I need your help

Since then, it has gotten a lot worse. I don't like going places. Being around a bunch of people scares me. I don't like to go out. Or do anything I used to. I used to be very active and I played school sports and lived outside constantly. That has all changed over these past few years. Which you can imagine how hard it is for me to have to go to school everyday. I can't get up early without getting sick. Because, I sleep a whole lot and when I have school I can't sleep at all so that makes a huge impact on my day. And, I hate being in a class with people. I don't like being around people. I can't be around but 2 or 3 of my friends at a time. I don't like groups. Or speaking out loud. I have a really hard time talking to people in person. And I worry about the smallest things all the time.

Now, it has gotten so bad I often scare myself. I worry what it will be like if it keeps getting worse. I have been to many doctors for my joint pain and such and they have never found anything. I haven't told them about my depression or anxiety because they already think I am crazy and I haven't went back since it has gotten this bad.

Lately, I get depressed constantly. I worry constantly. Sometimes I am ok if I am very distracted. It usually gets really bad at night. A few nights ago I had a scare that was so much worse than anything I have ever experienced.

It started off like usual, just crying wondering why I always have to feel like that and can't be my old self again. I ended up in my bathroom floor in the corner in the dark crying, like usual. But, then it got much worse. I was crying so much I wasn't even breathing except every once in a while I would breath in very quickly. And I just had a lot of thoughts like I couldn't go on being that way anymore. I felt like I was someone else.

I would look out my door into my room and wonder who that person is that lives in that room. I didn't feel the same. I got really scared of myself. I had racing thoughts that really scared me. That has never happened before.

This lasted about 2 hours. It was really scary and I had never experienced anything that bad before. I just felt so incredibly scared. But, afterwards I felt like I was scared for no reason. It was really strange.

Sorry this is so long. I usually post in Fibromyalgia(although I am not sure if I have that). A friend suggested I post here, so I did. Well, any opinions or anything would be really appreciated. Thanks so much!

Hello and Welcome to Healing Well and the Anxiety and Panic Forum.

Depression is a strong mood involving sadness, discouragement, despair, or hopelessness that lasts for weeks, months, or even longer.

I am so sorry that you are in so much pain and sadness. I do not know if you have talked to your parents about your feelings yet but you should. I feel you need to see your physician ASAP.

There are a number of treatment options for depression in teenagers, including one-on-one talk therapy, group or family therapy, and medication.

Talk therapy is often a good initial treatment for mild to moderate cases of depression. Over the course of therapy, your  depression may resolve. If it doesn’t, medication may be warranted.

If you feel you need help please call this number:

1-800-273-TALK

I know I need to talk to my parents, but when I try telling my mom she tells me to stop talking crazy. I think because I am a teenager she doesn't take me serious only because she thinks I am trying to be dramatic. I am not when I tell her, I am 100% serious with her an I tell her that, but she doesn't accept that. I can understand from her point, but she can't from mine. I just recently told my best friend. I was so afraid she would look at me differently and not treat me the same, but so far she has done a good job. I made her promise not to tell anyone. She is the only person I have told. Except for people on here and stuff.

But, I can't get help until my mom comes to. I am going to try to talk to our school counselor when I get some time. I figure then maybe she can talk to my parents or something. That would be a step.

I do have Social Anxiety. Anything social scares me. I worry a lot. Obviously. Things that never bothered me before. I used to be funny and outgoing. I am outgoing some-what and funny at times, but it isn't the same. I used to be the life of the party. Now I wouldn't be caught dead at a party. I didn't even have a Sweet 16 party! Nope, all I wanted was to stay home by myself.

It is so hard to go to school due to that. Classrooms, speaking out loud, all that I can't do. I am going to have to speak out loud and the last couple times I did that I hyperventilated, my heart was racing out of my body, I was terrified, and shaking, thought I was going to die! It is so terrifying, but I can't say anything I just have to brave it because technically I haven't diagnosed so I can tell my teachers that. Things like that I have to have a doctors note so right now that wont work!

Well, I really appreciate the replies. I try my best to stay positive when I can. I try to do things that keep my mind occupied. I try my best to just live with it accept it because I know getting rid of it isn't going to be easy. So, Thanks to all!!!

Wow, thanks. Never thought of myself as inspirational!

I know my mom cares and loves me and all, but when it comes to me having a problem mentally, she can't accept it.

My parents all always bragging about me. How smart I am, my grades, my goals in life, how much I want to be a doctor and everything. And I have started early. To me education is the most important thing and thats what I would like to be able to focus on. It's a challenge with all of my problems trying not to think about them or just feeling like I can go to school and do work.

Sometimes I can't think straight and stuff and that is very difficult in school, especially test days! Right now, sleep is the biggest thing affecting how I feel everyday. During the summer I slept around 16 hours a day! I could get that much if I went to sleep when the bell rang at 3 in the afternoon to go home and got up at 7:55 when the bell to start school rings! I can't go to sleep when I get home because of home work and everything. So, it is really tough to balance it so that I get enough sleep to where I can go to school and, hopefully, not get to sick.

Sorry, I am going on and on. Gues I just need to vent! Well, thanks for being here! I really appreciate all the help and support!

On test days I feel like I am so worried about them that I don't sleep, so I am more tired. When I am tired(almost always) I can't think clearly. Everything seems spaced out. And I study for the test and I know everything and can ace. But, while taking the test I just get kind of lost. Although, I still do excellent on the test.(most of the time). I think that is mostly anxiety.

Sometimes its hard for me to focus and pay attention in class because I am tired and feel spaced out. I feel like I am incapable of doing anything. I slept during homeroom yesterday, I was so tired I fell right to sleep! My one friend who I told was telling my other friends I just didn't feel good. So, I am glad she can understand now that I have told her. Of course, it is hard because no one else can understand and they don't know exactly what I mean by 'I don't feel good'.

I just wish I could tell everyone. So, everyone would stay of my case and finally understand why I can't do things or why I don't feel like doing things. I have to make up excuses all the time because I don't tell people. It's like my life is a lie. I get so tired of living this way and just want to yell it out at people. I know I would feel better afterwards! I just can't get the courage. Or I have the courage and my anxiety over-rides it!

Well, I guess that is all for now. Thanks so much, I really appreciate it!

I am so tired of holding it all in. I hate staying to myself. I WANT everyone to know. My friends, family, and everyone else around me don't know who I am. They don't know the 'real' me. Why can't I just tell them? I want to so bad, but I can't. I have no idea what is holding me back. I guess it is anxiety and fear.

I have decided to write a letter to my school counselor explains everything. That way I don't have to say everything out loud. Then, I am going to give it to her to read and we will go from there I guess. I have to think of every way possible to tell people. I am so tired of it being this way. I just want people to know so I don't feel like I have to hide all the time. So, I am going to try really really hard to write that letter and get it to her. I think that step will relieve a lot of pressure. At least I hope it will. I know this is the right thing to do, but I don't know if I can handle it. BUT, I also know if I want to get better, it is a step I HAVE to take.

Well, thanks so much. I appreciate you guys being here. Thank you so much.

Thanks Jas!

I know I am not alone, at least in the world. But, here, I don't know of anyone personally who has gone through this. I know people all around probably suffer from the same thing, but you can never tell. I stay to myself and hold it in. I 'act' happy in school so no one knows, but even my friends have noticed the change in me, because I don't take part in anything and never feel up to doing stuff like I used to. So, I know I am not alone, I just feel that way.

Today, I wrote a letter explaining everything to my school counselor. I went to her office to give it to her and everything! Unfortunately, she had already left, but at least I did it! I am going to try again tomorrow! That's a BIG step for me, I think.

Well, I have to go, homework. Thanks! And yes, Jas, I wouldn't mind talking to you more often! It's always nice to talk to someone who can understand and relate so well! Thanks!

WOW! That entire paragraph you wrote described me!! I totally agree with everything. Except my school work hasn't really been sloppy. That is the only thing I work as hard as possible on. I used to not have to work to do my school work. It all came natural, but now I have to push myself to get everything done, and I still do really good on MOST things. I have found though that I have to try harder though. My teachers or classmates don't notice the change, but my friends do.

I went to the counselor's office and she was there. I didn't know what to say so I just said,'As my counselor it is ok that I tell you something personal right?' And she said yes of course. I said, 'In that case, here you go.' And gave her the letter. I was so scared. She opened it and was like close the door. And I was reluctant. All I could get out was 'no, actually I am going to...' and pointed out the door. She was like do you want me to read it later. And I said,' Well, just not right now." Thats really all I could get out. I was shaking and couldn't talk or say everything I wanted calmly. I got really hot and I could feel my face turning so red. She was like, 'Are you going to be ok tonight?' And I said yes. And she said,"well, is it ok if we talk tomorrow?' By this point I could hardly say anything so I just got out 'yes' the best I could. She could tell I was so scared and nervous.

BUT, I did it. It took me a while to get my voice back and be able to talk. When I talked it was like I was taking breaths inbetween each letter I said or something. And I was SO hot, scared, and totally nervous, but I kept thinking how good it was.

I can't believe I actually did it. I haven't stopped thinking about it since. I did it about 30 minutes before school was out and when I got on the bus, I sat with my friend and the first thing she said to me was, 'You aren't happy today." She can always tell when something is wrong. When I am really down or worried she can tell.

Well, I don't know what to say. I have a headache thinking about it. I can't believe I actually gave her the letter to read. That is going to change everything so much. I am shocked. Unbelieveable. I think it is so great that I did it, but I am SO scared. I braved it though. I gave it to her! I did it!

Thanks SO much!! I could NEVER have done that without the encouragement and support of everyone on here! Thank you guys SO SO MUCH!!!

Post Edited (TeNNiSd0C09) : 8/15/2007 5:54:52 PM (GMT-6)

I talked with my counselor today for a little more than 45 minutes. I was so scared and nervous at first and could barely talk. My mouth was dry, and my hands were the opposite! My heart was pounding. I did however enjoy it. As it went on, somethings I could talk about more than others. The others I just said yes or no the best I could. We talked about alot of stuff and she was very understanding and I could tell she really wanted to do everything she could to help me. She gave me alot to think about also.

I have to kepp some journals for the next week, for sleep and how I feel during the day, and go talk to her again in a week. I am actually looking forward to it. I enjoyed talking to her. It was scary and all, but I knew I was doing the right thing. A few things I was uncomfortable talking about and didn't say the things I should have, but I think it will be easier next time!

For once, I actually cant wait til next week to talk to her again! I feel like I am finally do something to help myself! It was such a huge step! I am starting to feel more comfortable about it all.

Well, homework is calling my name! I have to stay on my schedule so... I just wanted to let everyone know how it went! Thanks so much to all of you for supporting me and encouraging me to do the right thing!!! THANKS!