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More upset after counselling than before: help?

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Posted 8/8/2008 3:27 PM (GMT 0)
I went to my counselling session this morning and left more upset than when I went in, which is saying something. The counsellor is a psychotherapist... She is currently rehashing my childhood which I don't see the relevance of right now. If I had a few years of therapy to do then maybe, but I've only got 6 weeks and a lot of this I've done before. I don't need to figure out what went wrong years ago: I know what happened then. I need to figure out what went wrong recently and caused this turn about. I have 4 more sessions left with her and feel like I've achieved nothing so far. I desperately don't want to go onto anxiety meds but the way things are going I'm going to have to. Things haven't improved at all.

I'm forcing myself to try and continue doing things as normal but it's a constant fight. I go to Tesco and, even when I have a list, I can't concentrate to get what we need. The only thought stampeding through my head is 'get out'. I feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall. Some days I do ok: I make it into town with reletively little upset and back again. Other days just thinking of going out into the drive terrifies me and causes constant panic. Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm trying to implement my old CBT strategies but feel like I'm failing miserably.

I'm sorry for whinging and moaning here. In a way I'm getting it all straight in my head and venting my frustration. I'm tired. Thank you for your support. <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_107963-->
Posted 8/8/2008 3:41 PM (GMT 0)
Hey scattered I remember when my counsellor started dragging up my childhood it was quite distressing caused me too have a panic attack in her office. I guess we jus have to trust they know wht there doing. Jus celebrate every high n good day n write off the bad days. Its gud to vent :p
Posted 8/9/2008 2:41 AM (GMT 0)

Hey there, 6 weeks is not very long for therapy............here is the online link for the free CBT course, MoodGYM: 

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

It may help you get back on track with the CBT. Good Luck.

Kitt

Posted 8/9/2008 5:00 AM (GMT 0)
Hi scattered.... my children were in counselling for years. with children they are more careful I think, but I know with one daugher they were able to get a lot out... she drew pictures which were very telling... she would react of course, usually on the way home on the bus, or at home. It was always so traumatic for her... but the psychiatrist explained that "it " has to come out in one form or another... otherwise it will control your behavior, reactions, mental health, physical health for the rest of your life. She said that there was no way AROUND it... just through it! My daughter is 18 now and well aware of her triggers and knows where NOT to let her mind go... she stops herself when her thinking becomes negative and for the most part is very happy. She still has a bit of trouble being alone but she is working on that. She has a beautiful daughter and good partner so I know she will be all right.
My other daughter on the other hand... never let anything out. She was sooo guarded that the psychiatrist only saw glimpses of her abuse and inner struggle . She is 19 now. Still very much "in control" but is not well. She sleeps , sleeps and sleeps... she is much better than she used to be , but I think her mind may not connect with her anxiety , but her body remembers and she is ill , sore all over, etc...
I think that 6 weeks isn't enough... and I can't imagine the psychiatrist opening this up for you without having some idea of where she is going in the next 4 weeks. I think most of the work will be left to you after your 4 sessions are up. Keep a journal... it may help to track your progress even when you feel there might not be any. Reading back, you may realize how far you've come. I couldn't do the therapy thing... but my journals have shown just how much I have changed and adapted over the years and just how much I have grown.
Much love and prayers
Mary
Posted 8/9/2008 8:19 AM (GMT 0)
Kitt - thanks for the link. I'll sit down and take a look later today.

Marie -Clare - The reason it's only for 6 weeks is a) because I live in the UK and the quickest way to see someone was through the NHS (surprisingly!) at my GP surgery. They only offer 6 weeks worth of sessions, the assumption being that if you need more you need to be refered to the Mental Health Team; and b) because I go back to uni on Sept. 20th for my final year. I was hoping to get a grip on this before I go back but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. I'll try and find a long-term counsellor at uni. I'm also going to ring an old counsellor of mine and see if she has any space for the next 6 weeks. I don't know if she will though... I know she likes to work on the long-term.

Thanks for your responses.
Posted 8/9/2008 1:11 PM (GMT 0)
Scattered13

Good Morning and I am glad to hear you will be able to seek a counselor once you go back to Uni. Keep on talking to us as we are all here to support yous.

Anxiety is an ugly beast but remember you have anxiety, it does not have you. I went throught the childhood memories in therapy and I would come away feeling very sad for the child within me but in the end I have come to terms with the child is safe now and I am OK.  I understand now how I got to where I am as an adult.

However, this was not accomplished in 6 weeks so please do look at the online CBT to help you through when  you have time.

You will make it as you have all of us standing beside you now.

Hugs

Kitt


 

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