GAD & Intrusive Thoughts

Hello, Everyone!

After beating back anxiety/panic disorder through CBT(I was panic free for over 2 years.) everything is rapidly coming back.

It started two months ago. I am on leave from work with an incurable auto-immune disease. I have been going back and forth with my employer on how to get back to work and if so, what accommodations can be made so I can work more comfortably. Between that stress, my mother moving into a new home(which I had to pay for because she cannot afford it), the stress from my disease and fear of an upcoming procedure, anxiety has come back full force.

I have all of the techniques to help me with the anxiety which I learned in therapy. I know it can't hurt me. I know I will be okay. HOWEVER, this round has come with something I have NEVER experienced before. After a steroid shot for my disease and during a particularly exhausting day, I had a TERRIBLE thought while preparing dinner for my family. I was chopping vegetables for a soup I was making and my children were running through the house. One of them ran through the kitchen and I instantly had a flash of him running into me while I had the knife out. It made me physically ill. I put the knife away and scrapped dinner. I ran the whole thought through my mind over and over again, it was so disturbing. I decided I was just tired, it was a random thought and I went to bed. As the days went on I began having more of these thoughts, and they are SO distressing. I am reading a book written by a Neurologist and a Psychologist called "Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts" and it has given me some comfort knowing that there isn't anything wrong with me and that these thoughts are caused by an anxious state, the fight or flight reaction and assigning value to the thoughts. It's just so hard to keep experiencing them. My Therapist thinks these thoughts all have some interpretation behind them. I really don't want to think about them anymore.

Has anyone else with GAD or Panic Disorder experienced these distressing thoughts, and if so, what works for you to get rid of them?

Thanks,

Calibren

Hi Cal,

I am sorry you are having these distressing thoughts. If my anxiety gets really high, yes...random intrusive thinking can challenge me as well.

You are doing the right things in order to manage the issue...so keep up the good work, and have a look in our Resources for more tools if needed. The Therapy Worksheets, the OCD material and the Stress Relieving Exercises and Meditation Videos would all be helpful to you I believe.

Wishing you the best in reducing your stressors...and in managing your health, both physically and mentally.

Keep us updated so we can keep you in support!

S.C.

Hopeful86 said...
I have them a lot. If I read or something "bad" my mind applies that to my life or situation. It's hard and makes me feel like an ugly person inside. I've read that the more you think about them in a negative light the more our brain obsesses over it. In those moments I just be real with myself. "You would never do anything to hurt ..... this is just anxiety." I try to face it and show/tell how untrue and ridiculous it is. I know what you're going through, trust me. It's an ugly feeling....its definitely anxiety and intrusive thoughts. My brain always thinks worse case scenario.

Hopeful86, Thank you for your reply! I keep telling myself the same thing. The book I mentioned says to accept the thought and react to it in a neutral manner instead of over-analyzing it, thus feeding it. That can be so hard to do!

I honestly don't know how long the actual physical effects last...

...but I know that the trigger/anxiety can last long after any substance remains in the system.

I think that was a smart move to put that particular med on the ban list.

Hopefully you can work with your AI doc (rheumy/endo/gastro) to find an Rx treatment that manages the condition, but doesn't cause you increased anxiety.

(((hugs)))

S.C.