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Posted 3/8/2007 11:11 AM (GMT 0)
:( :(

I was abused by my step father for 4 years, verbal, and sexual.
He used to touch me and try to kiss me when my mother wasnt looking, he sat me down next to him and watched **** while I was there and told me that I liked it, he made me feel things I was too young to feel, yet today I still question if it was my fault, if I did the wrong thing by calling the authorities. My mother still after 4 years doesnt believe me. She thought I did it to get rid of her boyfriend and make her miserable. When she slept alone in her bed by herself, without a partner I blamed myself for her crying herself to sleep. Her new boyfriend's son has a crush on me and he keeps touching me, and I told my mom it was bothering me and she screamed at me saying I think everyone is out to get me and that I think everyone is going to **** me and im freaking crazy. Today in school. Somthing embarassing nad horrible happened. I was doing my work when suddenly I felt a hand on my arm and I screamed and ran against the wall and started crying and said "dont touchme " uncousciously I jsut kept saying it. My teacher just accidentally bumped into me. All my classmates saw this. The man that abused me used to tellme I was gaining weight, im 100 pounds and im 5'6 and he did this to me, I cant eat and I cant sleep without being afraid someone will touchme , I wake up at night if I feel one little thing on me and I get scared my mom is right I do think eveyrone is out to get me. It hurts even more that she doesnt beleivee me. I just dont know what to do. sad
Posted 3/8/2007 11:30 AM (GMT 0)

I'm em so sorry to hear about this as no one should have to go though that and have you talk it over with your school cansler(sp) sorry it's late for me, but I really think that you sould talk to them about it as it is not right and I just hope that you can get past this and there are a lot of pl here that can help you as well  

   (((HUG)))  and wecome to HW

   Cowboy up

Posted 3/8/2007 12:14 PM (GMT 0)
Sad Girl....I am sorry you had to go through all that...You didnt mention but I was wondering how old you were. I know some people on the boards have gone through some if not all of this...I know also the depression board had a thread on it a while back. I do think you should seek some sort of counseling perhaps start at school. This would be no easy thing to deal with for anyone. Also, unfortunately, your mothers reaction seems to be typical denial from what I have read. It is not persay she doesnt believe you but perhaps that she doesnt want to because she would feel responsible. Many things could be going on there. Hang in there. The touching from behind I think partially affects most of us here at AP. I know myself and a few others either jump 6 feet in the are or are frozen in fear. Hang in there and keep us posted but please do see a counselor...The sooner you do the sooner you can find SOME relief.
Posted 3/8/2007 5:11 PM (GMT 0)
Hi SadGirl, I am so very sorry for all you have gone through and all your still going through sad . I too was sexually abused by my stepfather for 7 years when I was a child.  It was my little brother who told the school counselor and she called the police.  Our mother didnt know what was happening and she never questioned that it did happen.  So I cant imagine how horriable it must be to not have any support at all.  The jumping when touched is very common for those of us who have had been exposed to abusive situations it is called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and it wont go away on its own.  Counseling is usually the only was that we can get this under control and learn how to deal.

I dont know how old you are but I was wondering if you had a grandmother, dad or aunt or someone like this that would let you stay with them?  It seems that your home situation now is not stable and it isnt a heathly environment for you to be living in.  Either way please do know that there are people here who understand what your going through...we are always here

Posted 3/9/2007 2:16 AM (GMT 0)
Im 16 years old all my family is in Russia so I cant really go to them, I only have my mother and my sisrer. I see I have found many new friends here in which I dont have to be afraid to share my feelings, thankyou so very much for being supportive of me. Im kindof scared of telling people in person about this problem Ive tried to go to counselors and I go to them to tell them about this but I get nervous that they will think i made it happen and tell me it is my fault So I make up another problem..and leave the session dissapointed. This Post Traumatic Disorder you talked about..is this serious? Again..Thanks for all the support.
Posted 3/9/2007 3:42 PM (GMT 0)
Sad Girl...Counselors of all people should be the most likely to believe you. They are also trained to deal with those kinds of situations. Hang in there and please do seek help and tell them.
Posted 3/9/2007 3:51 PM (GMT 0)
sadgirl,

You are in my Prayers!!!

Stephanie
Posted 3/10/2007 2:10 AM (GMT 0)

No sadgirl you dont have to be afraid to share your feelings here.  It took me a while to be able to do that here but this is a safe place and you do have many friends.  Most counselors who are trained in the US are required to take a certian amount of credits or classes on child abuse.  I cant speak so much for other countries and their requirements in this though.  I would hate to think of any counselor placing the blame for such abuse on the victim.  I can see how you would think this though as you havent had the validation with your feelings from your mom and the abuser often makes the child feel it is their fault.  Trust me it is NOT your fault...not in any way shape or form.

Yes, PTSD can be serious if that is what is going on with you I dont know...but most people who have been abused in someway do have PTSD.  I will post a link for you so you can read up on it if you like.  I will be thinking of you...take care :-)

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/healthinformation/ptsdmenu.cfm

Posted 3/10/2007 4:38 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you els for your input we appreciate it...
Posted 3/10/2007 3:47 PM (GMT 0)
Glad you added your link hun good info there thanks
Luvs ya
Posted 3/12/2007 1:45 AM (GMT 0)
Have you contacted a women's shelter? They have excellent couselors and its totally confidential.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
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