Posted 10/7/2016 11:09 PM (GMT 0)
You said, "Just a garden variety day with depression creeping in and anxiety lurking around the corner."
Do you live "down at the end of Lonely Street" at "Heartbreak Hotel" like Elvis Presley used to sing about?
Then you "wind up back here with the Bully in my head" which you said has "venom," which "tries to dissolve me from the inside out."
Why don't you go ahead and write that novel and get it out of your system?
Here is what helped me. I was in depression for a long time, and my mother suggested going to Easter Seals workshop, which puts you doing piddely things, like putting stickers on soap boxes.
But, it got me out of the house, around people, one of whom knew of a job situation which I applied for and got. But it started with the getting me out of the house and around people, talking and such.
Along this line, one could do volunteer work, such as at a hospital where you could take items to various floors, visit in rooms, etc.
Many hospitals probably have a Volunteer Services Dept. which would be glad to help you. After awhile, you might see a notice on a bullitan board or on a computer about a job opening in the hospital.
You could do volunteer work in library or in a senior citizens home, or walk a dog at a dog pound.
When you start thinking of the dog's problems instead of yours, the psychic energy reverses from going in and worrying about your problems to going out and thinking about the dog's problems.
When a child falls down, the mother's problems disappear. It just happens.
Being around others helped my spirits. I also read a column about being positive when trying to solve a problem.
You said, "`compulsive negative thinking,' but the venom in my head feels more than negative. It tries to dissolve me from the inside out. Lots of days it seems like letting it do just that would be an improvement."
Do we see anybody who needs an "attitude adjustment session?" Are we being a little testy today?
Anyway the column on being positive helped me. Unconsciously, I was negative, but that's not like anybody we know.
So before I tried to think of an answer to a problem, I would say to myself, "Think positive, think positive..." over a over again, to tamp down my negative in my unseen unconscious.
Only then would I try to come up with an answer, and then I would accept the possible solution, rather than let my uncon. knock it down.
"One problem at a time, and be positive about that problem."
Here's a start: "It was a dark and stormy night." Wait, I think Snoopy's already used that.
How about, "It was a garden variety day. I was ready to get on with my life, but anxiety lay just around the corner, and depression was creeping in like the fog on little cat's feet."
"There it was again--venom--my old friend, which was trying to dissolve me from the inside out, and as always, I wound up back here with the Bully in my head."
"I guess that's enough for now."