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Anxious about being alone at home

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Posted 2/4/2016 1:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hi,

I know this must be completely stupid to some people... But to me, this is quite freakin real. My fiance is away for a few days and I'm booked off from work being sick... I bargained of going to work tomorrow just to have people around me because I just cannot stand being alone at home. I don't mind the fact that my fiance is not here or scared of something happening, but it is being alone with nothing here, no one to talk to or waking up in dead silence that is freaking me out. As soon as I think of this dead silence around me I get short breathed and starts crying for no reason. Am I going crazy for not wanting to be alone? It feels like it is driving me crazy.
Posted 2/4/2016 2:33 PM (GMT 0)
I struggle with this as well. My fiance had to go away overnight twice this last week, and even though I was here with our daughter I was still very uncomfortable. I ended up having my mom spend the night with me so I didn't have to be alone. Having anxiety doesn't mean you're crazy. Do you have any coping methods you use?
Posted 2/4/2016 2:38 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, Thanks for the reply. No I don't really have anything. I try to read books and watch movies to keep myself from thinking about it but somehow the silence crawls back into my mind and I lose it all over again. I really don't think I can get through the next 4 days. I count down the hours of having him back at home and it drives me insane! I really do not know what to do.
Posted 2/4/2016 2:48 PM (GMT 0)
Take a look at the anxiety resources thread at the top of the forum, there are some great ideas there. Try to relax and breathe and know that you are absolutely fine. Do you have any friends you can see during the day so you're not alone the whole time?
Posted 2/4/2016 2:54 PM (GMT 0)
Not really, we recently moved here... We thought it would be a great idea to have some change in our lives... I will have a look at the methods and try to get through this time. Thanks for the support. :-)
Posted 2/4/2016 4:37 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Bella and welcome!

This is actually a fairly common phobia...'Monophobia'.

I am sorry you are dealing with this issue...but there is help and hope!

We have great self help material in the Resources at the top of the main forum page here. Practicing these coping skills daily will make a difference. :)

If you'd like, I can also post some links specifically on monophobia...and pull up some older threads on the subject. ..let me know if you're interested. :)

Post with us anytime for anxiety support!

Scaredy Cat
Posted 2/4/2016 4:39 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much! It would be great to get a grip on this. It breaks me down being like this. I would much appreciate it to gey behind this feeling and anxiety.
Posted 2/4/2016 4:56 PM (GMT 0)
Okay, I am pulling some old threads up and some self help links...give me a few minutes to complete this...it takes a while.smile Be sure and check all the links and suggestions provided in them!
S.C.

http://anxietycare.org.uk/docs/fear_of_being_alone.asp
http://www.psychologistanywhereanytime.com/phobias_psychologist_and_psychologists/psychologist_monophobia.htm
https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=2956818
Posted 2/4/2016 6:01 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Bella

I'm sorry you are going through this. I get like this too when my hubby is not home. It's normal. You are not crazy. Because if you were than we all are lol. Have you thought of putting music on so you don't wake up in dead silence? If you like to chat. Come join me in the anxiety chat room.

Let me know
Posted 2/4/2016 6:07 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks so much for all your assistance. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in this. But what causes this? I mean, why do I only feel this way when I know I will be alone for a few days? I stay alone alot sometimes but I know my fiance will be back after work. Why do I only feel this way when he's gone for a few days? Isn't this weird? Is it even normal?
Posted 2/4/2016 6:54 PM (GMT 0)
Bella,

We all have our anxiety triggers...and this just happens to be yours.

Many people have 'safe' people on whom we rely on for support, so when they are gone for a prolonged time...things get challenging.

Work some of those suggested coping skills in the links...

...and post with is as needed!

We are here for you.:)

S.C.
Posted 2/9/2016 12:26 AM (GMT 0)
i suffer from this also bella- it can get intense sometimes. i end up going to walmart just to walk around other people. silly isnt it
Posted 2/9/2016 1:00 AM (GMT 0)
I think it's not unusual to feel some angst when our loved ones are away for longer than just a day...I'm sure if you ask most people they feel some level of discomfort with it. Now for us worried well types, it will feed on itself and spiral into moderate to massive anxiety. Like SC said we all have triggers; believe me I have mine! Hang in there though...maybe focus on those small things you've been wanting to do like run errands, go on a nice drive or walk at the mall, catch up on Netflix (my personal favorite), etc...
Posted 2/9/2016 5:07 AM (GMT 0)

BellaH said...
But what causes this? I mean, why do I only feel this way when I know I will be alone for a few days? I stay alone alot sometimes but I know my fiance will be back after work. Why do I only feel this way when he's gone for a few days? Isn't this weird? Is it even normal?

...THIS is SO important! You only feel this way when you know you'll be alone. Nothing else is different...except your thoughts!

You're thoughts are causing irrational fear. Once you begin to notice the thought process that brings you anxiety, then you can begin to take control of that process and change it or just stop "believing" it.

And once you stop believing what anxiety's it's telling you (that you are unsafe), you can let it go. It'll take practice. But it's just a fear, and fears can be overcome.
Posted 2/23/2016 8:41 PM (GMT 0)
Thank god I found you!
I thought I was the only one that has this issue.
is there someway we can create a place to chat.?
thank you!
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