its been a while, unfortunately i still suffer :-(

haven't posted anything in over a year but I still visit weekly just to be assured that the symptoms I experience are just those of anxiety. wish I was able to come back and express the joys of no longer dealing with anxiety or at least have been able to cope with it better but no. I guess this really is life for me. smh. good news is that a lot of my old symptoms have subsided, but the bad news is ive picked up newer and scarier ones. I really just wish everything would leave. I'm tired of being depressed, worried, scared, anxious, unhappy etc. this is not the life I invisioned nor is it the life that I want. I hate life rite now. don't get me wrong I'm blessed to still have a life, but wats a life with restrictions? I don't go out, I barely get out of bed, I don't get dressed, I don't do anything I use to do. why? not because I don't want to but because I just cant. my body nor mind will let me. just really wish things were different for me. sorry about the sob post but I just really needed to vent. my boyfriend recently broke up with me because he says he doesn't like the woman ive become. I'm not the same and being with me was starting to depress him. who can blame him tho? I'm not the same person that I was when we got together. I'm surprised he hung in there this long cuz I prolly would've left a long time ago if I were him. who wants to be around someone that's so down all the time, and despite ur best efforts to bring joy to them, theyre still lifeless.
life has literally left me. I feel like the walking dead. I just want to get better.

Ive gone to therapy, i take meds, started eating healthier, I read books, meditate, deep breathing exercises etc and nothing seems to really work. I have some good days but alot more bad days. Really dont kno wat to do anymore. Seems like the only relief I get is when im sleep but thts if im even able to go to sleep since anxiety seems to thrive even more at night time. Im jst really sick of this. Ive loss so much becuz of this disorder, myself included smh. Feel as tho ive ran out of options and I need to jst accept tht this is really tge rest of my life.

Thnx larry..looks like thts wat im goin to have to do!!

Kk thnx..I will!!

I agree with Hibee, exercise really helps me, that's when I get myself motivated to do it. Also I know that a lot of us that suffer are actually very creative people, try to be creative in art, decorating etc, as it takes your mind off creating a mind of unrest, and on to something else.

Hi ray1528,

It is possible to help yourself and move forward into a happier healthier (mentally) you. Practice more positive and less negative ways of thinking and speaking, both in the written word and verbally.

Change "Unfortunately, I still suffer" with -- anxiety/panic attacks are still a challenge. We live with what we think. Suffer means to become worse. Challenge means it's difficult but you have the potential to win the challenge or battle.

Accept the challenge. Pick up the sword and fight back. Change how you think and how you phrase things. Make a choice to be happy and then put it into action, make an effort to smile and laugh even if you are faking it...fake it till you make it. It might take time and it will definitely not feel or be real but if you keep trying one day you will find you are no longer faking it, it's real.

This is the beginning to reinventing yourself.

This is a process that will take time and effort on your part but is very possible to achieve. The goal is not to be who you were but who you want to be. Start small and take one challenge at a time. Acknowledge and congratulate yourself for each positive change you make. DO NOT beat yourself up or put yourself down when having missteps or falling back into the negative, just accept that it happened, pick the challenge back up and move forward.

Therapy can be even more helpful when you are ready to reinvent yourself.

The information you have received is good, it is also timeless, really good therapists knew years ago
that we are what we think we are, and everyone has the potential to move forward, to improve,
and most of all to "Live", fear is what we allow it to be, if we cave in to fear it will stomp you to death
it will steal your life, it's a robber of the highest sort. So what do you do, all the things mentioned by all your
friends here at HW, the advice is like a huge box of new toys for Christmas, some will be your favorites and others not so much, but give all of them a chance. One more thing, learn to give yourself a pat on the back reward your achievements, Love yourself. "baby steps, stay positive, Live", Peace

Larry ***

We will Pray for you, but i want you to not leave us, stick around and at least read, and you know what
you will one day see a post that makes you want to respond, to help, it is good for what ails us. Peace

Larry ***