First post and hoping for some advice

Hi I am a person who has suffered with diagnosed depression for the last seven years on and off. Recently have been having a bad time of it, and was thinking and feeling all sorts of irrational thoughts which were just silly (I realize that) and so went back on my medication which was caramel but is now called catalpa. The last couple of weeks having been swinging from extreme highs to lows. I have also found a real intolerance to being able to drink alcohol, I am only a social drinker but over the last three weeks there have been so many social events (husbands birthday, brothers 30th birthday and with it being Christmas has succumbed to social pressure and had a few over the last week or so. about three weeks ago I had a horrifying experience which preceded drinking the evening before (my husbands birthday) I felt like I wanted to self-harm and sobbed uncontrollably for hours. This was the day after. I hadn’t drunk heavily just a couple of vodkas and I managed to pick myself back up and get out of this but it really scared me. I keep a lot of what I feel to myself and in the past have never had these experiences, however, I have also felt physically shaking and have been retching following these episodes for a few days afterwards last night work commitments meant a few drinks after work and I got so anxious following a conversation I had with a friend that I had offended her, it drove me to tears and I ended up again sobbing at home later in the evening but not wanting to self harm. I am asthmatic so the stress resulted in an asthma attack and I have been put of steroids today by my GP but have felt lousy and really low all day. I wont be drinking again for the rest of the Christmas holiday, I have realized I cannot tolerate it but this is making me anxious about going out with people for social gatherings and it is my first married Christmas and I just should not be feeling like this. At the moment I feel abnormal and wish I wasn’t here, I just feel like I need to be on my own and am dreading Christmas day and all the pressures it brings. I am not sure how I am going to come out of this and feel so low do you think it is the alcohol that is making me feel even worse? As I said I only drink socially and am never drunk I only have 3/4 drinks at the most on all of these occasions

I think the combo of the AD med and alcohol could be a problem for you. I don't know a lot about this stuff, but from what I've read and heard, the depressive effects of alcohol can be enhanced when mixed with Rx AD's. So I'd definitely stay away from all booze. Also, the steroids you're taking for the asthma- could they be contributing or interacting? This was a question in my mind b/c I understand steroids can cause emotional disturbances. But I don't know if this is true- just something that rang a bell in my mind. Might be something to ask your dr. Also, do you have short days where you live? Seasonal depression is a big deal for a lot of folks. Have you explored this possibility at all? I feel for you- depression is so complicated. I'm with you. I also understand some about self harm-  . You can use Theramood Product   - just remember you're not alone. Hang in there.   I edited out the " self harm "  and was wondering what you have to do with "Thermamood Products?"I am asking as it is mentioned in each of your posts thanks Lyn Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 1/1/2007 8:45:35 AM (GMT-7)

Hi I just wanted to post and welcome you to HW.  There is great support here as yu already see.  I hope you stop by and become an active part of our wonderful community.