Horrible thought stuck in my head, just horrible

I have had anxiety for the past 2 years and my worst fear for the longest time was the fear of going crazy, now a new fear has been programed into my brain, i have a fear of commiting suicide, now i think , well i hope this is all anxiety, i'm not very depressed , i go out and do alot of physical activities, i work, i hang out with friends, i have qiute a bit of fun. It all started from thinking of a very close relative who eneded there own life because of depression, i just could not stop thinking of her, i keep thinking that i will do the same. Now all thats on my mind is the the subject suicide, i don't want to die, i have not planned on doing it, the subject is just stuck in my head and it sort of is making me depressed, it just is something horrible to have in your head, i fear that from thinking of it soo much i might do it, can anyone tell me if i am suicidal?, or why i keep having the subject of it in my head..

I wake up in the morning and feel like doing stuff and i do!, i do every cool thing a 20 year old does, so i just am very confused why this thought is jammed in, i mean it can't be good to have this thought in my mind..

Any response would be awsome

thank you

mike

1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm).  Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.

  **Mike I certainly do empathize with you and I will have numbers for you to call for some immediate help with this .......

I dont know why you are at this point in your life but I do feel that you should seek some outside help as well as continued support on this site

PLEASE do not ( or anyone else) think I am picking on you by editing and putting rule in .

   I AM NOT......        I am doing so for YOU ......the HW rules and for those that may be 13yrs old and up reading this post

Please email me and I will gladly talk to you more on this and my reasons as well as try to help you figure out what is going on.....stay with us you do need the caring and loving support HW and all the great ppl have to offer

God Bless

LYN

Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 7/25/2007 11:48:27 AM (GMT-6)

Well, it's not good to have in your mind, but anxiety sufferers rarely end their own lives. I've seen stats somewhere but can't remember where. It's rare, though, and there were probably other factors involved when these people did do that.

I'm not really an advocate for talk-therapy, but perhaps this is one instance where it could be valuable.

And, you know, when I was having lots and lots of panic attacks I often thought of suicide. It would play through my mind a lot, and I was also suffering a secondary depression since my life had been limited so much. But, like you, these were only thoughts that would come and go. I never seriously considered it. I worried that if things persisted and I never got any relief that I would get that way, but I don't think it would've ever happened. And my life was pretty rotten there for a while, too.

So I'd say talk to someone about it and see if you can't divert those thoughts into something else.

Hello,

I had the same exact thoughts.  Of course, because they were thoughts of harming myself, people automatically thought that I was suicidal.  Farthest thing from the truth.

I read several books on this, including IMP of the MIND and also the panic away/linden method guides. 
These thoughts are just an off shoot of anxiety. That is it, and nothing more.  Because you fear it so, it ruminates. 

This is what I did (PS:  I no longer have those thoughts).  I told them to come, actually embraced them. When they would start, I told them "Is that all you can come up with?" 

"You can't do any better than that?"

No kidding, eventually the brain moves onto something else. 

Do NOT let them have power over you.  They are nothing, just mental garbage.

Hoping this helps you!

Take Care, and God Bless.

Hello,
I read your post and I am sorry you are feeling this way right now. I would like to see you work on your anxiety problems and you may be able to easily get rid of these thoughts that are plaguing you.
From the comments left by others, I feel the other members have shared some insight into their dealings with this same issue. That is good.
Please keep posting and stay with us. It will get better with time and help.

Dont apologise Mike it was how you were feeling
I felt bad having to edit but it is a rule

I just want you to know we are here for you and we do care

Hoping you will find all the support here like I have and become a constant member of this family at HW

I have these thoughts too. It got so bad that I went to a psychiatric hospital 5 times in one year b/c I was afraid that I was going to commit suicide. The Ocd suicidal thoughts will just pop out of nowhere and scare the ******out of me. When these thoughts get to be a bully I seek reassurance and look up 'ocd suicidal thoughts' on google. My therapist says that I am not supposed to seed reassurance but I need to know that I am not suicidal and that takes a few hours of seeking reassurance to feel better, if only for a while.

Are these thoughts persistant as in do they seem to keep revolving in your head all day long?

This is my worst fear that I will commit suicide.