Panic in the mornings

Hey there!

It has become a re occurring theme for me to have panic attack early in the morning. This morning was no exception. The one thing i did notice though, is i didnt allow myself to freak out too much. I instantly labelled it panic and allowed myself to feel it. Reminding myself i was ok. I took 1MG of ativan but still had ways of attacks. After about 45 minutes i took another 1MG of ativan.

I also did something, that i think helped a bit. I got outta bed and took my dog for a walk. I wasn't trying to necessarily escape the panic, but i wanted to try something instead of laying there stewing in it. Also, when i was in bed i noticed when i changed positions the sensations briefly went away. So i went for it. Got up, and took a brief walk. I reminded myself that i can turn around at any time and i'm safe.

It seemed to help some, so i wanted to share that with the group.

I'm also noticing that i'm beginning to become scared to sleep! I know that isnt good, since sleep is so important, but its a little unsettling when i keep having panic in the mornings. :(

I'm going to see my doctor today and maybe i need something to help me sleep. I notice i'm not getting good sleep and the slightest noise at night sends a shiver of fear through my body. Its like i'm a sleep, but on alert for something (if that makes anysense). Usually that sensation passes immediately, but its still scary that it happens.

Anyways, i'm off to ride my bike. I'm not looking forward to it because i'm tired and the urge to want to stay home is always present. But that just means i really need to do it :) so, I'm off for a while!

Hope everyone is doing well today!
Dan

Dan,

I would hesitantly call myself "80 percent cured" of anxiety/panic disorder. Still, mornings are tough for me on a lot of days. Ironically, I had a panic attack this early this morning. Panic attacks are rare for me these days. Anxiety isn't.

I think you're handling it quite well. One thing I might suggest is that if you find yourself taking ativan that often, you may want to talk to your doc about switching to a long-acting benzo. Otherwise, there may (may...not always) come a day when the ativan doesn't work for you anymore. And if it were me I'd hesitate to take something for sleep, too. I sometimes have trouble sleeping and I just stay awake and do something else until my body's finally ready. Eventually you will sleep. It may not be enough, but you will. And your body will adjust over time. It's likely that the anxiety disorder is playing a part in preventing you from sleeping, so work on that on a mental level before resorting to drugs. Just advice.

Good luck.

thanks everybody. A little bit of an update and some responses. I ended up not going on my bike ride :( A good friend of mine that i have not talked to in over a year called. He is going through some serious depression, so i ended up talking to him for about 2hrs. He told me it helped him a lot, so i feel good that i did that. Plus, tonight i'm going to ride my bike over to a friends house and maybe watch a movie, so i'll get those endorphins kicking in soon! Plus, i love riding at night. It sounds cheesy, but the cool breeze and cool air feels great.

Debaser, thanks and its interesting you say that about the benzos. Well, not interesting, but very insightful. My doctor has put my on a higher dosage of klonopin. She doesnt want to necessarily, she would rather have me on no benzos at all, but with the daily panic she would rather try to calm that panic flare up with something longer lasting :). She also said that i can use the Ativan if i have a panic attack. But she think the Klonopin will hold me, but it might take a couple days to kick in. In the plus five years of treatment i've never abused any of the benzos and i keep a really tight record of how much and when i take them. Also, you are spot on about the sleep meds. I asked her what she thought because i'm starting to develop a bit of a phobia towards sleep. I'm scared to sleep because of the panic in the mornings :( But she said she doesnt want to start me on more medication. Anyways thanks, and your intuition was aligned with my docs. Pretty cool how educated we all become during this process. I though would love some sleep help, but i think you're right. And I'm learning that small risks really help recovery. So thanks for the advice.

Its also great to hear that you are 80% clear of panic. Thats AWESOME!. I've had panic everyday this week, so i think its great when other people are doing better. It gives me more hope.

And thanks Kitt! Your gentle hugs are very appreciated. And you words of encouragement are too. You too JerseyCherries!!! Thanks all of you.
Dan

Thanks masterwewe! Yeah, as you read I've been going through the same thing. I guess a lot of people wont see this, but for all you peeps with panic in the morning, i just want to say good night. I'm "going in" and if panic is in my bed with me in the morning i'm going to embrace it. Give it a little hug. Tell it that it should just keep coming around :) I heard self-talk like that usually helps it go away, so i keep on trying... So good night good people here, and panic if you are listening, just come by the normal time... 6:45 ;)

bye!
Dan

Dan...For me Trazadone is a wonder sleep aid I sleep a full 6 to 7 hrs on it

The mornings might be ..anticipatory anxiety which you have to work thru if its that
I know I use tio wake up with heart just a hammering and It would be cause I knew I ahd to face another day of panic anxiety depression and pain.........

Just for a real qick thing to do read up on the " anticiapatory anxiety " and see if it may fit ......

I wish you all the best .......

LYN

Hi Dan.  It's me Nick.  I am assuming you had another rotten night sleep due to another stinken' anxiety/panic attack.  Just to let you know, I woke up at 4:00am as well and sat on the porch for a few minutes and then went right back to bed.

Okay, you took your meds at 11:00pm.  Are you worried about something that is making your mind "race" over and over again?  Because that will do it big time.  I think a longer acting benzo would do you justice however, I also think that you might want to ask your doctor about Seroquil or Rameron RD. Neither one are benzo's but when I take those two suckers at 11:00pm, I am "out" for at least 8 hours.  The Seroquil will help your mind from "racing", but only at a low dose like 150mg.  It's maily for Scizofrenia (sorry about the spelling), but it is also used for a lot of other things, so don't think you have Scizo. At really high doses, you would be walking into walls or having the feeling of being right out of it.  The Rameron RD is an anti-depressant that dissolves on your tongue.  It tastes like an orange.  I find that that one really relaxes me as one of the side effects is drowsiness.  Now if your not looking to take a heck of a lot of meds., I would ask for a longer lasting benzo. like Valium for a short period of time.  But again, I took Valium for a month and it was the same thing like Klonapin.  I didn't feel anything.  But you maybe different.

Nick

Hey Nick,

My mind isnt racing much, it more of the physical symptoms that are effecting me right now. The feeling of a heat wave radiating through out my body. General discomfort, increase in breathing and heart rate. The inability to relax. After a while my mind starts to effect things, but its really odd. Panic used to start in my mind, the worry would build up beyond control, and then i would feel those symptoms described above. Its been different lately.

I went to my doc. She wants me to try the same thing as i did last night. As it does take klonopin a few days to really get into the system. She is also afraid of continually adjusting my medication. Since i am seeing her 3 times a week now she feels that we need to try things for a couple days, and not just keep switching stuff around. The switch stuff around so rapidly can be really bad for my mind and body as well as just continue the cycle of panic.

So, i'm going to try the same thing tonight and see what happens :) It does seem that the panic is not as bad in the morning, that i'm not as messed up the next day, so i am less worried about it than before. Its seems like something that is holding me back from recovery, of course, and that to me is the worst part about it. With out a good night sleep, i cant seem to get things back together.

On a side note, today i take my dog in for his ultrasound. I'm optimistic, because he doesnt seem to be in pain and still has an appetite, that i wont need to put him down today. If i do than all bets are off and i might be off the radar for a little while.

Thanks for all the advice!
Dan

Thoughts and prayers are with you and your lil baby
I only wish the best for you both

Keep us posted plz

LYN

Dan,

I am so sorry about your pet, your best friend.  I would guess that is also causing you a great deal of anxiety even thow you know it can not be helped.  My oldest dog is in the same place as yours is and I cannot imagine her not being here, so I push the thought back.

I think your being extremely proactice in looking into the hospital program as it is obvious you want to get better.

Keep up your great attitude and my prayers to you and your lil doggie.

I wish you peace and strength to get through this difficult time.

Kitt

Dan, I am sorry about your dog. I too went through what you are about to go through but I went through it between March and April. My dog started getting sick back in early March. He vomited up every bit of food I fed him. Made repeated trips to the vet with him, they could not find anything wrong with him in his bloodwork. They put him on some medicine to stop his vomiting and that worked. He was refusing alot of his food. I tried giving him all his favorites, hamburger, cooked chicken breast, tuna, to no avail. He would barely nibble at stuff. He did have a prostate infection. That was treated and gotten rid of. He got to where he couldn't use the bathroom, number 2, but still nothing showed up in his bloodwork other than a prostate problem. I put him on fiber tablets, still couldn't poop, his blood sugar went spiraling downhill, never to straighten out again. Then 3 days before he died they managed to get some fluid off of his abdomen, must not have been able to before. It showed widespread carcinoma cells throughout his small intestine and peritonitis. He had no more than two weeks and was very ill. We had to say goodbye to our buddy of 13 years on April 5th. I started getting very stressed the month he got sick and was highly stressed and agitated about his condition leading up to his death. And I do believe I have not gotten over his illness and loss. I blame myself and feel guilty for things that I said to him that were not nice things right before he died. I got so frustrated at him for not eating and refusing his medicine I started yelling at him. I have yet to forgive myself for that and I live with that daily. His death has caused much stress and sadness in me. So I know what you are going through. If you can help me get over my stress maybe I can help you when your sweet doggy leaves this world. I haven't been the same since mine passed. Take care of yourself and your doggy. Give him lots of kisses. Mine gave me a kiss the night before he died and a tail wag as sick as he was.

Hi Dan. It's me Nick.  Hey listen, I am really sorry to hear about your loss of a family member.  It's a proven fact that people with pets live longer lives and have lower blood pressure.  Belive it or not, I can't seem to sleep tonight either.  It's almost 3:00am EST.  So I thought I would come on out here to see if you are having a hard time as well.  Just remember that your pet is in a better place now and not suffering. I have a cat named "OPIE".  But my first cat passed away from old age and I was just crushed.  Don't feel bad if you start to cry. Just because you and me are guys doesn't mean that we don't have hearts. Maybe when your ready you could get another pet.

Hey, I am really sorry for your loss.  I also hope you are getting some sleep tonight, you have been having a rough go.

Nick

its been a few days since i posted. I wanted to put a quick update.

I'm still have panic attacks every morning. At this point its a joke and they've become less of an impact. I dont laugh while its happening, but 10+ days in a row got me pretty used to it.

BUT my docs ( i see multiple -- They're colleagues and collaborate -- I'm that much of a mystery case to them) want to try Remeron. All i've read about this drug is the weight gain. Like everyone who takes it gains weight. Dang, i dont wanna be fat. but panic every morning is miserable. So i'm left to wonder. Tonight i'm supposed to start it. I'm thinking it would be good for sleep and the morning panic, i just dont want to get big (no offense to anyone over weight, i used to have a weight problem and it took me years to get to a comfortable place).

So thats my update. They figure that is 3.5 MG of klonopin aint doin' the trick, they gotta try something else and get me off the klonopin. That all makes sense to me...

I'll start a remeron thread to see what, if anyone has an experience. Oh, and the outpatient program I am now in is really great. Even though everyone there is depressed, maybe a little anxiety ( me being the only one with panic) its been really helpful so far.

hope everyone is hanging in there.

nice to here your situation is improving. Lack of sleep seems to make people irritable, so don't blame yourself :)

My dog is doing the best he can be. He seems to still have some energy and he is eating some, so that is good. I'm noticing his appetite is going down, no matter what i feed him, but he does eat all his food still through out the day.

I just tell him i love him and pet him a lot. Then i try and leave for a while each day to help begin with the detachment. I dont leave him for too long, but before i was in the house almost all the time and it was making me a wreck, and wasnt doing anything for him. So now i know i have to leave a couple times a day for a few hours at a time. It's really hard to leave him, but its necessary for the both of us. I know he wants me to feel good too!

I've been in a program the last 3 days that take up a bit of my day, and i forgot my login information so it took me a while to get back on the boards, but i'm now back.

Oh and nice to hear you stomach is doing better! Thats a great sign. And a good night sleep does the body and mind wonders!

Thanks for writing!
Dan