What to do? What to do?

 Okay yall.  I am super confused!  I am still living with my Daddy and I am still working.  I love my job too!  But, my husband and I are going to go on a date on Thursday just to share what we've learned and see if there's anything left of us.  He really is trying and I know he is.  But there is still that huge fear in me that is saying he'll be like he was before.  Things will go back to normal and I will be miserable again.  I am sort of numb to the whole situation right now.  I dont know how I think or feel about all this.  It's almos like it's not real.  I think maybe I'm having like disassotiation or something???  I am finding that I really do like the person I am without him.  But I still love him.  I am sooooooo  confused!! I don't know what to do.  I know it's not time for me to go home to him yet but I really don't have any alone time here at Daddy's.  I never get a day to myself.  Ever!  I think I need to just go away from everything for a while.  But I think then I would be really bored or something.  I have never felt this way about anything in my life. It's almost like I have total peace with the whole situation.  It's either that or I am really turning phsyco now.  What is going on?  It's so frustrating to not know what I want.  I am so  confused.  Maybe I am depressed.  Oh I need help.

Trying to decide if you want to be in a relationship is a tough one.

Being alone and learning to love being alone is one of the most freeing feelings in the world.
I love "me" as a single person as well. When I was single I did so much more with myself, my anxiety was also a lot less because I had only me to worry about.

Don't rush back to any relationship out of bordom. Love is a beautiful thing, but falls very low on the scale of a "functional" relationship.

If your husband is saying he's going to change, it's more likely than not he's going to try to change for you and not for him, in which case he will resort to his old ways in no time. It takes YEARS for someone to change and a lot of hard work.

You can still love your husband and not be in a relationship.
Take your time to make this decision. It's all about you, not anyone else.

 

Hey everyone!
I just want to say thankyou so much for all the help and support you have given me here. I love all of you!! I am doing better with the anxiety but I still have alot to figure out. I just love all of you. Truly. Your all so sweet and supportive. I don't know what I'd have done if I hadn't came upon this website. Love to all!!!!

TFC,

I hope things go well for you on Thursday, that you get some questions answered. I will be thinking of you, let us know how things go, and come on for some support if you need...bless

Meg