Stupid Worrying

Suzy,

Welcome to HealingWell and there is no such thing as stupid here in the forums.  Your anxiety is just as painful and frightening to you as everyone else's struggle with anxiety is to them.

You may have what is referred to as Anticipatory Anxiety...........I am blessed with that one myself. Common Anticipatory Anxiety Reactions include :

Feelings: anxious, fearful, angry, confused, hopeless, losing control, numb, sad, moody, irritable, guilty.

Behaviors: withdrawal from others or activities, disrupted routines, startle reactions, easily crying

Cognitions: preoccupation with possibility of trauma, concentration difficulties, self-doubt, worry, indecisiveness, memory difficulties

Physical complaints: muscle tension, headaches, gastric distress, sleep and appetite changes, fatigue

Talking usually helps. Share your feelings with friends, family, on here are all good ways to work through the anxiety.

Relaxation techniques: Try deep breathing, muscle relaxation, visualization (imagining peaceful scenes), and/or listening to soothing music.

Realistic self-talk: While we can't always control what happens to us, we can always control what we say to ourselves. It's important to keep things in perspective. Talk to yourself in reasonable ways. Ask yourself "how likely is my fear?" Remind yourself that you have coped before during other challenging times. Don't just dwell on the negative but consciously look for things you can appreciate every day

Now to address you worries about your daughter, some people just have a more stand-offish personality.  I am a hugger and my daughter is not. She never has been since she grew up.  She is not a cold person but her personality is just different than mine.  Try not to aniticipate that your daughter is "just like her Dad".  Let her be just like herself instead.

All the way through the teen years, you'll have to guide your daughter towards adult life, gradually handing over responsibilities and independence when she shows he can manage them in a mature way. Keep in mind she is also not you, and try to guide her using a method that fits her personality.  Remember every child is different.

I hope this helps and your not alone in worrying about your children.  I promise you that. :)
Gentle Hugs to you
Kitt

Hi suzy i agree with both Katy and Kitt. But on the other hand i do understand your concerns too! I am a worrier too it comes with P/A. But like kitt said you have to use different techniques to control it.I really do understand your concerns about your daughter.I come from a family full of emotional people who love to hug and kiss and talk about their feelings and i am the same way! I dont meet any strangers and i have deep compassion for people even ones who i dont really know.Although these personality traits have gotten me emotionally hurt alot of times i have had equal or more posotive results from it. So i dont regret being this way.But on the other hand i married a man that came from a family of people who dont really care about people's feelings,hardly ever hug one another even on holidays and special occassions and rarely tell each other I Love You.And most of them dont have a compassinate bone in their bodies!!! Not even toward one another! And my husband is the same way although he has gotten a little better over the years.His mom made a comment one day that my mushiness iss rubbing off on him!(lol) Anyway although we dont have kids yet i often worry and wonder if his coldness and lack of understanding is going to be embeded in our children.We have talked about it before and he tells me all the time that when he was a child his parents rarely hugged him,or asked him how he felt,or even kissed him! He said there would be times when he would be complaining about not feeling well for days and they wouldnt take him to see a DR because they said the bill would be too expensive.So he says that he is going to make a concious effort to be more compassionate with his children because he knows how his parents lack of compassion made him feel! But i still wonder about it because it's easier said than done! Onced you have learned something it's hard to unlearn it and he is still cold toward me at times! so with all that said i can understand why you would be concerned about your daughter because like you said you can lose out on alot of good things being that way! Not just realtionships but other thongs too!!! But just try to worry a little less doll!! Everything will be ok!!!