Dad Stuff, Skin Stuff, Life Stuff

Hi everyone,

This post may be a long one, so thank you to those that read it in full.

I've mentioned here that my dad has substance abuse (alcohol and drug) issues. He is also mentally unstable in many ways. On Tuesday of this week, we are having a family intervention for him in which he will be forced with a decision to accept treatment that day, or to lose his relationship with me, and some around him. I'm happy we've hired an interventionist who specializes in this, so we don't feel so alone. I'm so nervous for his reception of this. His brother and sister in law are flying in from Northern CA for the day to do this. His best friend will be there. I will be there, and an old family friend will be there. We will be confronting him on long standing issues that have been buried in layers upon layers of denial. His drug usage is only 25% of the problem. It's his mental health that has colonized his mind and has controlled his behavior. He can't sit in a room for more than 3 minutes without fidgeting, twitching, cocking his head to the side, getting up, sitting down, pulling his hair. He paces, he shakes. I see similarities in his behavior with mine. I don't have substance issues, but in the deepest part of my anxiety, I used to not be able to sit still, just always in sheer worry that something bad was about to happen. It scares me that I will turn into him... that my mental state will mirror his when I'm older. Or worse, sooner than that, since I've already been plagued with anxiety for so many years. It's weighing heavy on my heart right now, and especially my mind. I feel like I'm trying to convince myself I'm not him and will never be like him...

As far as skin issues, I did a stint with Accutane about 6 months ago. My skin cleared up.-- it was the clearest I'd seen it in such a long time! I've been blessed with not a pimple or flare up in sight...until recently. My jawline and chin are now covered in cysts and I am so bummed and so upset about it, I could cry. I went through 6 months of dry skin, bleeding lips, no oil production whatsoever with a 99% cure rate...and somehow I wound up in the 1% where Accutane isn't effective. I'm late on my period (about a month... no I'm not pregnant unless it's immaculate conception and I'm carrying the next Savior), so I think hormones have a lot to do with it, but Accutane should have prevented this. Blah. Back to trying to figure out what to do about it.

I'm just in sort of a funk right now and could use as much support as possible <3

Hey Mama!

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down right now.

The situation with your dad sounds so stressful. It makes me sad. I hope he sees that there are people who love him and he agrees to treatment.

Have you been back to the dermatologist and discussed a next step? I took accutane twice in life. I can't remember much about it. Is there a chance you need to do one more round?

Hang in there! You're beautiful inside and out!

Rspwed,
Thank you for your kind, reassuring words. I am chalking up the recent breakout to stress for sure. Hoping once this all settles down, the acne will, too.

Park,
Thank you <3. I hope he agrees to treatment, too. We have the preliminary meeting today to get geared up for everything.

SC,
I'm surprised it's been able to come to fruition this quickly. The hired interventionist has been extremely helpful. He's made all the right calls and connections for us, which I'm so grateful for. It's just his reception to everything that is making me nervous. He can be so mean, and so verbally violent. Just don't know if I have the capacity to be emotionally beaten tomorrow.

Will keep you all updated

Good luck Blu's.

S.C. is right. You'll need some emotional distance. He probably will lash out at everyone involved.
I think that is just the nature of the situation. You're strong enough to take a little more. You've heard it all before, and you're still here. As she also said, his anger will be misguided.

Plus you have others that will be there that see the situation similarly as you, so you're not alone.

Hi Blu

Good luck with the intervention keep us posted.

I had major alcohol and drug problems and with the right support you can get yourself back on track.

Hibee

Wow...wow....WOW!!!!

I am so pleasantly surprised!! TBH, I wasn't sure how it was going to go...

...but what wonderful news!

You must be wrung out with the emotional roller coaster you have been on. It's okay to take it easy and just 'be' the next day or so...

Take care of yourself...and enjoy the good feeling of a happy outcome!

Great job my friend.

Keep us updated, okay?

S.C.

Good news! Good luck to you both!

Thank you guys.

SC, I honestly didn't know how it would go, either. I walked in shaking and pale as a ghost. Completely emotionally and physically exhausted. Slept in until 10am this morning and could have easily gone longer. I had a good cry last night and it felt so good to be free from worrying about him. He's safe and in recovery right now and I couldn't be more grateful. It's so humbling.

Thank you all. Can't say it enough.

Amazing news girl!!!! I'm so happy that things went in a positive direction for you!!

That's outstanding! I hope everything continues in a positive direction! I'm really happy for you!

That is awesome! I'm sure it felt amazing to finally communicate. So happy to read through this post and read all the positives!

That's awesome to hear, Blu!! So happy for you! Praying that there will be many more days like that one for you and your father!