Very back and forth...anyone else?

My panic and my ability to deal with it seems to go very back and forth.  Sometimes I'm rational about it, can see it for what it is and relax through and work on facing my fears...at these times I do pretty well.  Then there are the times that the panic is so so intense it seems to own me, it sweeps through over and over and over.  I can't think rationally, I can't relax or talk it away and I'm pretty well frozen in my chair.  My negative thoughts consume me, things like, what will happen to me, how am I going to get through this day, what if I never get better, what if I get worse...etc. 

I know that this cannot hurt me, but the fear of feeling like this forever is so strong.  Funny thing is, I've been through all this before...have been dealing with P/A and agoraphobia for 17 years.  I have years of proof that none of my fears will come true...they haven't in 17 years they won't now.  I guess I start to think that this time is different because the panic is soooo intense sometimes.  Why is is that I can't get my body to believe any of this and calm down?  I'm also terrified to be home alone, which only started a week ago, but creates days of living hell for me. 

Anyone else have these problems, or any advice.  Facing three days alone again and just don't know how I will manage it.

Thank you to everyone here, this site and all of you are a small miracle in my life when I have no where else to turn.  It is comforting to know that I am not alone in all of this.

Jacquie

when severe enough, the panic does stop most sensible thought and people will sometimes hide under a table or refuse to leave a solidly constructed building, or sometimes will freeze up and be unable to move, these things must all be accepted as typical and not feared or worried about, as no harm ever happens from them

a big dose of valium type meds as needed would help a lot and let you go places and do things and get back some self confidence

Hi there, I know exactly how you feel.I have good days and bad days,good weeks and bad weeks and I have been great for a few years straight. When I'm having a good day/week/month whatever!..I feel on top of the world and i think 'thats its...its all over, I'm normal again!!'..but then 'wham'...one day its back and plunges me back to square one! and I think that I'm just going to feel bad forever now. But because I have good periods I keep telling myself that it will pass because it has done before. CBT has helped me a lot aswell as meds!....Take Care

Oh yes hon I deal with it alot. Take things one day at a time and one breath at a time.

Hugs.

Bethers

Hello Jacquie,

Although, I’m a new comer to this site, my heart goes out to you. I too have been dealing with P/A and agoraphobia more years than I’d care to admit. One particular bout I have was so sever it lasted three consecutive days. I sincerely thought that my life was coming to an end, ( in all honesty, I was willing to let that happen.) I wasn’t able to calm myself down no matter what I tried to do, depression set in so badly my family considered Baker Acting me so I could receive some kind of treatment. The thought of being placed in a hospital with medication at the time was an overwhelming relief. Somehow through the depression, obsessive/scary thoughts, hiding under the covers, reading my panic/anxiety books, I did manage to bring my self out of what I refer to as the “dark side.”

I realize I must be vigilante when it comes to leaving the house but as you mentioned some days you know you can conquer the world but then there are the days when you don’t want to leave your bed. I am finally at a stage in my life I know in order to manage the panic/anxiety I will need to work very hard no matter what that nasty little voice in side my head tells me.

You too shall persevere because whether you believe it or not you have managed the panic/anxiety up this point. You have forgotten you past accomplishments, by writing down all you have overcome, you will recapture your inner strength which will see you through this terrifying period in your life.

You can reach me on messenger anytime you need a shoulder to lean on.

Always,

Leilani