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Posted 10/16/2008 3:28 PM (GMT 0)
Hi all.

I'm new to this online-support-group thing, so any help would be great.

For starters, I know I'm a hypochondriac. I've always been. It's never been bad though, except for these past few months. I'm recently married to the most amazing man on the planet, and have for some reason begun to worry almost constantly that something is going to happen to me (that I might lose him) or that I might die and be forever apart from him. It doesnt help that about a month ago I started having bad abdomenal pains (cramps, bloating, stabbing pains) along with chest pressure (mostly pressure with a lot of burping, and sometimes pains). So of course I'm worried about pneumonia, anemia, cancer, etc etc etc.

Also not helping is that I'm not busy at work. I can only check my email and favorite blogs so many times. My time-filler became looking up my symptoms and self-diagnosing. Bad, I know.

A little bit of history about me - I went through a pretty serious bout of depression in college, and went on anti-depressants for 2 (maybe 3) years. They were amazing. My depression was gone, my worries had all but vanished, and I felt great for the first time in a looong time. I believed my depression was mostly circumstantial, so last year (around the time that I started dating my now husband), I decided to go off the meds. And I remained in good shape. Sure, I was stressed (moving to a new city, getting a new job, planning a wedding), but key here - I was busy.

It's a year later now (with a load of new stresses - another possible move, bad economy, finding a new job...) and my worrying has consumed me. I worry about something happening to my husband (he travels a good bit), but I mostly worry that I'm going to die. Irrational, yes. But I can't get myself out of my head. Tingly/spasmy leg? Blood clot that's going to give me a heart attack or brain aneurism. Mildly numb arm? Stroke. Heightened tongue awareness? I'm going to choke on it in my sleep.

Bottom-line, I'm driving myself crazy, I'm driving my husband crazy, and this has to stop. I don't want to go back on meds because I don't like being "medicated", but I'm at my wits end. I turn 24 this weekend, and all I want is (1) to stop being worried about dying, and (2) feel like I'm breathing normally again.

Please help.

Post Edited (wildimagination) : 10/16/2008 9:31:05 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/16/2008 5:39 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Wildimagination,

And welcome to HealingWell.

You are not alone, a lot of us suffer from the same things that you are. So try to find some comfort in knowing that.

Right now there isn't much of a job market so that explains why you can't find a job at this time. But I am sure that you will stumble on to something. Just don't give up looking.

Things are hard all the way around. Many people suffer with depression and anxiety, along with the panic. So you aren't alone there either. I know that this doesn't make things any better, but sometimes it is nice to know that you have somebody in the same boat.

Is there a hobby that you could pick up to stop from spending so much time looking up different symptoms for illnesses? Do you like to read novels? Something constructive that you could do maybe. I am sure that you can find something to occupy your time, how about some crafts? Do you like to make things? There are many places that could use volunteers also, maybe you could donate some of your time somewhere that might eventually open up the door for a job. You really need to keep your mind busy.

I am sure that somebody else will come along soon that can identify with your issues. Take comfort in knowing that we are all here for you. Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/16/2008 5:58 PM (GMT 0)

Hello wildimagination,

Welcome to HealingWell. We are so happy you have found us.

Perhaps you need to visit a physician for a physical to make sure you do not have any medical problems...............you have some sx of GERD with your stomach issues.  WE do have a GERD/Heartburn forum on HW.  You may want to take a peak at it.

Many people go off their meds when life is great and has been for an extended period of time.  Even off the meds you feel great until you find yourself in the middle of depression.

You have several choices, try therapy and see a Pdoc or perhaps start medications again or a combination  of both.

You are in good company here, we know where your coming from so keep talking to us.

Again a warm welcome

Kitt

Posted 10/17/2008 12:55 AM (GMT 0)

Hi wildimagination,

Welcome to HW, I hope we can help you out a here. What you have here we tend to refer to as "health anxiety" rather than hypochondria. I personally believe hypochondria is when you use a pretend illness to manipulate and you most certainly aren't doing that. My advice - stay off those health websites! Go and see a doctor about those health concerns. Kitt mentioned GERD, it also sounds a bit like IBS (also on the forum)..

There is no shame in taking meds if they improve your quality of life. If you take them sensibly and stick to the dose then you will be fine. I believe life is too short to be worried about the stigma of taking meds, but then again maybe therapy is a better option for you.

I hope you have a very Happy Birthday!! Again welcome to HW and let us know how you go.

Meg

Posted 10/21/2008 12:44 PM (GMT 0)

Thanks for the warm welcome. It feels a ton better knowing tham I'm not the only one dealing with these issues.

I had a pretty decent weekend - was able to stay busy around the house enough to almost forget about my chest. Then came Sunday night. I was probably over-reacting, but I couldn't fall asleep, felt weak, nauseous, shaky and like I was going to pass out. Almost asked my hubby to drive me to the hospital. Luckily, he calmed me down and stayed awake till I fell asleep. Great guy, eh? :)

I had made the appointment last week already, so I was happy to have a doc visit yesterday. She listened, which was quite nice. Had a complete physical done along with some more tests for this chest tightness problem - normal EKG (thank God), possible spots on chest xray (oh God), and a battery of blood tests for anemia, vitamin deficiency, blood count and I can't remember what else. She said that for my age and weight, I am healthy. Which of course almost brings me to tears since I don't feel healthy. She's going to have a Radiologist look at my xrays, and she gave me a prescription for anxiety to use at my discretion. Said I could have a wierd virus that lingers for a while, could be anemia, or could be stress.

I'm not quite as worried now that I've had all the tests. I just have to stay focused on things OTHER than an abnormal xray (ok, only possibly abnormal) and waiting for the blood test results.  *deep breaths*  I can beat this.

One more thing - I told the doc that the only meds I'm currently on are birth control (Ovcon) and asked if what I'm feeling is a possible side effect. She said no. My gyno said no. My mom (pharmacist) said very unlikely. However, the side effects as listed on drugs.com show chest tightness... Anyone ever heard of birth control having those kind of side effects? I have one more week of active pills before my period, and I'm wondering if I feel better that week that those pills may be my problem...

Guess I'll have to wait and see.

Posted 10/21/2008 1:06 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Wildimagination!
OMG! You sound sooo much like me!
I too would worry myself sick thinking nothing but bad thoughts.
If I'd watch t.v. and saw or even heard of some illness or that someone had done something bad - like killed themselves, shot someone, I would worry - what's keeping me from doing that? I would worry that one day I would become so crazy that I too could possibly do something like that.
I became obsessed with certain websites trying to figure out what a certain symptom I was having was..I swear to this date, I've diagnosed myself w/having a Brain Tumor, MS, Colon Cancer, Stomach Cancer, Throat Cancer, and the list goes on!
I was horrible!
I got into therapy and was going once every week for almost 6 mos. With the advise of my therapist, I had to stay off of the computer!
That alone didn't help though. I still had physical symptoms and my mind would fear the worst!
I finally had to go see a GI doctor. The day up until my appt. I was a wreak!
My husband took me to a Pysch. Doctor who put me on an antidepressant and anxiety meds.
It took a couple of weeks for me to "calm down" but what helped me the most was - on bad days, I would read a book that my Dr. told me to get. I've bet I've read that thing 100 X's.
I even have certain pages underlined/highlighted - so I can just thumb through it.
I still take my antidepr. and only Ativan as needed.
I try to keep myself busy. I'm a stay at home mom, both of my kids are in school all day now so I have 8 hrs each day to drive myself crazy!
The only advise I can give is to find a good therapist, Read a book called DON'T PANIC, and a work book called Mind Over Mood, Changing the way feel by changing the way you think.
I too seem to do better when my life is very busy..However, there will be a day when not a lot is going on..this is where the books are helpful to me.
I would also see about getting back on your meds. See your doctor!
Maybe once you calm yourself, your stomach issues will subside!?
Know that your not alone!
Take Care!
Jenn
Posted 10/21/2008 1:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hello wildimagination

Welcome to HW, i am sorry to hear that you are not feeling well, and i hope we can help you out. First off i just wanted to let you know that i am going through exactly what you are going through, i am also constantly worrying about my health. I have been to the ER 4 times in the last month because i thought something was wrong with me, first it was because i had a headache and i thought it could be something to do with my brain,and the other times because of chest pain, i sometimes wont even leave my house because i am afraid and embarrassed of having a panic attack and worrying the whole time i am out if something is gonna happen to me. i Well anyways like you said it helps to know that there are other people out there who are going through the same thing you are....it really helps i know i felt so relieved that there are other people just like me out there. Well since i am still fairly new here and im pretty much still trying to learn how to cope with this myself i really have no good advice to offer, but i strongly recommend that you check out the website often because some of the folks here who have been going through this for awhile now have some really good advice, speaking of which, you should check out the post i put up....alot of folks gave some good advice and some interesting exercises that help as well...one that was especially interesting was a link that stkitt provided which talks about cbt or cognitive behavioral therapy....really interesting stuff, i am actually gonna see my doctor this week to see if he can refer me to a therapist....well anyways i hope that was helpful to you in some way :) and hope you get well soon, hope we can be of some help to you here...oh yeah heres the website if you wanna check it out

The MoodGym Training Program
http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/
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