Feeling Depressed 😭

Been exercising every other day but I'm still the same.. Right now while listening to Bruno Mars music and I'm doing my coloring book I am crying.I'm so depressed for almost everyday.. Didnt take my Xanax I guess for a week now.. I'm so short tempered to my husband.. My sister will be here this Friday, we will having a catering for 2 days. I miss cooking anyway especially being busy,but my depression get in to me.. I smile I laugh in front of my husband and to his children but inside of me I'm so down.. Pls any advice what to do or uplifting words from you guys its enough for me that I'm not alone, that I have friends to share what I feel.. Thank you so much. I am so down, my body is so lazyyyyy.. Thinking to take my Xanax.. Will do Zumba tomorrow even my body do t want to, and will try to go out with my dog tomorrow..

Hi SC,

I'm so sorry SC, what is A/D? Is it anti depressant medication? I don't have medication for depression only alprazolam as needed.. Every time I feel good I didn't think about making appointment with my doctor. I don't know why I feel this way, maybe because my menstration is coming..

I just took my Xanax .50 mg 30 minutes ago.. I really feel so down right now.. I am scared to take medication SC, I am crying right now. I'm so tired of sharing this to my husband. Because I know he is tired of listening to my feelings. I want to change my lifestyle but no guts to go out in my comfort zone. My sister is planning to bring me back to our hometown for 2 wks and guess what, this coming June. But right now I'm stressing out thinking of our trip, beside it's not sure if I'm coming anyway or not. It's 18 hrs of flying.. And have feeling lately nervousness, my heart palpitations is racing everyday. Especially if I'm going to drive..
I am embarrassed to go for psychiatrist.. I keep telling my self I a healthy but my mind says no your not, you need to seek help from your doctor.. Right now I am taking everyday vitamins with omega 3, vitamin b6, ginkgo biloba for memory, and fish oil and drinking black cherry everyday.

Hi hibee,

I talked to my husband and planning to make appointment with my doctor later. My husband told me there is nothing to be scared about. and he keep telling me to take advantage to go for check up because he is paying the insurance anyway. I only have 3hrs of sleep right now. Took my alprazolam before i go to bed. To tell you guys honestly im so tired of my life that being same same routine.. I miss having a good time. Since my husband had a heart surgery 2 years ago my life change. His children is not to be fun with no life also, they care about their father but not easy to ask favor esp the eldest one,they love to be isolated,, the youngest has a health problem too, my husband love to sleep. We never do anything that make our life more memorable. In short my life is: woke up, eat, watch tv, eat, sleep every day. And thinking about the health of my husband, his daughter and my health too. the more im alone or not doing anything i am thinking about my fear, anxiety, and nervouseness and it will lead to depression..

I will make appointment with my doctor, that's my first step that im going to do.. thank you hibee and sc

Dear Bik41- you sound very, very much like me so I know exactly how you're feeling. My depression really started about three years when I was laid off from my job. I was 65 years old but basically very healthy so I planned to work until age 70 because I needed the money badly. I have three sons who have their own lives so I really don't want to impose on them and let them know how I'm feeling. After working for 40 years I kind of felt lost so I decided to do some caregiving for the elderly. Turns out that that was more depressing than anything else. Like you said, it just seems like my life is boring and uneventful and I have very little motivation to do things. I take Xanax to because I have had anxiety and panic attacks for many years but I never noticed the actual depression as much as I do now. I tried to keep busy but when I'm alone in the house which is most of the time, I have 10 times more anxiety and depression. My youngest son is 24 and currently still lives with me, but probably not for long, and he's gone most of the time with his friends and it seems like the only time I'm happy is when he's around. At my age it's hard to know what would be the best thing to do to climb out of this depression. I plan to make an appointment with my therapist who I haven't seen in over a year to explore the possibility of an antidepressant although I'm scared to take one of course. I know I should exercise more but now use the excuse that as soon as spring comes I will start doing that . I hate the cold weather so I'm usually cooped up in the house because I don't have money to spend going out shopping and doing things a lot of other people would do like to travel etc. I'm realizing I guess that as much as I hate to admit it I'm getting old and now that I've also been recently diagnosed with macular degeneration in my left eye that I can't drive at night so that eliminates a lot of possibilities too. I'm so sorry that you are going through this yourself but I just wanted you to know that there are others like myself who are suffering with the same thing and I hope that can be some comfort to you. I wish I had up at answer for how we get out of this But I guess we can just take one day at a time.

Hi,

Sorry you're dealing w depression, it's not fun. There are certain things you can't control, like your husbands health. But sometimes being depressed can be a call to take care of yourself and make you're own life separate from being a wife & a step mother. I have to put effort every single day into being my own person and creating my own happiness outside of being a wife and mother, getting out of the house. I call a friend and go for a walk, i'll go for a massage, do some creative project that interests me, learn something new or just walk around a book store.

I'm glad you're going to the dr to be looked at. Getting a therapist would be a great thing too. But outside of that, you need to find one thing, regardless of how small, that you can actively do that moves you're focus from the anxiety & depression to something you find pleasure in.

What are some things you can do that might either lift your mood or at least provide a temporary distraction?

Thank you so much guys,, I just made appointment with my doctor. Woke up with light headed but still I manage to do Zumba for 30 minutes. Right now I am so sleepy.

Accept, thank you for the reply. You are right, I just need more time for myself.. planning to get some therapeutic massage next week. Told my husband that I need to pamper myself once in a while. I love to watch comedy movie or series especially I love Lucy show. That lift my mood..

Annynickname, thank you. I am a Catholic. I love to go to the church every Sunday but not anymore, I don't have somebody to go with me. My husband is Jewish. I love praying but never open my bible. But planning to read it and have some time with our lord. I love that..

Thank you guys for all the support. I really need it. Love you all