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Son depressed over girlfriend breaking up with him

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Posted 11/26/2015 4:47 AM (GMT 0)
Help! It's been 2 months and my son is severely depressed over his girlfriend leaving him. He stays in his bedroom. He's not talking to friends or family. He refuses to go for counseling and refusing to take his meds. He says he's lost his will to live. He just wants her to come back. I'm trying the best to take care of my well being but it's very draining. I had to admit him earlier this month for trying to overdose. I'm terrified to leave him alone-
Posted 11/26/2015 5:04 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Mochi,

Its definitely hard to deal with someone elses issues especially when its your own son. I hope that with time he will pull him self out of the rut that he seems to be stuck in with the breakup. Did he recently start meds or stop taking them?

Aloha,

AK
Posted 11/26/2015 5:17 AM (GMT 0)
Aloha known
He only took them for 2 weeks and had bad side effects. He was supposed to start a new one but is resisting everything. So sad to see someone so young with no will
Posted 11/26/2015 10:03 PM (GMT 0)
I went through this when i was a young man in the Army, thought i would die
but i also thought the Army was going to kill me. Long story short the Sargents kept me so busy and afraid that is passed, I would not trade the Wife i have now for a hundred of those who dumped me. Peace

Larry ***
Posted 11/26/2015 10:09 PM (GMT 0)
I wish he would find something to keep him busy. The days are so long when one sits alone doing nothing.
Posted 11/27/2015 7:04 AM (GMT 0)
Distraction is the answer to most of the things we fear. Peace

Larry ***
Posted 11/27/2015 7:14 AM (GMT 0)
Holidays are tough when someone that's depressed doesn't want to be around family or friends.
Posted 11/27/2015 7:21 PM (GMT 0)
Question- What does a mother do if her 18 year old son says he doesn't have the will to live anymore? I'm so lost-
Posted 11/28/2015 4:26 AM (GMT 0)
If i was talking to him I would tell him this: Almost nothing that happens in his school years will matter after high school. When he's 30, he will just remember this girl as one of the many girls he's dated and will look back at this and laugh. It's tough to get an adolescent to think beyond the now, but you have to get them to. Their world is so small the littlest things seem like the end of the world, but they are blips on the radar. Unfortunately, his mom is the last person he's going to listen to. He needs a guy to talk to him. Ideally not his dad but a friend or uncle or someone he respects. Good luck.
Posted 11/29/2015 1:04 AM (GMT 0)
Mochi,

I am so sorry to hear of what you are going through with your son. I know this is a very difficult time for both of you.

I am assuming your son lives with you?

If so, you are in a position to make it a non-negotiable that he go in and talk to his doctor.

If he has already attempted self harm, then this and therapy should be mandated and not an option anyway.

You are not doing him any long term good to allow him to refuse help...

...so don't! If he is living in your home...you are the one who must set the rules.

...and a tough, but loving rule would be for him to have to work a program for his depression, if he is to continue living with you.

He will likely fight you on this...

...but sometimes the toughest things to do are the right things.

Wishing you courage, strength and resolve to help him help himself.

Scaredy Cat
Posted 11/29/2015 3:28 AM (GMT 0)
Hi and welcome

I'm so sorry to hear your son's situation. He's heartbroken and is in pain emotionally. He needs encouragement and support. Get his friends to come over to cheer him up. All he needs is time to heal. Keep persuading him to see a therapist, it would really be helpful if he can have counseling. In the meantime what you can do is to pump up his mood a bit. Play upbeat music, not to loud, but enough for him to hear. You can also make him watch comedy filled movies. Humor always help the young people get over their depressed situations.

I know how it feels to be left by a loved one and be depressed after. The best thing your son can do is to focus more on himself and his future. Make his girlfriend realize the mistake she made.
Posted 11/29/2015 5:54 AM (GMT 0)
thanks for the replies everyone. Yes, I need to toughen up a bit on him. He's been giving me a hard time by asking me to either give him permission to die or bring his girlfriend back. I've been trying to get out of the house for a little bit each day. I'm a single mom. We live with my dad. Tough love is tough. I feel like I'm teetering on a fence these days-
Posted 11/29/2015 8:57 PM (GMT 0)
He will have to want to crawl out of the black hole he is in, but when he starts to communicate with you, you can be the answer for many of his problems,

"No one on earth is so important that they should be the reason we want to
live, laugh, or be happy". No One. Peace

Larry ***
Posted 11/29/2015 9:11 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Larry-
I hope he will find his way out of the darkness. I'm trying my hardest not to be pulled in-
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