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Posted 5/24/2016 12:12 PM (GMT 0)
I find out thru Facebook that all my family was only ten miles from my house this weekend celebrating two nieces graduation, and I was never invited. My heart hurts how my narcissistic mother and my evil sister has turned everyone against me with their lies. My heart is in so much pain and no one will comfort me. I don't know what to do, do I just suck up the pain and keep moving? My anxiety is so bad I don't know how to cope alone anymore. My husband is too busy, and my son is handicapped and doesn't understand. All I have is my cats and one is dying.
Posted 5/24/2016 1:01 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry deb,

Is it possible that you, like us has been declining invitations? So now they stop the invites.
Posted 5/24/2016 3:49 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry Deb,

I can imagine how you are feeling right now.

For me...I would have to know why.

I think a million 'why' questions would be going around in a anyone's head...

...but until you ask your family directly why this happened. ..you may not be at peace. (plus this could be the first step towards better communication with all of you.)

Best wishes, and let us know how it goes if you do confront them.

S.C.
Posted 5/24/2016 5:06 PM (GMT 0)
I already know the why, the why is because my mother told everyone that I want nothing to do with them, which is a lie. I have tried to explain myself to them but they would rather believe her and my sister. cry
Posted 5/24/2016 5:36 PM (GMT 0)
Did you ever determine the reason why there's a rift between your mom, sister and you?

Sounds like that is where starting an open talk needs to happen...

S.C
Posted 5/24/2016 6:19 PM (GMT 0)
If you think they will not listen to you at all, you could try writing a letter. If you write something that comes from the heart, and that does not accuse or blame or criticize anyone else, and that betrays humility and a sincere desire to reconcile, that will come through. It is not 100% chance of success -- but it might be worth a try. (Even writing the letter might feel good). Best wishes.
Posted 5/24/2016 6:58 PM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry, Deb.
I agree with MedVed, that writing a letter to them, so you can say your piece, in order to get peace, may be good.
Keeping you in my prayers
Posted 5/24/2016 7:04 PM (GMT 0)
I just want to add, in the letter I would not mention about your Mom and Sister saying you want nothing to do with them. I would just talk about how you wish you would have been included and how sad you were to miss it. Also, how much you love your family and would like to be included. It is possible there is a huge misunderstanding...this happens often.

I say all this, because I have found times in the past where I thought I knew what someone was thinking, and later found out I was completely wrong.
Posted 5/24/2016 7:29 PM (GMT 0)
Deb, first Forgive, then be the best You that you can, Let them know in your own way that you Love them and miss them, make sure that they realize that no one has done anything to you the reason
you dont socialize is your fears. "Deb i can't tell you when but you will one day need to walk directly
toward your fear". Peace

Larry ***
Posted 5/24/2016 11:02 PM (GMT 0)
we cant blame them deb,
no one understands our sickness, but a select few including our selves.

people think i'm a ****** for not having dinner with family. or they think i have something against them.

if trading both my legs would cure my anxiety and give me peace and happiness, i would trade it so easily, at least people can actually see there is something wrong with me.

and not make up stories after stories, and try to find the most horrible story to tell.
Posted 5/25/2016 11:49 AM (GMT 0)
This rift has been going on for over three years now between my mother and me. It started the day she spread lies and plotted my sister against me. It hurt so much I was in therapy for along time and learned my boundries. My therapist agreed with me that my mother is narcissistic and that I will never change her. It is hard because my mother has ruined my relationship with my sister. brothers and nieces. Also daughter in laws, by playing the victim and they think I'm horrible. They only hear and believe her lies. Anyway a few years ago I took time finding the right Hallmark card and wrote my feelings inside, how I felt so hurt and misunderstood. I sent it to my mother. She never mentioned it until I asked her if she received it.
She told me yes she received it and she said these exact words to me. " I ripped the f..king card up". I have tried numerous times to tell my family members the truth, that I have asked my mom and dad to visit me that it is hard to take my son who is handicapped in a wheelchair out and about, and that it would be easier if they could visit me. My mother gave every excuse in the world why they couldn't visit me.
In the mean time they would go to different states seeing my brothers, or ten minutes away from me to visit my sister. So you see I have tried.
Posted 5/25/2016 3:53 PM (GMT 0)
DS,

All you can do is continue to reach out to your siblings, nieces and other members of the family. In the big picture, a person's true colors speak for themselves.

In time, it will show that your mother has not been honest...

...and your nature will be revealed since you have continued to remain sweet in spite of being treated unfairly.

Again, I am sorry...family conflict is so difficult.

We are here for you friend.

S.C.
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