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Posted 6/15/2017 7:27 PM (GMT 0)
Can anyone help me?
Basically, been married nearly 10 months and very happy.
Then, suddenly, last Friday evening, I was sittin with my wife, just on our iPads and I had the most dreadful intrusive thought about her.
The adrenaline started pumping around my body and my anxiety - I have long term anxiety - started.
Ever since then, I've not been able to get the thought out of my mind, despite the fact that I've never physically hurt anybody or anything in my life.
All I've done every day is trawl through forums and help pages, but the thought is still in my head and I'm terrified it'll never go.
I saw a therapist on Monday and am seeing him again tomorrow.
The more my wife is nice to me, the more guilty I feel and she is starting to realise something is up.
There's no way I can tell her what it is - she has, as she admits herself, little understanding of anxiety, although she is supportive in every other way.
My biggest fear is that she will leave me, which is what would happen if I told her.
I'm so scared.
Posted 6/15/2017 8:31 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Cantona and welcome!

I am really sorry to hear that this disturbing thought that is bothering you currently. I know this is causing you much distress.

However, intrusive thoughts not at all unusual with OCD /anxiety...and do not reflect any real desires of harm or violence toward a loved one...but rather represent the opposite...a fear of such.

I am sure that you will get the tools/help you need to manage this through seeing your therapist ...so keep up the great work in attending your sessions!

You can also add self help to your recovery plan by checking out our Resources at the top of the main forum page here for great material to work with.

Keep posting with us as well if you find it helpful. We understand, care and support is key.

Talk soon,

Scaredy Cat
Posted 6/15/2017 8:35 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you.
But also, it feels like I'm driving myself crazy with it, in my head!
Never had anything like this before.
Posted 6/15/2017 9:17 PM (GMT 0)
Yep, our anxiety is often self sabotozing for sure!

We are stressed, so our anxious brain says, "Here' a horrific/digusting/terrifying thought that should help!"

WTH, right?

Ironically, the best thing you can do is accept the thought, and remind yourself with a positive mantra that it has no reflection or power over you. Try repeating: "This is just a harmless manifestation of my anxiety."

Continuing to work your therapy and self help will also see this symltom phasing out.

Peace, progress...and keep posting.

S.C.
Posted 6/15/2017 9:22 PM (GMT 0)
But (I know, I hate that word) if I accept it and just relax, I'm scared I'll be capable of acting out thought?!
Posted 6/15/2017 9:36 PM (GMT 0)
Read this...it will help.😊

www.steveseay.com/harm-obsessions-violent-obsessions/

S.C.
Posted 6/16/2017 5:57 PM (GMT 0)
I also recommend "imp of the mind" by Lee Baer. Very reassuring, what you are experiencing is pretty common so maybe knowing you aren't alone will offer some comfort 😊
Posted 6/17/2017 3:00 AM (GMT 0)
P.O.M,

I am going to be checking out the book you've recommended...it's a new one for me anyway, so thanks for the recommendation.

If it looks like it would be a good addition to our Resources, I will add it if that's okay with you. smile

S.C.
Posted 6/19/2017 10:54 PM (GMT 0)
SC, of course! It was such a relief to read that book 😊
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