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Posted 1/16/2009 12:24 AM (GMT 0)
Hello,

I just found this site today. Been reading everyone's posts and comments for the last few hours. Great great resource!

I'm 30 f. Live in Alaska. Single mother with 2 kids. I have been suffering from panic attacks off and on for the last 2 years. I can first recall it after a dental visit and the numbing stuff wore off into my blood stream. Crazy electrial current, dizzy/faint, couldn't breathe, rapid heart beat... worst feeling ever. After it happened the first time, it started happening more and more. I have always been mildly depressed in the winter months, and have always been a hyper sensitive person. However, its nothing like social anxiety. I'm shining bright in a room full of 100 (love to be on stage type thing) and then with one on one's... I'm not so great.

I've seen a few doctors. Tried Lexapro and Cymbalta. 1 dose sent me straight to the floor/bathroom. First thing my body does is expell any and all "stuff" anyway it can.

I've tried Buspar, it didn't do a thing.

I've tried Xanax. Works mildly. No family doctor will give me more than a few at a time. I can't afford a psychatrist, insurance doesn't cover that!!!! I google anything I take, and wind up scaring myself half to death with personal stories.

What I do take nightly is Ambien. It calms me down, eases my mind into sleep. I can't take anything new without severe adverse reactions.

I don't want to take it forever... it seems like it's been forever. I hide it from my BF who is extreamly sympathetic to my issues, but doesn't understand them at all.

So what I'm rableming on is... I get anxiety at night. When everythign is done and calm.

OR, I get it at work when I'm not busy. My body goes into over drive and I wind up in the bathroom for hours, sometimes days. I missed more than 2 weeks of work last month! I have had numerous breakdowns that my BF see's and he's so confused. How can I explain to a man who's wonderful and has all the potential of a husband and step father how emotionally or mentally messed up I am? What's wrong with my body or mind that it freaks out for no apparent reason?

Ok, thanks for reading. I'll be here often.

 

Posted 1/16/2009 1:16 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Mdv159 :)

Welcome to HealingWell and the A/P Family!  I am so sorry for all the problems you are going through with your anxiety and I'm glad you found us.  You are in good company here with all the wonderful people and great resources.

First off. . . please stop googleing your symptoms my friend.  I have been so guilty of this in the past and it caused me to go into a full blown panic which made me think I was having a heart attack.  It is natural to want to do some research but unfortunately the anxiety symptoms are similar to many different diseases and conditions.  It is best to leave the diagnosis up to the docs :)  I also know the pain, along with so many, of being able to afford all of the great treatments out there due to the economy and sometimes less than adequate health insurance coverage.  It is frustrating and sad for millions of people the world over.

When it comes to your meds, that is something that you will have to keep working with your physician on.  What is good for one is sometimes not so good for another.  If your doctor won't give you and monitor the meds that are working, then maybe it is time for a second opinion.  To many docs are scared to prescribe anything for anxiety or pain because of people that have abused the system, which makes it difficult for the rest of us that really need it and would never do that.  I can't afford a therapist either, so I took it upon myself to start healing and seeking my own answers and that is how I came to find this great place.  We have a free online resource to a therapy (CBT) called MoodGYM.  It has helped me and so many others to calm down our anxiety levels (the link is below:).  I feel that this would be a great place for you to start, IMO :)

I feel for all the members like yourself that are raising young childred or have with this darn disorder.  That would have to be tough.  Plus you have a great guy to boot that you are afraid of losing.  I think that you should tell him exactly what you are dealing with, because having the support from a loved one at home is a true blessing.  The only way to tell him is by sharing and start from the begining.  Of course that is up to you, but I feel that a relationship based on total trust and understanding has a foundation of stone :)

You take care of yourself and it is so nice to meet you :)  Stick with us and you'll be glad you did :)  Here is the link:

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

If you check out the Anxiety-Panic Resources thread at the top of the forum page you will find this link and other great links as well!

Posted 1/16/2009 1:19 AM (GMT 0)
Hi, and welcome. I also experience anxiety at night when i'm just alone with my thoughts or when i'm just sitting around doing nothing, so maybe you should try to keep busy until you cant do anything but lay down and sleep, try reading a book or journaling about how you're feeling when the anxiety hits. As far as explaining it to your boyfriend, just sit down and have a heartfelt conversation with him about whats going on to take away any confusion he's experiencing from seeing you in those moments, and just mention that the best thing he can do is to just be there for you when you need him the most, even if he's on the phone helping to calm you, and if he cares enough about he'll understand. :-)
Posted 1/16/2009 1:42 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you!!! I wear out my welcome with the same old girlfriends, and I don't tell my BF 100% of what I'm going thru. I think this will be a great resource. Talk therapy is CHEAP! The research I have done seems to be geared towards a fear of the future. I threw stability out the window when I left the kids father almost 5 years ago. I suppose holding down a mortgage, a full time job, 2 kids under 10 yrs old in competitive sports, a 1 yr new love relationship, and a social life can take an inward toll.
Something has to give and it's been my health. I have lost almost 10 lbs. because nothing I eat stays in me long anymore. I used to be so tough. I'm looking forward to getting back to my real self.
Posted 1/16/2009 2:18 AM (GMT 0)
I had the same thing with a dental visit. Novocaine has adrenaline in it. The adrenaline went straight to my blood stream. My heart was racing so fast! I have had a dental phobia ever since. Also, the dentist can't use novocaine on me anymore.

It sounds like you need to find ways to calm your body at night. Your scared of the symptoms and the fear adds more adrenaline, and it's a terrible cycle. Look at the Resources on this forum. Begin relaxation techniques and change your diet accordingly.

You must remember anxiety and panic attacks won't kill you. Allow your body to go limp when you feel the symptoms coming on. They will not last long if you don't add more fear. Let us know how you're doing!
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