Hi, I'm home.

The next week (hormones , first week home and school holidays ) is really going to be the tester.

I've learnt some good ideas while in there, just got to remember to keep practising them and will see my pdoc to start intensive CBT in a weeks time.

The people in my ward which was especially for anxiety and depression were wonderful and supportive and it felt like home only safer.

It's now one small step at a time and being mindful of each of those steps.

Thanks everyone.

I even had a big test today, I had to take my youngest to a birthday party in a real busy place. I took the other 2 bowling while there and even braved the shops. The first part of the car trip was a bit nervy but I made it without any major panic.

I don't know if I'm now suffering from the after effects or if it's due to being physically ill. (I've had a rotten heavy head cold for a couple of days now.) I just feel really down so I'm trying to practise what I learnt which is to accept I'm having a sad sad feeling and that it's ok as it comes from a thought and a thought can't hurt you.I'm now adding in it's not me but my ocd as the thoughts have been there for 90minutes now.

I did pat myself on the back for earlier, and bowling was the reward (I even beat the kids ), here's hoping to a brighter day tomorrow.

We were taught to allow our thoughts as living with them is meant to cut them back and down, where as if you try to avoid a thought it'll definitely chase you around.

Glad to have you back Aussieangel and a now you are starting to spreed your wings here's to you girl the happy dance

  Cowboy up

It's getting close to my hormonal time which is usually pretty bad so I'm trying to keep my thoughts low rather then catastrophise the week.

I felt a bit low again yesterday and I have to go to the shops today so there's a bit of anxiety there, but I need to beat it as we're hoping to drive to Queensland next month (around 10hrs) so I'm not going to let a 10 min car trip win.

Breathing is one thing I try to practise regulary, just thinking of the word will normally make me conscious to take some deep slow breathes.Using a watch to time your breathing for a minute and then trying to slow it down over the next couple is another little trick I use.

Hi Janet,

The car trip was harder then I thought. I sat there breathing to my watch. I think it's my hormones starting to kick in and so I've booked my daughter in for a haircut which means I really really have to challenge myself and drive up to the shops twice. (she's getting a cut and colour so will be there a while).

I can feel the panic already (so I've just got to let it be. I actually try to visualise the panic as the monsters in the book living with it, while giving them the stunning names of Priscilla and Petunia) my own private panic monsters. It helps to bring me back down a bit imagining them running around me chucking panic tantrums.

Hi Aussieangel

Have you read the book 'Living with IT' by Bev Aisbett..it's done in cartoon form and actually conveys panic as 'IT' the monster lol..I think you will be able to relate to it really well lol..works for me!

Maree