Is this ever going to end?

I have been struggling with anxiety my entire life and since the age of 20 after battling a serious illness, I have battled health anxiety on and off. This has been the toughest go with it since those 6 years ago. All of the physical symptoms are so overbearing and no matter how much I try to stay positive, stay upbeat, relax, breathe, meditate, visualize, distract myself or even remedy with holistic healing methods what I think the problem(s) could be, NOTHING is working. The resources do not help me, no supplements or super foods are helping. I had a spell of non stop nausea 3 weeks ago, then it went away for a week 2 weeks ago and since last Monday, I've had nausea, waking stomach pain/nausea, terrible burning pain in my stomach and chest, muscle spasms in my back, terrible headaches, dizziness, fatigue, such crippling anxiety and fear I have to force myself through every day. I'm in an office at work and my world is falling apart. I'm terrified of doctors and terrified of what they'll tell me or what they'll miss. I've been misdiagnosed after being told I had a serious disease I did not actually have and then later undiagnosed when I did have something serious. I know statistically the likelihood of me having something serious is very slim. I'm young, I workout 5-6 days a week, I eat clean/organic/gluten free. I have been under so much stress and have gone through quite a terrible bout of depression and I know the mind can cause the body such torment but this is insane. I feel like I'm losing my mind and I'm spiraling downward. Every time I start to feel a little better, I get some relief, am able to relax and take a breath, it comes right back for me and that nausea comes screaming back, lifting me out of my seat.

I feel like nothing is working and I am trapped in the hell of my own body. I feel like no one can help me and I'm never going to get better. Can anyone relate?

I did spend time with the material, but the physical symptoms are so overbearing it's nearly impossible to focus on anything and when those symptoms get strong, its game over.

I'm so terrified that I'm dying but I'm even more terrified to find out for sure.

I could have written your post almost word for word. I will admit that my xanax helps me but basically just takes the edge off and helps me to function somewhat. I too am terrified of doctors and avoid them at all costs. I am absolutely sure that he will tell me I'm dying of something and have one month to live! I know this is incredibly childish but I don't seem to have any control over it. It's been going on on and off since I was a young child and I'm in my sixties now. I have had years where I have felt fine so at least you can know that it does go away at times but for the past year it has all hit me again and I'm not quite sure why. Maybe it's just that I'm getting old and convinced that this time around it's got to be something terminal. My therapist is convinced that most anxiety is caused from a fear of death and suggested I read a book called Staring Into the Sun by Irvin Yalom. It's a wonderful easy read and was very helpful for me. You might want to give it a try.

I also could have written your post, Bunglefever. Although this is the first time I am posting, I have been visiting this site for years because it has provided a great deal of help, comfort and information to me. Health anxiety has had a grip on me since I was a kid, and the older I get the worse the episodes get. Within the past couple of years and within 6 months of each other, I have had 2 very close family members diagnosed with horrible illnesses. Since then my HA has been in absolute high-gear. I am *t e r r i f i e d* of doctors and more terrified of thinking about having to take a test, scan, etc. and waiting for the results. Thinking about that is almost enough to send me over the edge. This past month I have been gripped like never before by the anxiety. New, different and very scary physical symptoms have taken over my body...and mind. My life, specifically my family life, has suffered a great deal because of this. I have found a lot of comfort here and I have learned a lot from the other members. What I can also tell you is that the Resources (specifically the one S.C. mentioned) have helped alleviate things for me when I put the hard work in. However, it takes time - it's taken me over a month this time, but if you put it into practice and motion I believe you will find some relief as well. (I have found prayer to also be extremely beneficial to me).

We are all very similar here and you're not alone. I don't like to think that misery likes company, but rather there's strength in numbers. I hope you find your strength.

It's insane what is does to us on a physical level. Like for me, right now, I'm trying to breathe deeply and relax but I'm getting hungry. So I at a handful of trail mix (something I eat all the time) and I got a terrible burning pain in my sternum. It's very scary and I can't help but think something's wrong with me. However, last night when I ate my dinner and this morning when I had my breakfast, although both meals had to be muscled down because though I was hungry, my gag reflex wouldn't let the food go down without a fight, I had no burning sensation.

The fear takes over and you can't help but wonder what's causing such discomfort, but like you said, the idea of going to the doctor is almost a worse agony than not knowing.

HoldOnToMyHand...

OMGsh...I JUST re-read my post to you...and saw my regrettable typo! Please forgive the mistake of adding 'old' to your screen name. I don't know how that happened!! I was on my phone...so I am going to blame it on auto correct...because I certainly didn't type it out that way!

I myself am in the middle aged (45) club...and I would NOT like to be known as 'Old Scaredy'!!

I am again sorry....and hope we can laugh about this one day down the road...? ;p

...what a welcome indeed, huh?

I do hope you'll continue...in spite of my poor manners, lol!!

S.C.

Hi MM and welcome!

It is great to see you've joined us, and are sharing and taking part in the support already...thank you!

I am sure you will feel understood and encouraged here, so post often.:)

Feel free to continue contributing, and start an introductory thread for yourself if you feel comfortable doing so.

We look forward to getting to know you better!

Scaredy Cat