WHY ME?

Cosmo girl,

I'm sorry that you're going through such rough feelings right now.  I don't think any of us knows why anxiety will all of a sudden strike out of the blue.  For me, the first panic attack occurred for no apparent reason while I was travelling across state.  In light of your post, I look back at that as like having had a car wreck at that instant, rather than a panic attack.  What I mean is, when there don't seem to be any visible causes, anxiety basically is like having some life-changing accident happen without warning.  There probably isn't anything you could have done differently to prevent it, or to protect yourself.  All we can do once it does strike is try to recover and rehabilitate the way someone physically injured in an accident would.  That means giving ourselves lots of patience and time, and realizing that we're doing the best we can, even if it doesn't feel like enough.

You're going to get through this.  All you can do is take it a tiny bit at a time and recognize and applaud those baby steps that get you closer to how you really want to feel about your life. 

percycat

Cosmo girl, I've spent a lot of time asking why me? I eventually realised, well, Why not me? It's a of a thing to live with, especially when you are new to it...now without sounding like a granny (yes i've been living with this 15 years) I now mostly say..Ok so this is me, what can I do to make it better today?

I tried railing against it, fighting it, ignoring it, drowning it out with meds (and alcohol I'm ashamed to say) and none of it works.  So I've had counselling, therapy, taken my meds and done relaxation, and you know what's great I do have really great days/weeks/months when it's not even an issue for me.

That said...I really feel for what you are going through..it's the pits isn't it? Hopefully your medication will start taking effect soon, and if it doesn't please go back and tell your doc.

As Twiggy said, it's about babysteps..be kind to yourself, be gentle, don't push too hard and please don't ever feel guilty or ashamed..you did not ask for this. I wish I could be more help and I don't mean to sound preachy, but it really does get better when you take some positive steps (and sharing here is a great one).  I wish you all the best Cosmo Girl..try not to feel too beaten down..this is tough, but we will help xx

Cosmo girl,   I am so sorry that you are having a rough time and wish I could make it better for you (that's the mom in me coming out - LOL).  I too have asked myself "why me" so many times I've lost count.  It's not easy living with this and it can be very difficult to not let it consume our lives.  My suggestion to you is to take things one day at a time and taking small babysteps.  I am reminded to do this quite often because I tend to try to take giant steps because I want to beat this thing now.  But those giant steps don't work for me - it sets me back and I end up feeling horrible about myself.  So we all have to remember - babysteps.    Getting married is stressful, no matter how much you love him - it's stressful, no matter how you look at it.  School can also be stressful, no matter how well you are doing and it sound like you are doing well with everything.  But just remember these things can be overwhelming at times.  Have you talked with your doctor about any of this?  Maybe that's the first step for you to get a little bit of help and maybe even meds and/or therapy will help.  No matter what you decide to do, we will be here to help you through this.  Just keep posting and we will be here to support you- we all understand what you are going through.   Take care and here's some (((((hugs))))) for you, Wen

Here's the thing 'Cosmo girl'...you're still alive..you are still surrounded by all the beautiful things that you have mentioned in your post..nothing has really changed except that you got a big fright - as we do when panic attacks set in.

You have sought help and got meds and what's more you have reached out for help here at HW where there are lots of us that have gone or going thru the same thing as you...you are very brave, well done!

Now for the next step, how about seeking some form of counselling..sometimes in our lives we have swept a couple of problems under the mat, thinking we would deal with them later or just brushed them aside at the time - not realising that our subconscious has been holding on to these unfinished pieces of biz, and over time they have been getting bigger and bigger...and that's when panic attacks jump and bite us when we are totally unaware..they surely are a wake up call!

Keep posting and let us know how you are getting on.

Maree

Hi Cosmo Girl,

Just checking in to see how you're doing.

percycat

Dear Cosmo Girl.........

It is finally Friday............I hope your feeling better and we would love to see a post from you so if you feel like it talk to us whenever your ready.

Kitt

Hello Cosmo Girl, I ask from a Dad's standpoint, "what could I have done different?" Don't beat yourself up for one thing. My Father had this problem when he reached his 30's and it seemed to come out of the blue. Now my daughter who is just turning 13 is having the same issue. She had an accident on the trampoline and lost her breath. She then had a severe panic attack which she did not recover from until the doctor gave her prozac. She still is having issues sleeping and frequently comes to snuggle with me during the day when she feels uncomfortable. This sounds like a problem that you are never really cured from, but that you learn to manage. I pray that I can help my daughter to that point. I have no doubt that you will get there. You sound very strong (like my Father). Everyone is giving you good advice in that you should take your time, not put too much upon yourself so you induce the anxiety by accident, and take baby steps. Seems like the only people who keep weight off are the ones who do it with purpose and do it gradually. Maybe that is how we will get there too. You will be in our prayers. Chris

I believe ppl that have Anxiety and Panic are some of the most Intelligent,Strongest & Caring individuals I have ever known..........
We over analyse yes for sure.
We have to find ways to fight this DD
We need to carry on no matter how rough we feel or the angst we are having

WE understand what others are going thru and
NO matter how bad we are having a day
WE are always here for others and to help them thru if possible

WE have lived some horrid lives and gone thru really rough times each of us yet it has really made us stronger IMHO at least I know it has me ..........

I agree"why not me" and I also agree whole heartedly that you have to take "Baby steps" as Wen said ..it may take longer but you STILL reach your goal or destinations.........

I honestly believe if I had not had to battle this DD for over 30 plus yrs I would not be getting thru alot of what I have gotten thru the last couple of yrs plain and simple ........
I would not be the strong person I am when I am needed to be ...........
Thats my opinion and I am sure some will not agree but thats okay as we are allowed to have our own opinions here....

Hades yes....Why not me ..........

Take care all and have a good day,remember those baby steps add up
Lyn
Sis
Big sis
S.I.S..