i have been meaning to sit down and write on this for a while but i honestly haven't had time untill just now. Because (belive it or not) my life is quite full again.
I was under a lot of stress with school, and gradually i started getting more and more sick, feeling naucious, panic attacks (although i didn't know what they were at the time), depression, anger, hiding away from social situations. Eventually i had a full break down and couldn't actually leave my house without having full on sevear panic attacks and having to go back in. Some days i couldn't even leave my bed room, i remember christmas day and my family made me come downstairs to open presents, and i spent the whole time trying not to throw up and wanting to go back to my room. I was so anxcious, even when i was in my room (my safe place) i felt sick and had panic attacks because i was constantly so worried about my health. They told me it was anxiety related, but i refused to belive them and stayed a prisoner of my own mind for about a year before i finally got help.
I started seeing a psychotherapist, although i didn't find him altogether that helpful. I began a course of prozac (40mg a day), took walks every single day (just going a little further each time, and then back again), and most of all, came on this forum and got support and hope from those in the same situation. And thats what i want to achieve fromt his post, i want you to know there IS hope and it DOES get better. I remember sitting reading sucess stories and thinking "maybe it will never happen to me" - I am 20 years old and i worked full time at a dementia ward following my recovery which took a lot but i faced it. I then moved to London, just me and a friend, no job, no nothing and set up home from scratch - I DID IT. It took all i had, it was the scariest thing ever, but you know, the panic attacks, completely vanished and i started worrying about real life things again, like what to wear, and what to cook for dinner. I am now back in my home town (because i need the money not coz of panic) and am auditioning for THEATRE SCHOOL (prays please!).
I get so angry seeing all these expensive treatment methods that claim to get rid of your panic attacks if you just pay them hundereds of dollars, its not faire that they ask that of you, and you don't need them. I think medicines deffinetly help some people, some peopel therapy, but i think (in my experience) the old fashioned way, just pushing yourself a tiny bit every day - just walking to the end of the drive way and back at first even. It feels like it takes forever, but you really do get there, and when you do get there, its all so worth the risks you took. Buy cheap books used of amazon or ebay about CBT, start a diary to help locate where your negative thoughts come from and when they arise, take a walk every day, maybe with a personal music system to help take your mind off of it! YOU WILL GET THERE!
I had the first panic attack i've had in AGES the other day, i was tired and on the way home from a big comedy gig and hadn't eaten well, and it came on, i knew what it was, and after a few seconds it just went away again because of the CBT i have learnt. I will admit, i still need help with my depression, but it makes 1000000000000000000000 times the difference now my panic has gone.
I hope this has inspired some people, i REALLY need you to know that you can get through this, even though it seems so impossible right now. You will look back and actually be in disbelife that you were ever a prisoner to those silly panic attacks. DON'T LET THEM BEAT YOU!!!!