Does anyone here have OCD?

I was diagnosed with OCD a few years ago and sometimes (like now, when my OCD is flaring up) I feel so alone and frightened! I recently cut down my medication and I know now that was a mistake. I'm just trying to put my head down and wait for it to get better...in the meantime, if anyone wants to talk, I'd sure be glad to listen and find some company.

aaroncoal1 said...
I have OCD on a not-so-grand scale. But it does affect me pretty badly. My OCD comes in the form of circular negative thinking and getting songs stuck in my head. I also check the internet constantly for symptoms. But prozac seems to be really helping. You should get back on those meds. Some of us need them to sustain a functioning life...and there is nothing wrong with that. You wouldn't want a diabetic to stop taking their insulin.

You're right...I hadn't really ever thought of it in that way. I am increasing my meds but as you know, I'm sure, unfortunately it doesn't happen overnight. I do have some of it in my system...I went from 150 mgs down to 25 mgs...not all at once but over the course of a month I guess...I guess I'm just one of those who needs a higher dose of meds. I will say that my doctor was very sweet when I called this morning. He was perfectly nice about upping my meds when I was insistent just a few weeks ago that I lower them (against his advice by the way) and he said "Don't panic...you'll get there." I'm just so mad at myself for letting myself get back to a place where I'm anxious and upset all the time. I was doing really well. I guess I thought I was stronger than the OCD. I'm not and you know what, I think there's nothing wrong with that.

Thanks for the response. Please keep it coming. Again, I need the company right now.

Hang in there. I know how it feels too. I have OCD and have had it for a very long time. My earliest recollection being in my teens. Mine involves organization, scheduling, planning, punctuality. But it also has an offshoot that really truly sucks, and that is skin-picking. I've been obsessed with my skin all my life. From childhood where I literally lived in fear of having a scab removed before something healed properly, leaving a scar- to teen years when I was terrified of acne. Funny how these things work, because I had none. I've been blessed with a wonderful natural complexion, and to date (I'm 30) I have still had no real problems- other than those I create myself. At my worst points over the years, I was spending 2-2 1/2 hours a NIGHT picking, checking, obsessing. I was leaving scars where there were not even blemishes, and CREATING a skin problem in various areas all over my body. It really truly sucked. It also contributed to my reluctance to leave the house, and eventually to my depression. In therapy, I've been told that OCD is a relative of Anxiety Disorder- that it (and other select disorders) are a part of AD. Until I understood that, I was starting to think I must truly be crazy! I mean OCD, Anxiety Disorder, Agoraphobia, Depression- all four? I understand now, that the agoraphobia is the anxiety disorder out of control. The depression is chemical in nature (in the brain) but can be (and is for me) worsened by the anxiety, and the OCD. It is all a part of the big picture.

Rather than get stuck on the diagnosis' and terms, so my therapist tells me, we have to focus on feeling better, and moving forward with our lives. If this requires medication, therapy, then we do what we need to do. I agree 100% with Aaron. We don't stop for a second to question medicating other medical conditions, we have to treat this one the same way. I have done what you did in the past too though. Weaned myself off Zoloft years ago, took a tumble. Tried it again cold-turkey once because I literally couldn' afford the prescription & had no insurance. That rock-bottom was 10 times worse. Now I listen to the docs, they are the experts, and I find my life is better for it. I know it's hard right now, for sure, but hang in there. You are not alone :)

Yes I have OCD......I am a clean freak and everything has to be in its place ..I wash the floor everytime I go out and before I go to bed .........there CAN not be a dish left in sink not even a fork or knife........My housework is done as soon as I get up and bed made as soon as feet hit the floor lol..........there was a thread on this I will look for it and bump it up okay ......take care and God Bless.......Lyn

Lorieann75 said...
I understand so well snickersmom. There have been dark periods in my life where my obsessions seemed to be in "charge" and I felt like an utter slave to them. Proper medication makes SO much difference. I still have "flare ups" but now they are easily 1/4 what they once were. I went through a similar issue with Zoloft. I was on it for years, and at a steadily increased dosage. Up to 250 at the highest per day, and even then it stopped working for me pretty much, at the four year mark or so. It's different for everyone though. I did have the weight gain too though. I'm now on Wellbutrin XL, and it hasn't brought about weight LOSS (I'm working out and dieting to do that) but I DO feel tremendously better. My advice is to stick with what works as long AS it works. Talk to your doctor regularly too. My therapist explained to me once that resisting therapy and meds can actually be a part of anxiety disorder for a lot of people. It was for me also. I went through stages where I felt "I can do this alone" or "I'm cured" but I had to remind myself, how quickly I could backslide. As Aaron says, a diabetic can't just "will away" the need for insulin. I have to wonder then, if our occasional desire to stop taking our meds is not as the therapist said- another part of our disorder in reality.

Hang in there. I know it's hard, but I think it's fantastic that you have your mom to confide in! I really don't confide in anyone about my worst obsession. Most people find it so strange and unusual that they simply can't relate at all. That makes it difficult. I did once find a good support group online for it, but sadly it as almost all members from Europe and the only problem with that was time zones. I rarely found myself with a person around, they were all sleeping when I was awake and vice versa :) Wonderful folks though. If you can find a good support group for your OCD it might make a big difference for you! I'm just so used to a constantly active board that I tend to lose focus if it sits a long while without active posts.

Lorieann...Thanks so much for your post. I guess I was going through a "I'm tough enough to do this alone now" thing and I realize that I'm not and I will be on Zoloft or something for the rest of my life. But that's okay because I think about people who've had OCD who didn't know what it was or before they discovered there was medication for it and oh, how they must have suffered. I feel really blessed that it is diagnosed now and there is treatment for it. I haven't been back to my therapist because she's not a specialist in OCD...there's not a specialist in my area...and we went about as far as we could go. Going back now is just one of my compulsions...asking for reassurance, having her tell me that it's not me...it's the OCD...stuff like that. I really have to do the cognitive behaviorial therapy on my own now I guess. Like I said, I was doing really well and I never should have lowered my meds. It's a hard lesson learned.

I'm sorry you don't have anyone to talk to or any kind of support. I talk to my mom about my obsessions but other than her and my therapist, I don't tell anyone either. They wouldn't understand...and how could they when even I don't understand them. But if you need someone to talk to, please contact me. You don't have to tell me your obsessions but maybe we could be a support system for each other and others.

I'm a member of the OCD Foundation and they used to have a pen pal service where you could e-mail others with your similar obsessions and/or compulsions but they don't have that anymore. Plus the people I was corresponding with started to get better just as I was diagnosed and I think they didn't want anything to derail their success which I completely understand. You should check out the OCD Foundation website though...it really helped me a lot when I was first diagnosed. I still go back there from time to time and see what they have. I'm also a member because I would love to find a real cure for this so other people don't have to live with it like we have.  I've been living with this on and off since I was in junior high...which makes it well over 20 years. I can look back on those periods of my life and see it now. I didn't know what it was then and I sure couldn't talk about it then.

And everyone is right...If I were diabetic or had a heart condition, I certainly wouldn't stop taking my medication so why did I think I needed to stop for this? That just makes so much sense but I didn't see that when it happened.

Gosh, you guys really have helped me feel better. It's just nice to know you're not the only one that feels like this and that there are others out there that understand...Still, I look at my friends and I'm a little jealous that they are "normal" for lack of a better term...I know having OCD doesn't make you abnormal but it sure doesn't make life easy, does it?

Anyway...thanks again for the message. We should keep this going and maybe we'll get a regular support group going at a time that is normal for you.

 

Lorieann75 said...
Thanks for the information on the OCD Foundation! I didn't even know it existed. Several years ago when I was first properly diagnosed (like many, that didn't happen until I'd already dealt with it alone for many yrs.) I remember searching the web and I just didn't find much info back then at all. I'm sure now there is more information available, and thank goodness for that. My fiance is such a wonderful listener has been on this journey with me now for years, but even he can't "completely understand" because as you say, our obsessions are not always "rational" and mine not at all- so I guess they can only "relate" so far. That's where I can feel isolated sometimes. But you know, it's wierd- because the one time I did have a group of people I spoke to who had the same obsession as mine? We tended to "trigger" one another by discussing our obsession. LOL Talk about a catch-22 :) So maybe it's best to support others with different types of OCD? I'm not sure, but support is always welcome!

I sometimes feel like I might "catch" someone else's obsessions...LOL...but I think that's all part of it. I do agree that it is probably easier to support someone who has differest obessions than your own or to just have a general support group where obsessions are not really discussed in detail but rather we help each deal with the reality of being an OCD sufferer. I know I feel uncomfortable talking to anyone about my exact obsessions except for my mom and my therapist and psychiatrist.

I'm doing a little better today but I hate feeling guilty and anxious when I first wake up in the morning. Internally I'm panicking all day right now but I know it will get better. I think the increase in the dosage is helping already but I still have a bit to go to get back to where I was.

I hope you are doing well.

I'm so glad to hear you are feeling better! It is tough talking about obsessions. Just today I had a funny moment, when my Psychiatrist said she disagrees with my Therapist on whether or not neurotic excoriation (skin-picking) is a form of OCD or just an offshoot of AD. I had to laugh, because my very first Psychiatrist said the same thing, until I showed him an article on OCD, and on Trichotylomania (sic) Both disorders are so rarely discussed and presented "formally" in the mental health field (often they are under-reported, misdiagnosed, or hidden by patients out of shame) that most doctors don't even know what they are, and if they do, they classify them in different ways. I told her, you know, if the two of you can't agree on whats wrong, I don't know how you plan to "fix" it! haha It was all light-hearted, but it reminded me too, that we're all in charge first and foremost, of our OWN health. When we feel off, wrong, bad, down, or like we are backsliding, we must take the responsbility to tell someone, especially our doctors, so that help can be had. If we don't, and if we try to go it alone, "rough it" or just ignore it- we're almost asking for trouble. In my experience, one of the hardest things to do in my life, is ASK for HELP ;) Yet it's in doing so, that I have always found the light at the end of some very dark tunnels. I hope you are feeling great tonight!

Hi everyone,

I was diagnosed with OCD 10 years ago in grade 9 and ever since
I've wanted to study OCD to help other lost teens like I was. Now I'm
doing a project in school and I am actually DESPERATE for help. I need
a lot of people to fill out a survey for me but I only have one 
(myself- lol). PLEASE please please (I think I'm begging here),
can you help me?

 If you want to help, please click on the link below and I will
be forever grateful!

I really, sincerely appreciate it.

Thanks!

Sarah

*** Sarah please contact Administrator at Healing Well to ask for permission to post this survey or have ppl do it okay

You take care

I am happy to do it as I am severe OCD as well but again we need the admins approval for clinical studies and surveys and I am sure things will work out

** Email me if you want to talk about this addy is under name at side

LYN

Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 3/2/2007 5:58:02 PM (GMT-7)

I too have OCD. Have had it before they called it OCD. Got the formal diagnosis in 1989.

I obsess about anxiety. I learned in therapy in the 70's my anxiety came from thoughts. Ever since then I obsess about "what are scary thoughts?" I call it my Rubick Cube puzzle. I mean how many ways can you find to ask such a silly question? I wonder if it's possible not to know what a scary thought is? Do I believe the phenomenon? Is it possible anxiety comes out of thin air? Why are some thoughts more intense than others? Do little twinges count as opposed to overwhelming anxiety? You get the picture.

We really must be very intelligent people to be OCD. My Docs have verified this.

Anyhow, Prozac helped me (90%) symptom free for 17 years before pooping out. I am now trying to find a replacement. Lexapro didn't cut it. Luvox seems to be helping, but it's early. Three weeks today. We OCD types usually require high doses of ADs.

OCD is an anxiety affliction. Thus you are not alone on this board. Not in the least.

Best,
David

I was going to post a thread like this a couple days ago, but you beat me to it!!

I was on the verge of believing i was crazy because i would have the scariest thoughts that i just couldn't get out of my head.  when i read the book 'Brainlock', I was so relieved that people go through a number of strange things when dealing with OCD.  I suffer everyday with it, and it's horrible.  some days are way worse than others, and when i'm worrying about something to do with my health, i have to really try hard to remind myself that it's ocd, and that i'm worrying over nothing.  that part is so hard to do, as your worries still stay in the back of your mind.  i'm amazed at how many people responded!!!!!  i'm always here to talk too!!  i've been looking to talk to people about ocd, as it makes me feel so much better!  take care and talk to you soon!

Thanks for that link ....

Snickersmom
You dont have to copy n paste other post into your post each time as we will read all the posts I am sure lol
being OCD I know I do
Just a suggestion and a time saver for you
Take care all
LYN

Hi,

Doors12,I agree could it be an auto immune disease?  Yes, I definitily think it could be I was recently diagnoised with lymes disease.  I have problems with anxiety .  My daughter who is 9 is on prozac for anxiety.  I think she has Lyme disease as well.  will get her tested at a Igenex lab.

I think alot of illnessess could be due to some kind of toxin or auto immune disease. Somehow we get unwanted bacteria in us humans and it literally goes to our brain.

But Lyme is a spyrokette similar to shipilus.  It stays in your body for a long time and slowly does alot of damage to the nervous system.

anyway something to consider!!

I just cannot comprehend why this information isn't part of the public consciousness. Good luck finding a counselor or psychologist, psychiatrist that will explore an autoimmune connection, even if you make them aware of other strange physical complaints.

They will write you a script for an SSRI and tell you it's a Serotonin issue, or even worse, they will try to cure you with cognitive techniques. Not that there couldn't be an element of Neurotransmitter issues as well - I believe there is more Serotonin in the intestines than in the brain...