Hey there my friend, nope dying is not a better solution but learning to work with your health anxiety is a good thing to get focused on.
I come from a long family hx of cancer and I developed skin cancer..........I was shocked even knowing that it was curable I was still is shock and awe. I have a sister having ovarian cancer surgery and breast cancer surgery on Thursday......
I asked my Doctor to run the CA-125 blood test Which can detect the presence of tumors in the ovary. I wasin the nrmal range so now I do not doubt the test I just move on and take care of my sister.
My Father was sure he would die of cancer and he did........as did his 5 siblings.
I am not afraid. I am a work in progress so I keep marching on so you do too. We can make it through anxiety together.
I do understand your fears and I am glad you feel comfortable posting here. We are family.
Gentle Hugs to You,
Kitt