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I have finally come to a conclusion... Need support....

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Posted 2/21/2016 12:28 AM (GMT 0)
Years ago my sister went through a rough time and i was there for her 100 percent.. Even though she was struggling with alcohol abuse and she was very abusive to me, i put that all aside to do whatwver i needed to do to help her.. Now im in an awful place emotionally and mentallt and she is still abusive to me snd has turned her back on me.. Ifeel like it is hindeting me to get better.. Im the older sister abs i coukd never imagine this happening.. I am HEARTBROKEN that she is treating me so cruelly.. It bothers me everyday and makes my condition worse..
Please, i neef advice.. What and how do i deal with this,,
GG
Posted 2/21/2016 1:06 AM (GMT 0)
After reading your post I feel like I can related.
I was dating a girl and as the relationship progressed I can to find out she would self harm and was an extremely depressed person. I put my all in trying to help her and did whatever I could to do so. to make a long story short I went down hip and was in a rut and to put it lightly feeling like crap. So after 4 years of dating and her doing amazing she left me and I was in my worst and didn't understand why when I really needed her. She blocked me form calling the whole nine.

My advice is not to have hate or resentment towards your sister cause it will delay your healing. Forgive and try to understand…I know its easier said then done but its more for you then her. Its heartbreaking I understand trust me. Distance yourself not forever just to get better and focus on yourself. like myself I think its easier to be there for others then it is for your own self.

Stay strong your a good person and what you did for your sister when she needed your shows a lot about your character and heart. Therapy worked for me years ago and Im starting it again and maybe it would be good for you too. or try yoga of going for walks or going to the gym. do things for you only for you and I know you'll be good. I have bad days too mentally and feel like crap but I know it will pass even if it feels like it never will.

Hope I could help
feel good
Peace and love <3
Posted 2/21/2016 1:18 AM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry GP.:(

I can tell this is hurting you...and naturally so!

When dealing with toxic relationships and people who cause us emotional harm...

...it is crucial to set boundaries.

She will always be your sister, so you'll want to do all you can to keep the relationship as healthy as possible...but with some distance for your own well being.

Keep in mind that your sister's treatment of you is her own deficit. ..and not a reflection of you!

Work on cultivating relationships where there is a more mutual give and take in support. I am sure you can find a couple of close friends that you can share this kind of rapport with.:)

We are always here for you as well...

S.C.
Posted 2/21/2016 1:53 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much.. I really hate feeling this way. I guess it hurts do much bc i would of NEVER abandon her. I am so anxious depressed derealized agoraphobic and stressed out and on top of it i have domeone that i always protected and would do anything gor treat me like im garbage. She has called me terrible names, loser, ugky, fat, she will always be better than me and it hurts me so deeply. These past 10 months i have basically been unable to care for mymy dsughter alone do my mom has been basically taking csre of her and ny sister said that im killing my mother. It causes me do much pain. I am trying do hard to get better and when she says things like that i feel like i want to die. I am so desperate for her support. She doesn't even come see my daughter who has special needs. My fiancé had a terrible car accident a year ago snd he is disabled too. Im scared thst my mom is going to get sick bc of my issues. I dont want to be this way... 😔
Posted 2/21/2016 8:15 PM (GMT 0)
GP,

Have you talked to your mom about this? What does she say? Don't let your sister speak for her...

I am willing to bet she loves taking part in her grand daughter's care. :)

Keep doing all you can to reach your recovery goals. You are going to get there with time and effort.

Keep up hope and posting...we'll be here to cheer you on!

S.C.
Posted 2/21/2016 8:38 PM (GMT 0)
It's extremely difficult going through this and raising a child. I'm always concerned about my son but I just try to do my best around him. Also, I've come to the conclusion that support is great but most people don't really understand this condition and a hard time emphasizing. It took me a while to get over a lot of my friends and family not understanding and I realized it was holding me back. The feeling of betrayal is horrible but you should accept it and get yourself into a better place.
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