early morning panic attack!!

It all started lastnight, I ate cake, horrible idea! I was beating myself up over it, bad! It sent me in to a complete panic attack!! I took hydroxyzine, it worked. I fell asleep. I woke up at 4am, feeling bleh ( probably because of the panic attack ) and had a sharp pain in my collarbone and left side of my chest, near my sternum, inside part of my breast ) and that just sent me over the edge, AGAIN!

Panic attack! I didn't want to wake my husband up, so I turned my heating pad on, put it on my chest where it hurt, it felt better... told myself "it's probably just a muscle, the weather is changing and your body is different this fall, than last..." I fell asleep...

Kept waking up, but quite proud of myself that I didn't have to take any medication and for once could actually make the panic attack go away on my own!

It's a BIG, I mean BIG, step for me!!

But now today, I am TOTALLY miserable!!

I've had that pain happen again a few times, it seems to go into my neck too a little. The one time I pressed, it hurt even worse!

I was told about 4 months ago, it was costochondritis, but can it really last 4 months!?

I'm trying to remind myself that my cardiologist told me my heart is fine, to relax or I will irritate my anxiety even worse.

My stomach has been bothering me the last 4 days,
When it does my chest feels all bubbly, shaky and just funny..
I don't go for an endoscopy til November 13th...

So I'm just trying to deal with it for now!
Even though the weird feelings make me worry and skip right back to "my heart...."
Even though, RIGHT before this past week, I was doing GREAT!!!

):

Thanks for reading!

Celebrate the part where you made the panic attack go away on your own! Yay you!

I'm sorry you're feeling awful today. You probably did clench up so much that your muscles hurt. I get those weird muscles that criss cross over the chest area inflamed from hugging my pillow too tight, or just laying on my side, and curling up into a ball too tight.

Then, I fight them all the next day. They sting or ache, and make me immediately think of my heart.

Keep talking yourself out of this funk. <3

edited to add:

Forgive yourself for the cake. It's over, and you can't change it, so let it go.

Guess what I had my hubby go get me after supper last night? Yup, a double fudge brownie sundae. I ate the whole thing. I slept terrible, and had stupid, and sad dreams. I can't change it.

We both can just try to be better today. :)

Thanks! I never knew that about almonds! Definitely will do that!!!

I make the rice pillows! I loveee them! (: and thank you!!