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Posted 11/8/2007 8:28 PM (GMT 0)
This might not be the right place to put this, but I'm starting to freak out.

 

My BFF is flying in tonight, originally to hang with another one of our friends b/c her mother was dying.  Well, the friends mother died on Monday.  The family is flying out of LA to another state for the funeral tomorrow.  This means, I have to pick up my friend from the airport (I hate LAX), spend half of tonight grieving with them, go to work in the morning and I'm already feeling guilty b/c my BFF will be home alone.  She was supposed to stay with S until Saturday afternoon but now is staying with me until Sunday.  I'm freaking out.

 

Why?

 

These are the thoughts that are running through my head. 

 

I need to go to the grocery store.

What time will I get to bed tonight.

What is she going to do tomorrow (hopefully rest)

I need to get to the grocery store.

What can I do to entertain her.

Where are we going to go and what am I going to wear.

I hate going out but she loves it.

What are we going to eat, I have no pots and pans.

What can we do Saturday afternoon.

Geez I don't want to see S b/c then I'll have to cry and what if I can't cry.

 

Of course this goes on and on and over and over in my head since yesterday.

 

Why can I not be happy she's coming in and have fun?  Fun, what's that?  Do I even know how to have fun anymore?

 

She's so laid back that if I said I didn't want to go out, she'd be cool with that.  But seriously, she's coming to LA and not going out.

 

What can I do to calm myself down?  I have to pick her up tonight, go to the store beforehand, play with the dog, clean, and oh yeah...eat.  In which I hate to eat.

 

I'm starving right now but am trying to ignore it, annnnd I'm sleeeeeepy.  I HATE the way I feel.

Posted 11/8/2007 11:24 PM (GMT 0)

I do not want to go to the freaking grocery store.... I have no idea what to get sad

Posted 11/9/2007 6:01 AM (GMT 0)
Ugh, you sound super anxious! Not a good feeling. A couple things.

Try and look at each piece of this puzzle as its own piece. Separate each piece and just look at one piece at a time. While you are looking at one piece, the others wont go anywhere, and if they do they wont go far. I know i'm speaking all metaphorically and stuff, but the bottom line is... You making yourself very anxious. This is something we all do, so dont feel bad about how you feel. Its overwhelming you, so its natural to feel this way.

Deep breaths and one piece at a time. I think you have way too many things going on in your head that you cant do anything. I hope that you're able to relax a little and really try to just focus on one thing. Also, sleep is good and eating is good. You blood sugar level can be really low, making you a bit foggy -- thus adding the the anxiety.

Eat, sleep, drink water (lots) and one thing at a time. Slow everything down. Everything. Start with you breath. Start with the way you move around. Start with how you speak. Just literally slow yourself down a little.

Take care of yourself and keep us posted. I know what you're feeling and its very overwhelming.

Dan
Posted 11/9/2007 2:22 PM (GMT 0)
I agree with dan, you need to slow things down a bit here.  You've already turned the entire weekend into a disaster and it isn't even here yet.  Take things one at a time, like dan suggested and just breathe!  You may surprise yourself as to what you can do and how much you enjoy this visit, if you will just allow yourself to.  My Dad had a saying that I always keep in my head at times when I feel myself spinning into the negative zone..."Don't borrow trouble".  Which to me means if there's no trouble in front of you right now, don't go looking for and borrowing it from somewhere else!  Sounds to me like you are borrowing trouble from everywhere you can find.  Don't worry to much over this either, it's so common in anxiety disorders, and takes alot of work to change this habit, but you can do it!  Try not to worry over these things so much (easier said than done, I know), and let things happen naturally.  Can you try to see the positive in these things instead of focusing on the negative.  And dan is right about eating too, you need to eat to keep yourself healthy and have energy.  When I don't eat, my anxiety symptoms always worsen and I feel miserable.

I'm really hoping that you will have a fun weekend and loosen up a bit and enjoy yourself.  Let us know how things go!  All my best to you!

Posted 11/10/2007 12:27 AM (GMT 0)
Quick update.... so far so good.....taking one breath at a time and trying to slooooow down...

Although, I'm getting ready to leave work and I'm feeling anxious b/c I don't know what to do tonight or where to go....plus, I'm tired.  She's been at my place resting all day and will be rearing to go when I get home.

You guys are great with the advice.  I have no idea how to say thank you other than THANK YOU...  it's really nice to have a safe place to freak out, if you know what I mean.

Have a good weekend all :-)

Posted 11/10/2007 4:58 PM (GMT 0)
I'm glad that things are going good so far, a little anxiety is normal, so don't let that get to you.  Just keep taking things a little at a time and remember to breath.  The anxious feelings are just that, feelings, and they can't hurt you, so just let them be there and go and have some fun!  You deserve it!  Keep us updated!
Posted 11/10/2007 5:44 PM (GMT 0)

controlled said...
This might not be the right place to put this, but I'm starting to freak out.

 

Try making it a little bit easier on yourself.  Can you take a sick day from work so that you can be there for your friend? Then, you could order food in and rent movies.  Right now, she needs you to be supportive.  I know it's hard because in a way, you aren't prepared for everything and it's all overwhelming.  I think not wanting her to be alone is you being a terrific best friend.

 

Take some time to write a list of things you are okay with doing. The airport is a mess so why not ask someone to drive with you so that it isn't too much for you? 

Posted 11/10/2007 6:16 PM (GMT 0)
controlled

Hi there, this is Kitt.  Great advice you have received and I am glad your taking this one step at a time.

As for your evening, I think it would be just fine for you to give yourself permission to keep it a low keyed evening.  Maybe a nice early dinner and than just hang out a bit.  I am sure this person will be ok with whatever you decided.

As long as she feels comfortable in your home, just be yourself and maintain your routines.  She may be enjoying a bit of solitude when you work. 

Remember to be good to yourself and recognize what a kind person you are in having this guest stay with you.  Keep on staying in the moment and don't let your thoughts run away on you.  Gentle Hugs

Kitt

 

Posted 11/12/2007 3:59 PM (GMT 0)
So, now that the weekend is over, how did it go?  I sure hope you managed to have some fun!  Let us know how you did.
Posted 11/12/2007 9:12 PM (GMT 0)
Yay! Everything went very well.  I kept it low keyed so I wouldn't be too anxious.  We had sushi Friday night, she was in heaven it tasted so good.  Then we drove to Hollywood down Sunset strip and shopped at the infamous Hustler store....she always has to go when she's in town.

 

Saturday we went shopping and then to Santa Monica to watch the sun set.  It was beautiful.  I think it was my first time to see it set while sitting on the beach since I've been here.  (I thought of you guys and your great advice)

 

Afterwards we went to my whatever you want to call him's house.  We visited for about an hour and then I was ready to go.  It's hard being there and not living there anymore.

 

Got home and went through some pictures.  Had a few drinks, very mild (Kaluha and Milk), and went to bed.  She went home yesterday.  I miss her already.

 

I still feel a little disappointment in myself for not having the energy to even make an effort to go out.  Oh well.  She had fun and so did I, that's all that really matters right.

 

Thanks for all the support.

Posted 11/12/2007 9:41 PM (GMT 0)

Kudos to you, it sounds wonderful............and don't you be disappointed in yourself for one minute, you did it your way!  That is awesome and to me it sounds like a dream what you did together.  The sunset was the best so bask in the sunshine now knowing how wonderful you are.

You made it, celebrate your success.

Many hugs to you.

Kitt

Posted 11/13/2007 1:58 AM (GMT 0)
I'm so glad that things turned out so well, and Kitt is right, you have no reason to be dissapointed in yourself, you did an amazing job this weekend.  The sunset on the beach sounds so wonderful and peaceful.  Be very proud of yourself for all you accomplished!
Posted 11/13/2007 2:13 PM (GMT 0)
I am so glad that you did calm down as per Dan's and Junebugs great advice

You had a great time and you miss her .........

I would think that you need to work on some Anticipatory Anxiety issues and techniques like breth( as mentioned) .........slow sown and take each day as it comes dont look for the bad in them all the time

I am so glad you thought of us whilst on the beach watching the sunset ......My fav thin to do since little ........

Kudos for a job well done ..........

Keep posting ........LYN
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