Posted 7/1/2016 1:56 AM (GMT 0)
Okay, so it just started getting like this as of recently. I had an attack about 2months ago. I was pretty much stressed, 2 deaths in the family a month apart, I had a falling out with my best friend who I would talk to everyday, and I was stressing about my future. I'm 24 and I just feel like I should have my life more put together. I started getting palpitations, which I assume was the stress. Then I started worrying about my heart just stopping out of nowhere. It got to the point where I couldn't even fall asleep some nights because I was so scared. Still no attack, just the constant feeling of fear. I guess one night it just got too much and it happened. I began to feel dizzy and my heart started racing. I was so afraid to call the ambulance so I just sat outside trying to let it pass. It did. My main focus during this attack was my heart. I ended up just going to the emergency room the next day when my husband returned from work. Saw a cardiologist and everything was perfectly nomal besides the wolff parkinson white that I have. Mine is harmless though. I felt a sense of relief. I went on vacation a few days later, still a little anxious but I pushed myself to go and I was perfectly fine and happy. I was at peace. But then my husband left for work, he gets a week off every 2 weeks, so that makes it 2weeks of just being alone. And little by little it started coming back, just not as intense. One night, I got a pain in my neck and back of my head and I started worrying about that after googling. I had it under control though. Until last week. After having an awesome stress free week with my husband, the second to the last day of him being here it crept in while he was driving. This time I focused more on the fact that I felt like I was about to pass out and that made it scarier. I seriously thought something was wrong with me. I went to the ER right away. Bloodwork normal. They gave me Ativan and my heart rate went down. It was another panic attack. But this time it really broke me, because I was okay and happy. So now I just have this feeling of, its always going to happen randomly so be alert 100% of the time. So I feel okay, and then I start thinking about it and it comes back. My mind knows my body is okay, but I guess now I just feel that I have no control over these attacks. As soon as I realize my body is calm I panic. Ive been like this since going to the ER the 22nd. And my husband had to return to work so I'm battling this alone. Im making plans to see a therapist, but the waiting is horrible. Especially alone.