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Tuesday Roll Call 1/6/09

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 1/5/2009 9:41 PM (GMT 0)
Good morning family! i know im ahead of you guys time wise, but thought id get rollcall under way. I have been doing alot of soul searching lately, and sometimes i dwell on the past too much, but here is todays question:

"Has AP held you back in your relationships with family, friends, colleagues etc?"

AP hasnt really affected my friendships or work mates at all and my family are pretty darn supportive. and although my ex boyfriends are in the past, they actually dealt with my AP pretty well. what they couldnt deal with was me self medicating to numb myself of the pain and trauma i have experienced with AP. they couldnt deal with the side effects of my meds either- weight gain, loss of libido, exhaustion etc. it makes me fear i will never find someone who can deal with the whole package known as Maz.

would love to hear your thoughts, have agreat day guys!

Maz XX

Posted 1/5/2009 10:02 PM (GMT 0)
No the anxiety has not held me back in my relationships. I have found that my Crohns Disease affects those areas more. But I have a wonderful husband who is very supportive in all ways, so I guess I am lucky there.

And my beautiful Maz, I know there is someone out there to love you. Keep your eyes open because he might just pop up when your least expecting him. Thats what happended to me:)
Posted 1/6/2009 1:18 AM (GMT 0)
Yes, my anxiety has held me back in relationships and every other part of my life. I resented the illness because of it. But now I'm accepting that anxiety is a part of me and may always be. So, I need to work on keeping it under control and making sure I'm healthy overall.
Posted 1/6/2009 2:14 AM (GMT 0)
Hello All!!!

I have to agree with you again Aries. . . I also spent years resentful and edgy all the time because of myself letting this disorder effect me so much in all areas of my life. And the friend and family thing bothered me for so long. . . Now I see more clearly the older I've become and know not to judge myself and others so harshly with my super sensitive nature, lol. I'm glad to have finally grown up (for the most part:) in this area and stay positive at least 90% of the time :)
Posted 1/6/2009 4:08 PM (GMT 0)
Definitely!

 P/a has affected every relationship I have or had.  My husband is amazingly supportive, but it still creates problems when he wants to go to his family get togethers and I don't feel up to it, he gets angry because he thinks his family doesn't understand and he gets embarrassed that I'm not there, although for the most part they do understand.  If I force myself to go I feel very resentful toward him, so it's a tough situation all around.

Of the 8 kids in my family, only one still talks to me and she is the one who lives in another state.  I have 3 sisters who live within 25 minutes of me and I never see or hear from them.  We all used to be so close and then the p/a started and everyone kind of bailed on me.  It's all just to inconvenient for them.

I don't have any friends, but that I think is mostly due to my insecurities, but the difficulties of people not understanding what I go through and not being able to go out shopping or to lunch with them isn't very conducive to keeping up a friendship either. 

I think being "dumped" by my family has caused me to be way to cautious about making any friends, so I just don't even try. 

Posted 1/6/2009 4:34 PM (GMT 0)
JuneBug, you're wrong about not having friends. You have many here on HW! I've missed many family events due to anxiety and they don't understand what I go through. No one bothers to educate themselves or call to ask how I'm doing with the anxiety. I can totally relate to you.
Posted 1/6/2009 4:50 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Aries, you are right, I have the best friends in the world right here!  Thanks for the reminder I needed it today!

Posted 1/6/2009 7:36 PM (GMT 0)
unfortunately i have to say yes, ap has definitely affected my relationships. i hold back from things a lot, both because i get anxious and fear having a panic attack, and because of my fibro pain. when i first started having panic attacks in my 20's, i lost several friendships that i'd had for years because the other people didn't know how to deal with my new issues (i had always been the funny one who helped everyone else, you know?) and ever since i've been reluctant to get too close to people. once bitten and all that (even though for me that was twice bitten, but that's a whole other story all together..)

there are a lot of things that i would love to go out and do with my husband and kids that i don't do because of my ap and health issues and that makes me sad sometimes. fortunately my husband is super understanding and as long as i give my kids a lot of attention they don't seem to notice that mommy's not out and about doing things all the time. i would love to get to a point where i can just get up and go do what i want without worrying, but even if i get my ap under control, i do still have to consider my fibro. i don't know..it can all be very frustrating!!
Posted 1/6/2009 7:45 PM (GMT 0)
My husband, and family for that matter is very supportive. But I know it's been hard on them watching me go through it all. From my health problems to the anxiety. So yes, I think it does effect my relationships. I'm certainly not as outgoing, or have as high of a self esteem as I used to either.

I'm hoping once I get thing under control things will be better in those aspects for sure!
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