I think I might get fired - Help

My concern is that everyone else who works here is either an old friend of the boss or a relation of the manager.  I'm the odd one out.  Today I've already had two phone calls from the manager berating me for a minor mistake I made yesterday.  I'm feeling really vulnerable and scared.  Am I being paranoid or should I look for another job? No matter where I go I will still have anxiety...sorry for the rant, I'm just really scared and feel sick to my stomach.

I completely, totally, absolutely understand how you feel. Having anxiety I often wonder if I'm being too sensitive to what other people are thinking or whether I'm really in tune with subtle changes. It's hard to say. Only because everyone is different and everyone has their own issues. Even Boss's have bad days.

I had a similar situation. I began to feel further and further disconnected from my boss, that everything I did was wrong and pretty quickly developed severe anxiety attacks everytime I had to go to work. It was extremely difficult and not a great time for me.  And while this was absolutely the hardest thing for me to do, the best thing to ease my anxiety was actually to talk to my boss about what was going on. (Not personally mind you, just in my work performance)

I think part of the anxiety you may be feeling is due to you not knowing what your boss's thoughts are. (if we could only be psychic!) Good or bad, either way I think you'll feel better knowing what your next step should be or if you even need to take any steps.

My immediate advice (and I know this is what I needed, because at one point I practically lost the ability to have independent thoughts!) is to try and take your mind off it. Listen to your favorite music, read a book, get a magazine, play with your pet, needlepoint, exersize. Whatever it is that will help you to stop thinking (even for 15 minutes). I also tried positive self-talk. Things such as "You're a good person." "You're a hard worker." "You can do this!" Try imagining yourself as your own best friend and give yourself the pep talk you need. Sometimes writing down your own mantras can help.

I hope this helps! Best of luck. And remember no matter what happens, these are life's lessons that make us all better, stronger people.

Hey NervyMeg,

I spent several work positions constantly wondering about my position in the "office politics".  If you feel like the odd man out, or that someone has a grudge against you, you're probably right.  I'm not sure how that might impact your employment.  I got screwed a number of times. 

One time I was passed over for a promotion to Regional Manager because I wasn't male, not part of the "good ole boys network".  I was actually forced to train a less knowlegable man for the job I deserved to get.  Boy, was I ticked off.  The guy I trained expected me to work 24/7/365, and I ended up totally my car in an accident because I was falling asleep at the wheel.  Before I could sue the company, I had a person visit from the company VP, who told me I was actually the top manager in the company.  Information none of the "good ole boys" saw fit to tell me.  I quit with a nice severance package.

My last position i worked before going on disability, I got thrown into a job I was totally unqualified for, but the person hired to do the job couldn't get with the program.  I was so stressed for so long, but I hung in there because my boss supported me and knew how hard I was working and felt bad for putting me in that position.  She transferred to a new project, and my new boss didn't consider me a part of the inner circle.  I was totally left out of meetings I should have attended, and a lot of office politics were going on that I wasn't let in on.  I started buckling under the pressure, and had to take a couple of FMLA leaves after I had used up all my sick and vacation days.  She started to "get paper" on me for bogus working violations to get them in my personnel file.  She wanted to get rid of me early on, and basically ignored any communications from me.  After getting a couple of warnings in my personnel file, she fired me for a totally bogus reason.  I couldn't even sue the company for firing me, because Virginia is a totally "at will" work state.  That means you can be fired for virtually no reason with no repurcussions to the employer.

You really can't trust anyone in the workplace.  At one software training job, our boss was assured that a division wide realignment would not affect our department.  Two days later, at the beginning of our Christmas break party, we were informed that we weren't being fired, but our entire department was being eliminated.  We were told that we would have time after the break to find positions in other departments.  That turned out to be one day, as our termination papers were ready for us at the end of the day.

I will spare you anymore of my professional employment disasters.  Sorry I got so long winded.  Anyway, I guess my point is that what is going to happen, will happen.  If your boss wants you gone, there's nothing you can do that will prevent it.  Just try to carry on with your work as normal, especially since she has sought you out when she had a problem, then went on about her business. 

Holidays are stressful times, and maybe she's just personally stressed.  If she were going to fire you, or discipline you somehow, she most likely would have done it right before the holiday break.  That way you could clear out your things, and there would be no sign of you when everyone came back from the break.  The boss that fired me, waited until the end of the day, once my co-worker were gone, and had already stored up empty boxes so I could clear out my cubicle.  *****!  OOPs, sorry about that one.

Hang in there, tell yourself everything is normal, and keep on truckin'!!!

Leigh Ann

Hey NervyMeg,

I just re-read my long post, and I realized that I sounded pretty negative.  I realize I just gave you the bad parts of some of my previous employment.  I worked increasingly stressful jobs and the tension built up over years.  I thrived at being the person people went to when there was a crisis, but the anxiety was continuously building, and would hit me much later.  My shoulder muscles were so tight, I had a huge knot at the base of my skull.  My ex-husband did added greatly to my stress and anxiety, as he was Autistic (ASPBERGER's SYNDROME) which I didn't figure out until I kicked him to the curb(he was cheating).  He changed jobs seven times in the 4 1/2 years we were married.  He couldn't understand that even if he went directly from one job to the next, we were losing a week or more of his pay.  Heck, he even changed jobs once without telling me first.  I lost my job right after 9/11, and I kicked my husband to the curb by New Years.  It took a year for my shoulder muscles to relax, once I took time off from working and my divorce was finalized.

It's stressful sometimes in the workplace, but a long as you know you are doing your job to the best of your ability, that's what really counts.  Jobs come and go, but you have to take care of yourself first.  No job is worth your sanity or health.

Have a great day!  (((BIG HUGS!!!)))

Leigh Ann

Thanks for the support Lyn I really could use you sitting on my shoulder (I'll try and imagine it!!) I've decided today not to be intimidated by anyone no matter what they say (squaring my shoulders lol).  I'm going to be strong and get through this until I find another job.

Michelle, thanks for the kind words, I'm sorry you're going through this as well, it really rocks your self-esteem....Maybe we can hold each others "virtual" hands through this.  Good luck to you too.

I don't like mondays.....but who does??? Hope you all have a wonderful week