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Don't want people to look at me-help!!!!

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Posted 11/11/2006 10:34 PM (GMT 0)
I have depression and anxiety, that much I know. Lately I am worried I have social anxiety.

Sometimes I want to keep the lights off in my classroom so the kids can see the board better AND they can't see me. Not ALL the time, just sometimes.

I was also afraid to go to the grocery store the other day. I was afraid the peole would be looking at me.

The other day a man came to look at a leak in my mom's house. I was there and went into my room so he wouldn't see me. I then went to the tv room once i knew he was somewhere where he couldn't see me. I just didn't want him to see me.

I don't know why I don't want these people to see me, I just don't. Someone tell me what you think. I have a while before I go back to my shrink.

Posted 11/11/2006 10:49 PM (GMT 0)
Maybe you just don't want people to know about your anxiety?

Maybe your having an extreme case of phobophobia (sp?) where you fear someone will see you have a panic attack in public?

Either which way, when I go to Target, I don't like people looking at me either, I really don't. I avoid most people's gaze when I'm walking around and panicking.

But maybe you should change your thought process to something positive? Like, maybe that guy who came to look at leak in your mom's house thinks you're pretty dang cute? And then get all confident and prance around the house.

(that's what I do when a cute guy stops by to fix something.. hahahaha it fixes the anxiety)

You just have to rework your thinking patterns, big time.

Your students look up to you! You teach them everyday!! They look to you for support and have their minds grow into healthy, happy adults. Think to yourself, rather than worry about what they think of you, "am I going to help these kids towards a brighter future?"

They need to remember their teacher, as I have a few teachers I still remember as well. I wouldn't remember the teacher that always kept me in the dark. (so to speak)

I hope this helps Bubbly. *hugggggs*

Twiggygal~
Posted 11/12/2006 3:44 AM (GMT 0)

I know what you mean...when I am going through a rough patch I find it very difficult to talk to people (the words don't come out right sometimes and I have a very short attention span), and find myself avoiding them big time - I find it exhausting...I think it's because I have all this nonsense negative stuff running at full speed and it feels like there's no room for conversation. When I am running on all cylinders as I am now, I am a bubbly, noisey, sociable person lol - thank goodness I get a break from the quiet Maree lol.. :-)

Maree

Posted 11/12/2006 3:49 AM (GMT 0)
See, it's not everyone and it's not all the time. It's just every once in a while with my students. The grocery store incident was the 1st time it hapened with peole in public. The fix it guy was the last time it happened. It's always strangers. It hasn't happened with anyone in my family.

Maybe on a deeper level, it's just me not wanting people to see what is wrong with me, but right now I don't see that. I just don't want certain people to see me and I never know when it's going to happen and I will get the feeling.

It may be my depersonalization showing up.

Posted 11/12/2006 6:32 AM (GMT 0)
This is kind of a deep and question and ignore me if I dig too far..but have you at some stage in your life had a stranger intrude into your life causing harm or fear? Could this be bubbling away in the background somewhere?

Maree
Posted 11/12/2006 7:51 PM (GMT 0)
That I know of no, I haven't had any bad expeiences with strangers. I may ask my mom. She may remember things that I don't.
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