aching back

hey there, i posted a message here a week or so ago. i guess for the past month and a half or sore i have been having a aching sore back, and it actually made me really start to worry. i have a really bad health phobia issue. i can imagine like alot of you i have had everything from HIV to everytype of cancer. everytime i get an ache or wahtever i think of something bad right away. ok so a while back a feind of mine grandmother past away from lung cancer, i asked him at the time if she had known for a long time that she had it, he told me no, he said actually the only thing wrong with her was she was saying for a while before that she was having sore back aches. WELL, now when i started to get bad back aches out of no wehre for over a month guess what i have. so in the past month or so i have been to the hospital, and my docotrs about 5 times. i tld my docotr about this cancer and my friends grandmother, he said that my back pain is a mechanical issure not an internal organ causing back pain. but to reasure me he sent me for chest xrays and xrays of my spnie, they came back all good. he has put me on anti-inflamatorys and they didnt do anything, he also gave me muscle relaxers, and they didnt do anything either. my back isnt sore when i first wake up, it usually starts aching and hurting a few hours after i get mobile. and right for the second i wake up i am thinking and wondering and worrieing about it. i usually move my chest and back area around just to see if it hurts yet. i actually believe i have cause my entire back and front chest area to ache from this, lol i honestly twist and move my chest and upper back area around tghroughout the day thining about what else it could be. i the bone right in the middle of my chest started t hurt after twisting myslef and crap. i cant get this anxiety and fear out of my head for more than 5 mintues. and inside my head ( i know i have something serious, and KNOW im dying). i am so scared of dying anf think about it all the time. im always thinking WHAT would my wife and childeren do without me around. this is so sickining, its hard living like this. i am a bit over weight and i know i have a VERY bad habit of slouching over, espesially when im here on the computer, this is a time i really knotice my bnack starting to ache again. LOL..actually i woke up about10 this morning and just now that i am sitting here "slouching  and typing this" my back is starting to hurt. i have zanax and lately i have been taking about 2-3 a day, there .5mg. and whne the aching gets me really scared and my back gets me worried ill pop 1 and a half zanax and the pain usually goes away in my chest area and almost totally goes away in my back area. when i lay down in bed at night my back is usually good. LOL...SO my self diagnosis is that my back is initailly starting to ache from my poor posture when sitting and from being abit over wieght, then miced in with my stress and tension its goes outa control???. maybe huh:P. like right now my anxiety level is not that bad, because i half ass THINK that i am healthy and dont have any terminal illness, but

for example if it were like last night i would say "i know i have something and i KNOW i am dying". im tired of this, im tired of being scared, im a 33 year old male that feels like a coward. i feel like i am suck a let down to my family. i have been off work now since jan 2005, im on insurance benefits through my wrok insurance company. i am currently only on zanax when needed. up untill aprox 3 months ago i was on paxil, but it wasnt helping me at all. i was on paxil a few years back and it was wonderfull for me, but this last ime around on it, it did nothing exept made me have no sex drive, sweat ALOT and very weird dreams. i didnt tell my doctor that i got off the paxil, because whn i tell him of side effects i was having and stuff he would tell me that it wasnt the paxil he would tell me it was only my anxiety, but it was without a question the paxil, i have been on/off paxil for a few years now and i know the side effects and the withdrawl effects better than any doctor. so when i seen him last i told him i wanted to switch from my paxil to another ssri (not tlelling him i wasnt on paxil anymore). so he put me on Remeron. i am going to start taking them tommorrow (maybe tongiht). id love to have some reasurance about the sore aching middle and upper back. and some and any info on Remeron. you people here are so wonderfull and know how so many of us feel. thank you in advance. Francis

thanks for the feedback, umm as far as my friends grandmother passing away from cancer, it was a couple years back. but the thing is as soon as i have a problem i think of a situation ive heard about that i can relate it to my problem i am having at the time. and ya i know about the sweating and low sex drive on paxil how they are effects from the paxil. thanks for the feedback and im always open to yours and other people thoughts, thanks