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Posted 3/24/2007 1:53 PM (GMT 0)
Hello.. my name is Skeeter and I am 48 years old.  I found this message board and am hoping it is a place to find support and encouragement.  Sometimes I don't now if talking about it helps or if it is best to try to fight it and not think about it so much.

 

I have been suffering with anxiety and depression the past several months.  It got real bad back in December.  I am doing much better, but am still having trouble with morning anxiety.  It goes away once I get up and get moving, but during that morning time I feel like I am never going to get better. 

 

I have never had to take medication and been healthy all my life until I went through a lot of tramatic experiences and changes during a short lenghth of time.  I don't know if going into all those things is good or just focus on getting better.

 

I was the kind of person that always helped everyone else and gave advice.  This is very humbling to go through.  I want to be myself again. 

 

I have worries about medications. I am taking zoloft in the mornings and the doctor put me on Klonipin at night.  I was so worried about taking the Klonipin.  I was raised that you didn't depend on medication.  I had tried other medications first, but had a terrible reaction to seraquel.  I think that is what made more anxious.   My doctor put me on 1 mg at night not only for sleep but anxiety.  I take anywhere from 1/2 to 1 mg.  I went literally months without sleep and got really manicky.  I remember 7 weeks ago when I took the klonipin I had my first night sleep .  If I could get over having to take the medications and get through that morning anxiety I would be doing much better.  I am so afraid of building up tolerance, addiction, even though my doctor keeps saying at that dose I wouldn't.  Any advice and encouragment is appreciated.  I am sorry this is so long, but wanted to give y ou and idea of who I am and where I am at. 

 

Thank you for reading.

 

(((Hugs))))

Skeeter

Posted 3/24/2007 2:03 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Skeeter, I take klonopin too at night. I used to take it regularly at night, but once my anxiety started to go down now I only take it as needed before bed. I would take anywhere from .25 to 1 mg, and I never ever had any problems with becoming "addicted". The thing you have to worry about, as with ANY med, is to not just stop taking it abruptly after you've been taking it regularly for a while. There are a couple others here who have also had great experiences with klonopin. Pleaes don't let what you hear about addiction or tolerance or any of that sway you from letting it help you.

I think you'll find that all of of us with anxiety never thought we'd be the people to get it! A while back we shared all our personality traits we had in common, and being giving/helpful people was definitly one of them. It doesn't mean you've lost control or anything, it just means that now you need to focus on you!! You can definitly get better, and the meds will help you with that along with a good therapist to help you work out your thoughts and fears.

Anyways, welcome and I hope you stay with us and continue to share :)
Posted 3/24/2007 2:17 PM (GMT 0)
I just started with a therapist, but I don't know how that is going to go.  I have only met her once and I didn't get a very good first impression.  It was just an evaluation so I am going to give her a chance.  I am praying she can help me, but when she started talking about changing my meds I got discouraged.  I don't want to mess around with it again.  My family doctor has known me all my life and I trust him more when it comes to that.  He told me these therapist couldn't perscribe medicine and that I was on the right medications. 

 

Thank you for replying.  I worry about the klonipin most of all.  If I break it in half I get about 4 hrs sleep but after a few days I don't do as well the next morning.  My doctor said I was trying to go down too soon.  I started taking it down after the 2 week because I felt better.  I try to take the losest dose I can get by with, but he said it was important now for me to get sleep and get into a regular sleep pattern.  It just worries me to death to think I have to depend on it, but then I remind myself how I was back in December.  I know I should be thankful something was out there that gave me relief.

 

I appreciate the advice and support

 

Skeeter

Posted 3/24/2007 2:21 PM (GMT 0)
Hello, Skeeter.

It seems like you and I are a lot alike in many ways. I've been the "rock" in just about any relationship I've ever had. I'm a consultant and make my living by giving advice, basically. When the tables are turned and a person like me or you succumbs to something like anxiety, it can really throw you for a loop. Before I got really, really bad my anxiety would also hit me worse in the morning as well as late at night. It's not an easy way to start or end a day!

I've had an anxiety problem for a couple of years or maybe longer. My first really "dark" period came in October last year, and that's when I was diagnosed. My second really dark period started about five weeks ago, and it was during this time that I finally decided to pursue treatment for the anxiety. The time had come and there wasn't really an alternative. Anyway, I finally started taking my Klonopin last Sunday and I have so far seen a dramatic improvement.

Do not feel bad about it. People's bodies don't always function like they should, and anxiety is just another condition a person can have. There's no shame in having it, and there's no shame in doing what you have to do in order to deal with it.

As I said, I'm new with Klonopin, but I have researched it the point of exhaustion. Provided you have a good doctor to work with, tolerance and dependence shouldn't be much of an issue for you. The fact that Klonopin has a long half-life means that it's one of the easier benzodiazapines to taper off of, if you ever have to. If you have trouble, I believe it is typical to switch to Valium and then taper off of that. I really wouldn't worry about this. If the Klonopin is helping you, just try to be glad that it is and cross the other bridges as you come to them.

Coming to this forum and talking about anxiety has helped me a lot. Your mileage may vary. It could be that it may be better for you to simply occupy your mind with other things. However, the fact that you're here now suggests you do need to talk at least some of the time, and there's no harm in that. Do whatever you have to do.
Posted 3/24/2007 2:33 PM (GMT 0)
Yes.... you do sound a lot like me and I think you are so right.  It is hard not to feel shame.  I was the rock for all my family especially the past 8 years.  We went through a lot of stress.  My world turned upside down.    The doctor said it was too many tramatic changes too fast.  I thought I was doing great through it all.  Helping everyone else with it taking care of things.

I am doing better, but it is that worry in the mornings and feeling like you have to fight through it all the time.  I keep pushing on though..it is better than the alternative.  I really need the encouragment and support there is no doubt about that.

Thank you

Skeeter

Posted 3/24/2007 7:51 PM (GMT 0)
Skeeter - a good therapist is crucial if you are going to go the counseling route. The therapist I started seeing first somehow turned my sessions from trying to figure out why I was so anxious and scared into "lets talk about your past and your relationship with your parents". I just went along with it because I thought it was going to help, but we never got back to the real issue! Needless to say I dropped her, but I really felt like I wasted time that could have been helpful. Also, she started talking about weird alternative stuff, like humming "hu" (apparently another word for God?) and eating according to my blood type. Yeah... so anyways, if your next sessions with the therapist leave you feeling discontent, please find another one! :)
Posted 3/24/2007 11:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there ........I have to say I have a really good relationship with my family doctor and he does take the time to listen to me and give his input as well ......and to Cait ( daughter) as well
He treats my anxiety and counsels me as well..........
His is great with both Cait and I
We tried a therapist both Cait and I for grief therapy and other things and she was not a listener she was more concerned with writing in book
Cait refused to go back and told our Family doc that she preferred him to talk to him as he LISTENED and showed total empathy.......I agreed vehemetely(sp)

I also was the caregiver and Parent(s) for all siblings I grew up real quick and became a mother atearly age in the sense of their needs and comforts

I owned a Retirement Home and had all that responsibilty as well ...til I became to ill with other diseases
Then I went to the role of caregiver for mom til she passed away a yr ago and now am caregiver for (step) Dad.......
I have always had the role of Responsibility and did and do it well even with the a/p and benzos
I function very well on them as well as potent opiates for Diseases I have

Before doing any tapering or thinking that Valium is the alternate med to use for this PLEASE do talk with your doctor about it
We can only offer our input here and support
Not medical advice ........

Personally I believe it is great to come here and share our stories get input and support in order to help with the battle we face daily

I wish you all the best and do keep us posted please........Be well
LYN
Posted 3/25/2007 12:07 AM (GMT 0)
I wasn't giving medical advice, Lyn. I merely said that when and if the time comes that his doctor wants him off Clonazepam, it has a long half-life and is one of the easier benzos from which to taper. I have read that Valium is occasionally subbed for people who have trouble. The point was not to give medical advice, but to assure him stopping Klonopin can be done without a great deal of discomfort.
Posted 3/25/2007 2:51 AM (GMT 0)

Thank you all for your advice and support.  I have a great relationship with my family doctor too.  He and his nurse, I feel saved my life.  He sat with me and counseled me once a week for about 6 weeks.  He has been my doctor for half my life.  He is seeing me once a month now, but I still worry over having to take the klonipin. I worry about taking it even though I know it gave me so much relief and I need to take it.  I finally got sleep and it helped my anxiety.  It also helps with the IBS.  I can't even tell you how sleep deprived I was. 

I also took care of my Dad for 8 years.  He passed away in Dec. 2004.  That year my husband got hurt at a coal mines.  He is retired now.  My Mom now is in early stages of alzhiemers.  That is just to name a few changes that happened.   I started have some health problems last June.   I had always been healthy and thought I was doing so well.  The anxiety got bad in December then I started having problems feeling depressed.  I have been doing better the past few months since the zoloft and taking the klonipin at bedtime.  I still have days I get down and I worry about things.  It is hard to break that cycle.  I am working on it and hope finding this board will give me the extra support I need.  It does help to feel you aren't alone.

Take care and thanks again..I pray you all have a good night.

Skeeter

Posted 3/25/2007 5:38 PM (GMT 0)
I know that Debaser I was only letting Skeeter know
Please do not think I am on you all the time .......
Valium is being tooted lately as a Cure all and IMO is is a great med but not the cure for everything
I have been on it for more than 30 yrs now take ONLY as needed which lately has been rare......
Be well
LYN
Posted 3/25/2007 5:49 PM (GMT 0)
Skeeter
I totally can empathise with you in so many aspects and I am sorry about your Dad and now your Mom it is very hard to deal with
I have crohns so I kinda know what you are going thru
As for the worrying I take a med ( trazadone) that stops my stinking thinking and worries at night especially when I am really bad at night time ........
You have obviously been thru hades and back and I am glad you have found us here many great ppl and support is always here
I am glad the klonopin is helping you out right now

A few months ago I experienced the worst Deprssion ever in my life I totally lost it and shut everyone out BUT finally I did get past it .....its hard but the ppl here helped me out so much and supported me thru it all I cannot ever give back as much as I have been given from HW and the ppl here
I do hope you will stay with us and get the support and empathy you need
Be well
LYN
Posted 3/25/2007 7:04 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Skeeter,
Welcome to the forum. I neve had problems with depression or ancity until about five or six years ago. I did not want to face the fact that I was depressed whitch of course made things worse. z Everyone here is giving you some good advice and support. A good councilor is inportant. Mine is and he does not try and change my meds. He thinks that is up to my family doctor. I have a real good relationship with my family doc. Lots of luck to you. All these feeling are real and I hope you feel better soon. Come back again.
KodakPuppy
Posted 3/25/2007 9:09 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks so much for the kind welcome.  The last 2 days have been pretty good.  The warm sunny weather helps so much.  I started a little garden yesterday.  I am taking it one day at a time.  Working on breaking long time habits of worry and over thinking.  Learning to live in the present... I know we can't change the past and only God knows the future.  Sometimes I just have to stop and say, "one minute at a time"  instead of one day :-)

 

Thank you again for your kindness and support. 

 

(((Hugs))))

Skeeter

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