes hydrated I still had some days where my ghosting vision was worse. I have noticed however that my vision has gotten a little better since starting lexapro. Not gone, but better.
So who knows..
In any case I assure you I know how frustrating it is not to be able to see correctly. It has been one of the most bothersome things I've ever put up with.

Thank you, guys. I appreciate the responses.

I feel crazy right now. I can't tell if something I'm experiencing is my cataracts, my anxiety or if there's something else wrong with me. I'm in the US so going to a bunch of doctors is not an option. The medical bills would be outrageous.

I feel so weird lately because I'm afraid to see. I'm afraid to look at things. I'm trying to avoid pretty much everything so I can avoid seeing weird things in my vision. This makes it impossible to have a normal day. I look at other people, outside or in my office, and they are happy & all I can think is that they can see normally & I can't.

I just want to feel like myself again.

I know how you feel, I went through a period where I was obsessed with my heart, I would think about it constantly because I had noticed it was skipping beats. It didn't help that my heart rate was actually too fast and hard because I had been eating too much salt, but at the time I didn't know this and thought something was seriously wrong.

It took me a long time to get over it and stop thinking about it, but it did eventually happen. It takes time and trying to avoid looking up information about things is something to avoid as it keeps your attention on it. Try making a weekly plan of some things you would normally do during the week. It can be as simple as read the paper or listen to music. Now try and do them, you won't be able to concentrate but that's fine, just gently bring your attention back to the task when you notice your mind wandering. You can do something like read out loud to help keep your focus, or sing along with the music. It's important to keep trying these things and get back to some normalcy. It will all feel forced at first but with time, it will get easier and easier.

Thanks for sharing, Andy. How many months was it until you finally start to feel better? I know everyone is different, I'm just curious. It's been four months for me, although the extreme anxiety didn't start until the end of June, so about three months total. I want to believe it's going to ease up, but it's scary. I tend to think I'm doing most of this to myself but my symptoms are real (in the sense that I really am seeing tons of floaters, flickering, etc.) but I think it's only because I'm so focused on my vision right now. I literally can't think of anything else.

Tela, thanks for sharing as well. I'm very sorry to hear that you have a condition but I'm sure you're relieved to know what you have & that there's a possible treatment. I hope everything goes very well for you. xo

Heya,

I understand those vision problems. When i first got my panic attack in June, it freaked me out big time i ran to the doctors in Japan, since I was studying there. Honestly it's so scary yes, but at the same time always remind yourself you are medically fine, and that this panic will pass. I got blurry vision and feel my vision sometimes warped, as if it's twisted, but that goes away after a while.

My psychologist told me to notice and understand the pattern, say for my case I had pounding heart, and from then, came random sores and aches, followed by trembling hands and shaky vision, finally ending with tightness in the chest. They can come all at the same time, or systematically. What you need to know, is that it goes away, and that it cannot harm you. Another thing is telling yourself, Oh here it is again :D.

Gradually you'll notice the reduction in symptoms if you're lowering your stress values, and that your body will understand that this situation is normal and no need to be anxious about. Humans, like us are unique in a way we adapt. In this case, your body has probably reacted to something(trigger) and sparked off such anxiety again.

Stay well!
Rei

I'm glad you're doing better. I can relate to the eye issues. My eyes have always been sensitive and I've had issues with floaters and flashing. But the worst is ocular migraines. I've had 2 this week and then afterward I'm so anxious and worried I'm going to get another one, I become hyper-focused on my eyes. Then I am constantly focusing on my vision and freaking out whenever anything seems "off". So you are not alone!

Sorry to hear about the afterimage. I've had that sort of thing before too, usually goes away after a few minutes. Maybe some people just have more sensitive eyes. But focusing on it does make it worse, as I know well!

The ocular migraines are upsetting. I had one in July, but before that I hadn't had one since I was pregnant, over 4 years ago. So I'm all worried about why they're happening again.

Maybe the cataract surgery will help. I've heard it's a very simple procedure. My mom had it a few years ago and loves the result-she can see well and no longer needs glasses/contacts.

Anxiety ,headaches and visual changes are all connected,for me lack of sleep can trigger all.
Lately not keeping too well .
Awful events and docs is making my visual problems go worse so I can't even log in here or check my email.