A heartfelt post

I, know what mental and emotional suffering is, I had depression all my life. I now live with the daily torment of anxiety, and so far, nothing stops it, although meds help some.

Worrying, or just thinking about anything insignificant will raise my anxiety. I don't sleep much, and am usually on edge. I cannot enjoy life, I am afraid to be away from my father , (he is elderly) when he is in his bed, and I awaken 2 AM or earlier. He has tried to relax me with backrubs, and it helps, but the feeling in my stomach won't go away. It's like having a constant state of adrenaline. This seemed to have started after my 2 hernia surgeries last month.

Since I am among the suffering, I now know what it's like to want help but cannot get it. It's like having cancer, and the pain in unbearable, but the Docs won't give you anything effective for the pain. More or or less trying to extinguish a volcano with a squirt-gun.


So, what do we do? Do we have to continue living in torment? And why? Why can't we get what we need to get better?

I would rather be a catatonic person with no awareness.

Post Edited (markofkane) : 1/16/2009 6:42:30 AM (GMT-7)

Hi Mark,

Have you tried living in the now? It is something that has to be practiced and is much easier said than done. Try not to dwell on the past, and try not to worry about the future, it works itself out.

I know that this isn't easy. I can say to do it, but doing it is another thing and as I said it takes a lot of practice. But try living in the present. Being aware of everthing around you. Keep practicing and eventually this will help you.

In the meantime, I hope that they get your medications right for you so that you don't have to suffer anymore with this. I know it can torment you. But you do have power of the mind and with PRACTICE, eventually you can get control.

Deep breathing is another thing that can help you during an attack. Practice that too. Breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth. It is called smelling the roses and blowing out the candles. And when you are blowing out. Use pursed lips. This gives you more control of your breathing.

I hope that this helps some in some smoall way. I know that when you get control of things you will be more at ease with life. Live in the present and breathe. This will help you for the time being.

Best wishes for a wonderful relaxing day.

Hugs, Karen

Karen said the perfect thing. Live for today. Don't worry about the future or dwell on the past. Doing this will stop some anxiety. Also, you need an anti-depressant. Try them until you find one that works. You said you were beginning Klonopin. That will help with the anxiety, but you need help for the depression. You haven't worked in a long time. You have too much time on your hands. Find a hobby or you may even want to do some volunteer work if you can. So, get an anti-depressant and get outside! Go for a walk or a drive! Hang in there!

markofkane said...
Worrying, or just thinking about anything insignificant will raise my anxiety. I don't sleep much, and am usually on edge. I cannot enjoy life, I am afraid to be away from my father , (he is elderly) when he is in his bed, and I awaken 2 AM or earlier. He has tried to relax me with backrubs, and it helps, but the feeling in my stomach won't go away. It's like having a constant state of adrenaline. This seemed to have started after my 2 hernia surgeries last month.

That's how I describe my anxiety also.  It's fight or flight but unecessary - thus we suffer.  I am sorry for how you are feeling.  My doctor tried many medications but Zyprexa was the one that finally zapped my anxiety.  I take several other meds too - mood stabilizer and antidepressants.