I haven't posted in a while...the news is not great

Hey all.  It has been a while since my last post, and the reason is I have been too busy, and anxious to even come online and do a post.  The past week or so has been pure horrible for me.  And, it seems to only be getting worse.  Maybe I am looking for some advice on what the heck to do.

 

I pretty much went all of July with no Xanax at all, and I was so starting to feel like the old me.  IT was great.  In the past couple days here, I am back to how I was before the Lexapro.  Maybe it is the stress of Mom, or maybe my tooth, or maybe, who knows what.  I had a panic attack last night while helping my Mom with the bleeding wound.  It took me over 2 and a half hours, finally I called 911 cuz I couldn't get the bleeding to stop.  In the middle of dealing wtih that, I had a panic attack, and took .5 mg of Xanax...normally I take .25 but I was VERY anxious.  It was horrible.  Finally, around midnight, she was out of the hospital and back home.  I went home then, and wanted to sleep, but couldn't because of my tooth.  No, I haven't gotten that dealt with since my anxiety is so flared up, I can't even bare to make an appointment with the dentist without freaking out.  UGH.  So, I have been dealing wiht that pain for nearly a week.

 

Then, this morning, got up, and I was sweating, and my heart was racing, I was in for another full blown panic attack.  I took more Xanax, and was able to calm down within the hour.  Now, the thing is, I have been so lazy all day.  ANyone else need a lot of sleep the day after a panic attack?  I am normally wrecked the whole next day after the attack.  Curious if anyone else deals with taht too.

 

Dad found a new doctor to take Mom to about this wound.  Someone who specializes in this kind of thing.  Her appointment is Thursday mroning.  I pray to God that there is something he can and will do to put a stop to all this bleeding.  I think that is a lot of my problem. 

 

SO, I sit here with anxiety and panic issues and a toothache.  All of which suck bad.  I am tired both mentally and physically.  My chest feels tight, and has felt tight for a few days now, along with most of my other muscles in my body.  I feel like the Lexapro isn't working.  I feel like I am holding on by a thread, mind you, this thread is about to tear.  I am stressed, and starting to feel sad, frustrated, and angry all at the same time.

 

Well, my family, I feel like I have vented enough for today.  I appriciate all of you who read this, and I appriciate all of you who take the time to respond.

 

I hope everyone is having a good day!!!

i'm so sorry things are going so bad for you right now. hopefully the new doc will be able to help get your mom better. and you really should do something about your tooth. i understand how hard it is to do it, but being in pain all the time is not helping. i know how hard it is to do something about it and i'm not trying to lecture you. i just think getting rid of the pain will help some. and maybe telling your doc about how bad your feeling is needed also. i really wish there was more i could do or offer you. please know your in my thoughts and prayers. i truely hope things get better soon.

First of all, thank you DEBASER for your input. I feel confident hearing that you have read and even experienced the heavy sleeping, or need to sleep after an intense panic attack. Unfortunetly, both last night and this morning were intense panic attacks. I have never thought of writing a blog, no, but I do keep a journal. Actually, I am 26 years old, and I still have a "diary" from when I was like 12. Yea, funny huh?

JERSEY, I never felt as if you were lecturing me about the dentist. I seriously know I need to go, and that relieving that pain may very well reduce my stress and anxiety. I am pretty sure I will be in the dentists chair Thursday, unless, of course, I chicken out. I hope I don't though. Thank you for your ongoing support. Love ya bunches!

JUNEBUG, I too hope this new guy will help my Mom. I know that would help me to feel so much better, not to mention her, of course, and my Dad, who is also stressing out pretty badly. Keep in mind, he too has anxiety issues. Pretty sure he gave them to me, along with his good looks. LOL. And yes, I have been missing out on sleep lately as a combination of my Mom and my tooth. So, that could be part of it, along with the Xanax, and the 2 panic attacks in the 2 days. UGH. I am so exhausted!

My plan now is to take my meds, have John rub my back, and pray to God that I can drift off to sleep. I neeed a good night sleep. I pray I get one.

Thank you everyone for the ongoing support. Love ya all!

Thanks a million Lyn. As always, your words of encouragement help make me feel better. I feel poorly again today. I slept til noon. I guess I needed all that sleep, or I wouldn't have done it, eh? I am still tired though. That isn't fun. I am tired of being tired. LOL.

Mom didn't bleed last night. Thank God. She called me during our huge storm to come shut a window, but that's about it. No bleeding. That is great. A night with no bleeding is a good night for me. I took some Tylenol PM before bed, and slept pretty much through the night for the first time in a long time.

Well, John is going to be calling from work...it his his lunch time now. I will update soon.

Thanks to everyone who is helping me through this.

Lots of love!

Kitt, thanks a million for your kind words. Your words are also always most comforting!!! I am actually preparing to take a nice shower, and a nap now. I take like 2 or 3 showers a day anymore. They seem to relax me. So, that is my plan for right now. I will check in later.

Love ya!!

Awww, thanks Mary. I wish you could give me a great big hug, gosh, I could really use one. Lets pretend like you just did. Ha ha.

I am comforted by hearing so many of you express how drained you are after big panic attacks. It feels good that something on me is, "normal" ha ha.

I look forward to the 2nd opinion we will be getting tomorrow. It feels like my last chance for relief from this wound. AHHHH.

Thanks for the hugs and the support Mary, and everyone.

Love ya all!